During Vipassana, I sometimes get slight twitching/spasms on my cheeks/face.Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this during meditation, and what could be the reason?
Why have people found it so easy to express their hate online? I have often found, after being online, I feel the need to meditate to cleanse the pallet so to say, but this happens in real life too. Jon Kabbat Zinn said "I meditate because my life depends on it" How destructive do you think the net is to our psyche, and is there a particular technique you use after being triggered by these situations online or in real life?
Whether doing anapanna or vipasanna , the three simultaneous tracks are 1) focus on the object, 2) brief thoughts, usually a monologue, 3) musical sound track. I can intensify 1) momentarily but the other two don’t really stop for long. I seem to cycle through noticing them. I can’t say that I lose concentration, but it’s like driving that You have attention on several things at once but unlike driving that you get lost in thought and drive unconsciously.
Any thoughts?
It's been several years since my last 10-day course and I'm now interested in returning. However, I'm emerging from a state of burnout after a period of intense work and family stress. I'm confident that I can follow the code of conduct and schedule from a psychological perspective, and I feel the container of the course and silent community is what I need right now. But I'm not sure how my body will respond physically to the long periods of sitting. In my previous courses, I was able to sit on the floor, but I know the centres can accommodate alternate sitting arrangements. Has anyone experienced physical pros/cons of a 10-day course after burnout?
How much deep do you go for body scanning? Do you focus on fouls of the body (31 body parts)? And think of yourself as dead body? Or think of different elements?
Recently I have been exploring more into Buddhism and I found, and even told by Yuval Harari, author of Sapiens that Vipassana, what we are taught is very basic and harmless version of meditation. But if one needs to go deeper, can other techniques be useful?
Because in one session in 10 days course, we had to pierce through the skins and dissolve the spinal chord also .. When can we get to know more about those? And also, any reference?
Any idea if Satipatthana course let us go even deeper into the technique? Looking for references and reviews.
I will do a self lead vipassana course for myself. I've started practicing the technique and I notice very quickly my body will naturally want to go into different positions as my breath seems to be guiding it and being breathed into different parts of my abdomen, when surrendering to the natural flow of my breath. I have breath holds sometimes too that just come naturally and then let go...
Is this all correct to allow to follow? Or should I channel the energy and not let it move me? (Neck, spine, sometimes I feel in a beautiful spiral of unfolding when just focusing on the point inbetween nose and lip that causes my abdomen to move in different ways too. It feels like a pulling of energy up that my body is wanting go orchestrate. But is this me orchestrating it thinking it is the energy, or "should" I always be 100% still. Because jt feels invuluntary- like when I do certain plant medicines. It feels right, but I want to make sure I'm following the technique properly.
Thank you 🌼
I’ve been traveling Southeast Asia for a few months now with a camera and too many thoughts.
I took an exit from my startup earlier this year. Not a dramatic one, just the kind where you finally admit the chapter is closed and you need to figure out what comes next. I bought a one-way ticket.
Months of moving. New cities, new sounds, underground music scenes, conversations with strangers, early mornings in places I couldn’t have found on a map six months ago.
I was looking for something and sometimes just looking without something. The camera helped. Having a frame around things makes the overwhelm feel intentional.
A few weeks ago I booked a Vipassana retreat in Ho Chi Min City, Vietnam.
Tomorrow is Day 0.
I’ve spent months looking outward at cities, light, other people’s stories.
For the first time in a long time I genuinely don’t know what’s going to happen to me.
I’ll report back on Day 11.
Has anyone else gone into their first Vipassana after a period of intense external stimulation. What hit you hardest?
In the last 18 months I have sat my second and third courses, and spent 3 weeks in service. My practice outside has been consistent, but for 1hr total over 2/3 sits, and not vipassana, instead only anapana.
To the latest retreat! It was a very positive experience for me - I connected with the work in a deeper and more consistent way than before, and I was able to sit adhithan consistently after the 7th day of the sit with almost no pain. This was due to greater understanding of anicca. I came to think of it more like a practice, a verb perhaps; it arises, and we can play a role in letting it pass away. I'm not sure if this is an accurate interpretation so would love to hear guidance on this.
The two instances that particularly stood out. On the 2nd day I went outside and my senses were greatly intensified; I could smell the air very clearly. Everything looked bright and sharp, and I saw a bird singing in a tree and it filled me with joy. I felt high in the best possible way. It struck me that I was experiencing bliss. What was likely happening here?
Similarly on the 5th day I noticed a physical cue, something I did with my fingers, that suggested to me a lack of presence, due to its automaticity. Realising this brought me to the most intense presence I have experienced. The footsteps in the dining hall were loud and intense, I could hear the guy to my left chewing. Also curious to hear thoughts on this experience!
Overall it was an amazing sit, but the thing I emerge with for which I am most grateful is this: no matter what happened, sitting daily and consistently is the priority.
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Today I came back from a Vipassana course feeling disturbed, ashamed, and confused, and I want to be honest about what is happening in my life.
Over the last few months, my sexual urges have become much stronger than ever before. It has been affecting my daily life badly. I’ve been masturbating multiple times a day, feeling compulsive attraction toward women, and behaving in ways that make me feel creepy and disconnected from myself. I also notice that I over-explain myself to people and often end up pushing them away instead of connecting normally.
Before coming to the center last night, I got drunk and went to a friend’s home. We had a long conversation the night before, and that led me to this course. During the course, I had intentions to focus and improve myself, but I also had disturbing thoughts that pulled me in the wrong direction. I became fixated on a woman in the hall and started reading too much into eye contact and moments of attention. I know this may have been in my head, and I’m not proud of it. I’m sharing this because I need to face it honestly instead of hiding from it.
After the course, I spoke with two people who have been practicing Vipassana for many years. They both tried to help me understand that I may be looking at my problems through the wrong lens and that my mind keeps delaying the life I want to build. That hit me hard, because I can see that now too.
I’m currently unemployed after being fired from my last job. After that, I tried to start my own company, but I realized I needed money for tools, GST, incorporation, and other setup costs. That pushed me toward thinking about getting a job again, because my parents are struggling to understand what I’m doing and they see me as jobless and wasting time.
Right now I feel like I have two major problems:
My sexual compulsions and lack of control
My career and financial instability
I’m 26, and honestly I feel like I’m starting over from zero.
For the next 90 days, I want to do this seriously:
- meditate for 2 hours daily
- follow Vipassana properly
- get a founders office job
- rebuild discipline
- stop wasting energy on lust and confusion
- become a better person and live a dharma-based life
I’m not posting this for sympathy. I’m posting because I need honest advice from people who’ve been through something similar. How do I handle compulsive sexual thoughts, mental restlessness, shame, and career uncertainty without falling apart?
If anyone has practical advice, a routine, a perspective, or even a hard truth, I would really appreciate it.
During Vipassana, as I move my attention around say putting it on a spot and waiting for sensations to come I find that I move my eyes as if to look there. It’s involuntary. I find my eyes get tired by all this darting around. In case it’s not understood, my eyes are closed during all this. Another part of this is that putting my eyes so to speak on the place where I want the sensation is especially straining so I try not to. I also find that if I want to get a sensation in a specific place I focus my attention close to it but not on it so it’s in the “peripheral vision“ of the focus of attention and that seems to be a good way to do it. So I’m asking for people to tell me their experience with this and what strategies they have for this. The eyes tend to go where the attention is and I’m wondering if it’s possible to train yourself to not have to do that. Does anybody have experience with staring straight ahead while waiting for the sensations in your naval to start? I find that’s nearly impossible to do. Can that be trained?
Hi Everyone, i wanted find the audio clips that are used in the camps for giving the new students instructions on the proper way to do vipassana and anapana , if possible for all the days.
I read somewhere these are not available for public consumption but if anyone has a source pls help me out
Don't worry, I was extremely honest on my application form, I filled out two supplemental mental health forms, and had a phone conversation with the AT before being accepted. I am not actively struggling with my mental health right now, but I do have a history of a lot of childhood trauma, and they know I was hospitalized as a teenager (over 15 years ago now).
I have done a lot of therapy (over 17 years now) and have ample experience with observing my internal world with equanimity, from various practices like DBT, Somatic experiencing (Dr. Peter Levine), and "focusing" which is maybe less well known but it's a body-centered, experiential therapy technique developed by Eugene Gendlin that involves paying gentle, non-judgmental attention to bodily sensations—or "felt senses"—to access deeper emotional awareness and promote healing, and I use it all of the time if I feel an uncomfortable emotion rising (and it sounds similar to how people describe parts of Vipassana).
I also have done very intense psychedelic therapy with mushrooms with a really skilled therapist and have had many experiences with extremely difficult trips that brought up my worst childhood traumas and took months to integrate, but I got through them and came out better on the other side.
So I don't feel unfamiliar with my internal landscape or subconscious—I know a whole lot of what's down there and I have faced a good deal of it, and I do feel able to sit with difficult experiences (I have a quite expanded capacity with that).
I'm just nervous still because of my mental health history and what I've read now on Reddit. I wasn't as worried about have a psychotic episode or being hospitalized afterward until I read stories on here.
How worried should I be doing Vipassana with a trauma history and mental health record (even if it was 15 years ago)?
Any tips for a first-timer who is very nervous about losing their mind or being hospitalized or forever broken after my first 10-day course?
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Day 0 Reference - https://www.reddit.com/r/vipassana/s/t90FeARiWu
I did one hour of Vipassana this morning, smoked 2 cigarettes although I gave my word to someone that I will not, and left from my friend’s home back to mine.
On the Rapido ride back home… I just started crying.
Not dramatic crying. Not because something happened right there.
Just silently breaking inside.
I’m sad for no reason… or maybe because for the first time I’m slowly accepting who I really am.
And that scares me more than anything.
I don’t know who to tell this to.
I don’t know who can actually understand what’s happening inside my head.
I know only one thing
probably only I can save myself now.
And that thought feels heavy.
Before leaving, old student X’s mother. she’s also a Vipassana meditator spoke to me for a long time. About influence. About my behavior. About seva. About worthiness. About how I’m affecting people with my words and actions.
The strange part is,
nothing she said was new to me.
I already know these things about myself.
I already know where I manipulate.
Where I escape.
Where I use intelligence to hide confusion.
Where lust controls me.
Where ego controls me.
Where self-pity controls me.
So I just sat there quietly, head down, listening like a loser.
And while listening to her, I kept asking myself:
“Are her words making me cry?”
Maybe not.
But something inside me cracked.
I think all my misery flashed in front of me at once.
Every wrong pattern.
Every self-destruction cycle.
Every version of me that wanted to become something great but kept sabotaging himself.
Now I’m scared.
Scared to fight alone.
Scared to rebuild my life again.
Scared that accepting myself fully may force me to kill the fake versions of me I’ve been carrying for years.
X gave me a book called Dhamma Treasures.
I read around 28 pages, then wore my headset, started listening to songs, and cried again.
Thinking about my future.
My suffering.
My plans.
My mind.
My demons.
My addictions.
My need for control.
My fear of being controlled.
My parents.
My failures.
Everything at once.
I genuinely have no clue what is happening to me right now.
And honestly…
I have no idea what I’m going to do for the next 90 days.
But somewhere deep inside, I know something has to change this time.
Because if I continue like this, I will destroy myself slowly while pretending I’m “thinking deeply.”
Maybe this is the first honest moment I’ve had with myself in years.
I did a 10-day course a decade ago but have not maintained my practice. So I have been very keen to get back to it, hoping this will finally be the year…
Sadly though I received my first rejection for a 10-day course, despite that the same center accepted my application a year ago ( I ultimately couldn’t sit that course due to a work emergency) and despite that another center had me confirmed on the waitlist for another course a few months ago (did not make it to the course in the end).
Nothing changed in my application or life over the last year, except honestly good developments, like that I stopped drinking for half a year and now barely drink alcohol, and that I started practicing anapana daily.
The reason for rejection: I disclosed that I self-diagnosed as having had depression four years ago (had suicidal thoughts in passing at the time), and have felt better since then, but that I still suffer from anxiety that sometimes disrupts my sleep and that I lack some motivation at work. Never actually diagnosed, never on medication, never had a mental health episode. And unironically I do great at work.
The conclusion: don’t apply for two years and we will keep a record of the rejection, and continue talk therapy.
Maybe I should’ve been more careful in how I expressed things in my application, or I exaggerated or something? But why would I be rejected this time despite being accepted before?
I’m genuinely shocked- I didn’t expect this especially because I am doing as good as ever these years, and have no doubt I would do well in the course.
Should I call them, or should I just reapply elsewhere?
Veerabhadra being born from Shiva made me feel that he is nothing but a samskara given form — a manifested trait or force created from consciousness itself. And maybe many stories mentioned in our Itihaasas are symbolic representations of traits: how they are born, how they grow, and how they dissolve (evaporate). Even Daksha regenerating his daughters feels symbolic of traits continuously reproducing themselves within consciousness.
After Vipassana, I suddenly started feeling like we are all samskaras of the Supreme. I feel like people are just bodies with samskaras embodied within them. I see the same traits repeating in different people, and the way they use those traits is what makes them unique — that becomes their personality. And maybe an enlightened being is someone who knows how to observe and control all these traits consciously.
In Vipassana, we observe samskaras, and if we react to them, they multiply. But if we simply accept and observe them without reaction, they rise to the surface and dissolve. Similarly, I started feeling that this is how our body and consciousness work too. If we get attached to the traits of this body and mind, then we continue the cycle of rebirth. We keep multiplying ourselves through reproduction, and our traits also continue multiplying through generations.
Now I feel like I can understand the idea of Pitru Dosha differently. Maybe we are nothing but the unresolved traits and aversions carried through the consciousness of our ancestors. So in a way, I feel like I am my ancestor continuing in another body and how we are carrying all our pitru(family traits)
And if we fully accept the traits present within our consciousness, maybe they too can dissolve just like samskaras dissolve in Vipassana. Maybe that is what liberation means — dissolving back into the Supreme instead of multiplying again into another form, another loka, or another existence.
Our bodily samskaras need a calm consciousness without thoughts to become visible. Only then can we truly feel and eradicate them. Similarly, maybe the Supreme Consciousness also expresses itself through samskaras that choose their own paths of manifestation.
I also started thinking about neuroscience. Neuron connections become stronger whenever thoughts are repeatedly fed into them. One thought creates more neural pathways, and those pathways keep multiplying through repetition. Similarly, I feel like beings are also born because consciousness keeps feeding certain tendencies and attachments. In the brain, a wire is attached to the neuron. Here, a body is attached to consciousness.
After Vipassana, I suddenly have an intense urge to learn everything — spirituality, science, consciousness, the Vedas, the mind, existence, all of it. I feel like if consciousness continues or multiplies in some way, then filling it with wisdom may help it evolve rather than remain trapped in materialistic traits and attachments.
And now I strongly feel the urge to find a Guru — someone who can answer these questions and teach me the deeper meanings behind the Vedas, consciousness, samskaras, and existence itself.
I saw a text on Google saying that people who practice Vipassana daily for a long time have a lot of difficulty lying and making up stories. Could someone explain to me if that’s really the case? I really need to know everything about it
I've done one 10day retreat, I want to go again but thought it would be nice to listen to the sound of waves while meditating:)))
I’m looking forward to my third course next week, but have had some sports injuries recently. My knee gave a few weeks ago, but I can still sit for meditation for an hour. This week however I sprained my hip and it’s really painful, bending down is excruciating.
I’m worried about being able to manage the pain and hearing the teacher tell me these are sankharas.
Should I tell the centre now already and request a chair, and would I need a doctor’s note for this? Or would it better to wait until it’s better to sit a course?
Has anyone else noticed that once you stop practicing for 1-2 days - the old negative thoughts and feelings start coming back?
Made me wonder whether Vipassana is sort of acting as a lid rather than processing anything at a root level ... which is the entire claim.