I have never had a great relationship with my family. I am the youngest of 6 from my mom, 5 from my dad. My mom and dad only share me and my older sister biologically. We moved states 12 years ago when I was 10. Fast forward to now. I found out earlier this year that my dad has been cheating on my mother for about 2 years through his text messages (he’s older and left the messages open on his phone). Shortly after finding that out, he had a stroke in January of this year, and has lost most mobility in his left side. He has been going to rehab and at one point was in a nursing home rehabilitation facility but had to leave due to insurance no longer accepting him there. With him being home and it only being me, my mom, and my sister and her boyfriend to care of him, it has been rough. We all live together along with my sisters two young children. I will say I didn’t do my part with my dad in the beginning of him coming home because I found out he was STILL cheating on my mom even after the stroke when we were all taking care of him. After I talked to him and forgave him and begged him to make it right with my mother. So I held resentment and I backed off completely. This led to my sister losing her mind at me and I understood her reasoning just not her insults that came with it. Shortly after his stroke (almost a month later) I found out I am pregnant. I am high risk due to health issues in the past with my fertility. This pregnancy has taken a toll on me also due to issues with my child’s father which is a different story. I have been dealing with depression as well. A lot going on here. So my sister goes off on me one day about not helping with our dad and of course I apologize, but then she branches off into insults which is how the conversation started. She talked about how I am going to be a mother and made slick comments about it, talked about how I was “disrespectful” as a CHILD. Just went off the rails with all insults. I didn’t speak on that and tried to be the bigger person and apologize and step in to help out. She went on a long silent treatment stance towards me and my mother who she thought also could help more. She began talking to my mother again but not me. I would always hear her on the phone with our other siblings who live out of state talking crap about me (this is nothing new, has been happening for years and is a big reason why I don’t have a relationship with them because I feel like everyone hates me due to the things she says about me to them). We have always had our issues and I have been standoffish with her since I was 16 and she swung on me and started a fight with me. Fast forward I end up crying to my mom due to some worrying test results I got back about my unborn baby and she overhears this so she steps in and tries to comfort me and be nice. It was nice I appreciated it but all of a sudden that wave is gone and she’s back to giving me the silent treatment and doing the phone calls.
I want to take the leap and move out, I only have not done it yet because I don’t want to leave my dads care on everyone else and be a bad person, but my mental health is tanking. I cannot take the smart comments, the phone calls blatantly loud and or in front of me talking down on me, and the overall tension in this house. I am worried for my mental health and of course for my child’s wellbeing also. I have not been sleeping much at all due to all issues mentioned. I bought a new phone that no one knows about, and I am ready to change phone plans (I am on a plan with my whole family) to change my number and ghost everyone. I am not sure if that is a step I should take or if I am just feeling the heat of the moments I’m here. What I can say is that it has been on my mind for weeks. I have given up all hope on having any sort of relationship with all of my family (with the exception of my mother) and I truly want to feel okay again. It’s been two years of constant stress and one year of my depression diagnosis, and most of my issues are related to my family. But I know once I do this there will be harsh judgement from everyone (hence me changing phones/plans/numbers so no one can contact me and harass me - that is the only real time I hear from some of the rest of my siblings is when she goes to them and tells them her side of the story story and they try to attack me on her behalf) and im not sure if i should do that and risk ruining what little I have left of a chance at family here. If you’ve gone no contact with your family, did you end up regretting it or did it work out? And given the circumstances with my dad, should I wait until he is fully recovered and walking on his own again? Please give advice.
TLDR: I am having issues among my household during pregnancy/ my dad’s stroke recovery and am thinking about moving out and going no contact with my family. Is it worth it or should I try to move on and work with them?