follow-up post
to my last post, about worrying having both bpd and npd, this is my follow up to the last post
i appreciate everyone who responded with their own stories and advice. i did get a couple weird DMs, but overall it was astoundingly more supportive and helpful than i has anticipated. i expected to be thrown to the curb, tomatoed, and stomped on, yelled at, etc. for daring to think i have NPD and BPD (pick a lane, buddy LOL)
i have basically had confirmation from everyone who ACTUALLY knows me saying: yeah, dude, you have npd and bpd. including my own dad? (“you dont hide splitting very well” wow thanks dad) very odd feelings about that, considering for so long he was convinced i couldnt have any disorder.
its been so difficult accepting this part of me ive had hidden and masked for years, but, im finally starting to live with it. im able to open up about my more… unsavory, tendencies with narcissism.
its been a hell of a rollercoaster, will continue to be, and always has been. i’ll feel like everyone hates me and wants me dead, to feeling on top of the world, but despite either feeling, i still feel “superior” to those around me. disgusting, i know.
i hope i can figure out how to balance both my narcissism and my borderline aspects. its been really rough. i hope someone finds this post useful in their own journey.
i want to look into NPD treatment because i really just… want to feel better.
p.s to anyone else who read this far, i have a question
do you have an “FP”/chosen person who you obsess over? even though its been years? i have an ex-best friend who ive been obsessed with even after we cut contact in jan 2025. even though we are no-contact for years, i cant help but fall back into obsessing over him when i feel like shit