I just feel so broken
Hey Bromos. I’m just venting here because I have nowhere else to do so. I know it’s not mom specific, but I just need to spew everything out before I explode. Back at the beginning of March, my husband lost his job. No warning. No issues. They just let him go. This was completely out of left field and very unexpected. Our housing was associated with the company he worked for, therefore, we’re also had to move. Moving is expensive and complicated, especially without an income. He managed to stay at a new company a month later, but a month without a paycheck was brutal, especially while trying to move.
Somehow with pure grit and selling everything we could, and me taking any small jobs I could, we managed to get the money together, fund a place to live, and get moved. He loves his new job, and we like our place. However, our rent is higher than we were paying since we live in a tourist area, rent always is higher when you move at this time, so we’ve been scrimping and cutting back until we’re get back on our feet. I thought I could see a light at the end. And then, the universe or whatever was like “nah. I don’t really like you, so here’s some more shit”.
My car decided to just clunk out on me in the midge of a highway yesterday, and it’s looking like it’s going to be expensive to fix. I don’t have any extra money. Like none. I was so close to thinking we’d finally get to a place where things would be alright, and then this. My husband’s truck will be paid off in three more payments. I was planning on trading my pos cat in for something manageable once his was paid off, and now I probably can’t even do that.
This past year had just been so, so bad with medical and mental health costs for our kid, and then my husband losing his job, and note this. And then, to top it off, this morning, a glass vase that was my grandmother’s fell and broke. I’ve meticulously kept this thing safe for so many years. It’s all I have of hers, and now it’s gone. I lost it and sobbed so hard. Pretty sure my husband thought I was losing my mind. I don’t know. It was just the last straw for me.
Everyone I know is making posts about their upcoming vacations that they’re spending like 10 grand on for a week. Like it’s nothing. And I’m here just thinking about how 10 grand would be life changing, and to them it’s just pocket change, and I’m just frustrated and envious, and mostly just sad. I know, logically, things will get better, but I just can’t help wondering when? If you’ve read this far, thanks for letting me vent.