My international boyfriend
I met my boyfriend on Snapchat and we’ve been dating long distance for over a year now. I’m 21 and he’s 22. He lives in New York and I live in Iowa. He’s an international student, so life has been really difficult for him financially. His parents send him money every month for rent and food, but it’s usually not enough.
For a while he was trying to get a car, but because he can’t really work legally and didn’t have good credit, it took him a long time. He finally got one, but he didn’t have insurance yet and someone hit his car. The money he got back mostly went toward paying the loan. When he had the car, he was doing Uber Eats to survive, but ever since the accident he’s basically been home for like 7 months not really doing anything because he can’t afford another car right now.
I’m also a student, Im a US citizen working part-time and I already have my own responsibilities. I have a $7,000 car loan, I have some school loan, and I take care of myself and Im still living with my parents just for now. Throughout our relationship, whenever he needed help, I would send him money and support him emotionally. I even borrowed him $500 recently to help him get another car. I’m also always the one taking flights to go visit him and I never really ask him for anything. He’s a really nice guy and he’s really trying to make it.He does buy me stuff every once in a while. Maybe if he was a US citizen it wouldn’t be this hard.
Now he wants me to co-sign for him so he can get a loan for a car, but honestly I’m scared. He’s not working right now and I don’t want to ruin my credit or make things harder for myself in the future when I want to get my own apartment or become financially stable. He got upset because I’m hesitant about it.
I feel guilty because I love him and I know he’s a good person. I truly don’t think he’s using me. But at the same time, being with someone in his situation scares me sometimes. I worry about things like what if he gets deported, what if he struggles financially for years, or what if we get married someday and I end up carrying all the financial responsibilities alone. I know it’s already hard enough for him as an international student to find opportunities.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I being selfish for not wanting to co-sign?