How can I make this work?
My M40 wife F34 and I have been married for 16 years and she wants to open our marriage but I don’t. We have been having problems and have really drifted apart. I still love her deeply but she doesn’t feel the same way. She says that she wants to stay together and would like to rebuild our marriage, but be able to live a single life too.
I feel ok with her having one night stands now and then, but she also wants to have someone she can go to for sex at any point. Nothing has even happened yet and I can’t deal with it.
I don’t want to have sex with anyone else at all, I see sex as an emotional thing which generates feelings, she sees it as just a fun activity.
Can anybody give me any advice on how to deal with my feelings to be able to cope with this, without resenting her or breaking up our family? Especially people who have been in a situation like ours.
Edit: It will hurt me more if I have to leave. Even though I know her feelings have waned, my wife and kids are still my world. She will not entertain therapy as a couple of for herself, and communication around this is difficult. I have tried to establish what rules we can put in place but she just says that she doesn’t even know herself exactly what she wants or how often.