I realized today the progress I made
Ive been dealing with an anxiety disorder for 5 years. It lead me to depression and I couldnt leave my house without panicking, I couldnt go anywhere alone, I couldnt take public transports without crying or having panic attacks.
But today I went to an other city for a flea market, I was so anxious when I left this morning but the day went so great.
I missed my train back home but I didnt freak out, i just walked around the city by myself instead, i went to a dvd shop. Which might not feel like a huge deal but im usually too anxious to enter new places I dont know alone.
I even had a chat with the guy who works there and he was so nice, i found my favorite movie there too.
Then I went back home and I dont feel exhausted, I dont feel like crying because it took too much from me. Im tired, yes. But im glad I went there, even if this morning it felt so impossible to even leave the bed because I was stressed, i managed and its the best day ive had in a long time.
2 years ago I had daily panic attacks at the idea of seeing people, of going outside. Now I can just do so many things that felt so impossible before.
Its still hard most days, I still get very anxious. I see it as ups and downs and it doesnt cancel out the progress I made.
I think its thanks to my best friend a lot. We rarely see each other because he lives far away but when we do I dont feel scared. I feel like I can do whatever I want because hes with me. And it taught me to be comfortable by myself too. And im so grateful for it.
My next anxiety objective is to go to a concert alone, but for now it still seems complicated. But not impossible.
Thanks for reading, im sorry if I made any mistakes english isnt my first language.