Am I a ultra closeted trans or am I just into the idea of being trans?
So i'm fairly older like late 20's. I've never dressed up or wear makeup though I've had dreams of being a woman ever since I was 12. Like actual dreams of being a pregnant woman with my mountain man boyfriend. Anyway I don't think im trans because I've never fully accepted the idea im the wrong gender. Like i'm very young looking people say I look like a super young adult. So maybe I can still pull off more femboy look or maybe a twink. I watched the TV glows about 10 times and everytime i watch it. I feel oddly enamored by the plot. Like someone who refused to turn into themselves but are begging to come out. I had a very mean conservative dad growing up who was definitely a repressed gay man at one point in his life. Ive repressed alot of my identity growing up. Like I always knew I liked boys and girls but never got into a real relationship until I was 26. Like there is alot of things im discovering like not only do I like men. Im attracted to really tall men. It's probably cause im only 5ft 10in on a good day. Not only that im attracted to slightly chubby men. I feel weird typing this out because my girlfriend thinks im an egg cause I've asked very certain questions to her about gender. Im genuinely unsure if im a egg. Cause I remember at one point when I was 23 that one of my coworkers asked another coworker if maybe I was Trans? Then the other coworker said that I would make a very ugly woman so that day I sorta died inside and decided maybe im just a guy.