Advice for doing my first 10-day course soon, with past trauma. Any tips on dealing with traumatic memories, panic attacks, or DPDR, etc?
Don't worry, I was extremely honest on my application form, I filled out two supplemental mental health forms, and had a phone conversation with the AT before being accepted. I am not actively struggling with my mental health right now, but I do have a history of a lot of childhood trauma, and they know I was hospitalized as a teenager (over 15 years ago now).
I have done a lot of therapy (over 17 years now) and have ample experience with observing my internal world with equanimity, from various practices like DBT, Somatic experiencing (Dr. Peter Levine), and "focusing" which is maybe less well known but it's a body-centered, experiential therapy technique developed by Eugene Gendlin that involves paying gentle, non-judgmental attention to bodily sensations—or "felt senses"—to access deeper emotional awareness and promote healing, and I use it all of the time if I feel an uncomfortable emotion rising (and it sounds similar to how people describe parts of Vipassana).
I also have done very intense psychedelic therapy with mushrooms with a really skilled therapist and have had many experiences with extremely difficult trips that brought up my worst childhood traumas and took months to integrate, but I got through them and came out better on the other side.
So I don't feel unfamiliar with my internal landscape or subconscious—I know a whole lot of what's down there and I have faced a good deal of it, and I do feel able to sit with difficult experiences (I have a quite expanded capacity with that).
I'm just nervous still because of my mental health history and what I've read now on Reddit. I wasn't as worried about have a psychotic episode or being hospitalized afterward until I read stories on here.
How worried should I be doing Vipassana with a trauma history and mental health record (even if it was 15 years ago)?
Any tips for a first-timer who is very nervous about losing their mind or being hospitalized or forever broken after my first 10-day course?