You are not alone
https://youtu.be/pAyKJAtDNCw?si=P9K\_dMGTw3bBmh9P
I understand anyone that doesn't want to watch this as it is one of MJ's music videos. Those who were around at the time… it might be sufficient just to remember what it was like. This was back when I still believed he was a good person, if a bit strange and I loved his music, especially this song. I've heard other people talk about the dichotomy between not being able to hate his music, especially due to having a lot of fond memories tied to his songs (as I do) and yet despising him as a person. It makes me cry that he could make such beautiful songs while being such a monster and relegating his victims to a lifetime of pain, many still suffering alone. But I remember this video even stood out for me at the time because it just felt so odd, especially the half-naked scenes with Lisa Marie Presley. There is so much awkwardness and clearly zero chemistry and I remember at the time just feeling really icky about it. He looked so feminine/androgynous and unsexy aswell and yet keeps showing off his chest. It's another example of knowing in your bones something was wrong with him but not realising at the time what the explanation was.