What do you think, what new aspects could be introduced to NPD in the DSM-6?

Based on any research article you read, or even opinions.

What could be new? What could be changed?

not just snarky comments but straight up rude comments with no filter to put others down so you feel better about yourself.

i self project a lot, if i see someone who does something i’m annoyed of, but i also do that same exact thing, i feel the need to point it out and put them down for it because my insecurity is insane. yes i know, my self awareness is also insane lol.

i simply do my best to keep my mouth shut but its very hard. i feel this ‘something’ building up in me that feels like its gonna explode if i dont say anything. i am currently under medication thats stabilizes my mood and reduces agitation but its at low dosage for now. other than this, i dont know what to do honestly. i don’t wanna hurt others because i know i’ll end up losing people again.

its hard being a recovering narc when everyone around you is constantly triggering you to relapse and be an asshole again

I used to be such a social justice warrior about things but since collapsing I feel completely apathetic and I'm starting to think I never cared and that I simply liked feeling morally superior and having the "correct" view on things. It's so gross to me but that's how it feels because I don't have the fervent passion for humanity I thought I did

I’ve never been diagnosed with NPD, or even considered struggling with it, but I was referred to this subreddit.

Over the last couple years, I've questioned whether I have avoidant attachment. I lose romantic interest in people awfully fast, and it's unexplainable. I go from being infatuated with them to being disgusted by the thought of them.

After researching avoidant attachment, I found it's common in children who dealt with emotional neglect at home. While my parents didn't say "I love you," which isn't typical in immigrant households like mine, they were still emotionally available. My mother especially, since I talked to her about my problems often, and still do with ease.

So avoidant attachment didn't make sense for me. Around the same time, I realized I liked a girl for the first time in my life. I attributed my lack of interest in the men I'd talked to before to being a closeted lesbian. Yet the same pattern happened with her: I lost feelings incredibly fast.

The second people, men or women, stop stimulating me, I lose interest and become disgusted by the idea of them.

Its been 3 years since I was put on my first antidepressant (ssri) and have been put on distinct doses and medications since. I was on fluvoxamine for the longest time until recently, when I was switched up to clomipramine. I haven’t quite liked how I feel being on clonil. Yes, both medications are used to treat streamline OCD symptoms, though I have expressed consistent aversion to treatment since my ocd is co morbid to my npd and is hence ego-syntonic. My psychiatrists always ruled this out, often stating I have no insight on my OC symptoms which in turn has pissed me off a great deal. I honestly have no intrusive thoughts that justify my compulsions. Its always just been a necessity to me, being perfect. Im what you’d call a CLEAN FREAK and honestly? I own that tag. Ive never wanted to change and I doubt I ever will. I know my lifestyle isnt the most typical thing out there and its rather pesky to others, being a compulsive clean freak but I DONT THINK ITS THAT BIG A DEAL. I have started to become avert to my medications since nothing’s essentially changed about any of my symptoms in the last 3 years. Ive been depressed my entire life and that hasnt changed even while being medicated. Being on medications has changed me physically. I look weaker, more frail with eye bags even though my lifestyle is the exact same as before the meds. My face gives it away now, that Im disheveled. Ive started hating the way I look and given my npd and how much my appearance matters to me, I’m losing it.

Have a question about narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits? Welcome to the bi-weekly post for non-narcs to ask us anything! We’re here to help destigmatize the myths surrounding NPD and narcissism in general.

Some rules:

Non narcs: please refrain from armchair diagnosing people in your life. Only refer to them as NPD if they were actually diagnosed by an unbiased licensed professional (aka not your own therapist or an internet therapist that you think fits the description of the person you’re accusing of being a narcissist)*
* This is not a post for non-narcs or narcs to be abusive towards anyone. Please report any comments or questions that are not made in good faith.
* This is not a place to ask if your ex/mom/friend/boss/dog is a narcissist.
* This is not a place to ask if you yourself are a narcissist.

Thanks! Let’s all be civil and take some more baby steps towards fighting stigma and increasing awareness.

This thread will be locked after two weeks and you can find the new one by searching the sub via the “Ask a Narc” flair

~ Invis ✨ & Mod Team

I'm interested to know, if you could describe your ideal relationship on paper, what would it be?

Doesn't have to be reasonable, just your ideal scenario.

I've accepted I don't attach to people much, so if I settle down it'll be for convenience... Cos the probability of me attaching to someone who attaches to me back is low

But then I realised that my version of a convienient relationship is completely unreasonable

E.g. They should meet the following criteria:

- They adore me

- They fund my passion projects

- They are smart and engage with my weird ideas/whims

- They don't want sex with me and let me sleep with other people

- They're presentable for public events (I.e. not unfortunate looking, can hold conversations with a range of people, won't do anything embarrassing)

- Preferably we live in separate houses

- They can have one allocated "emotional support slot" a week and be happy with that

Like who, with any self-respect, would accept that?

I guess I just want to know if anyone else has unrealistic relationship fantasies?

The question summarises it.

Do you have any?

Does the fact that you have NPD and you/we are doomed in society is telling you to end it?

Basically what the title says. I really can't imagine that happening. Maybe it's just me though

All relationships I was in were toxic. Manipulating, arguing, even some light abuse. And honestly? I liked it. When someone treats me perfectly, I seem to get bored and leave

(part two to “where my golden children at”)

i know yall are out there, reveal yourself !

(i am actively trying to heal after almost breaking up with my partner who i love)

I get extremely attached very quickly, or at least; I start idealizing them. They become the center of my mind/life. Even though the actual relationship isnt always that good. I can think they’re not smart enough, dont get me. But still they’re in my mind like a life line.
They tend not to like me very much because I am too clingy, critical and demanding.
So annoying, cause it always ends in disappointment and I don’t get anything out of therapy this way. I’m just using them as a way to feel better in the moment by idealizing. Not to actually make contact with them and my feelings. I want to, but it feels like I never get to feel safe enough to endure their boundaries and shortcomings. AND al the little disappointments I get during interactions.

I know this is one of the biggest curses of this condition but I genuinely wonder if there's a way, some kind of therapy that allows me to open myself and get vulnerable without the hippie talk shit.

I'm finally considering taking therapy seriously but I just get repulsed every time I see anything related to nervous system healing, or anything that tells me uwu be kind and gentle to yourself uwu I feel like jumping off a cliff.

Also, I see so many posts about wanting to be a "better person" but I honestly don't care about it, I just want to BE A PERSON. Is there a way to build some sense of self and real self esteem without being obsessed about being a good person? Idk, everything seems so dull and pointless right now.

I can’t pull myself together and I’m too afraid to go anywhere because the eyes of the public terrify me. I pretty much think I’m the center of the universe and whenever I feel like I made myself look bad when interacting with others it makes me so suicidal. If I don’t immediately have a good reason to think that someone new will have a positive perception of me it makes me break down. So I just try to avoid them. They say exposure helps or whatever but every time I’ve had to go out in public recently I cried afterwards for several minutes if I acted or looked even a little bit off. Does anyone know how to get over the feeling of being horrified that everyone around you doesn’t see you as the prettiest most amazing person ever

I know that I should be more understanding because it's the WEATHER'S fault and not the person I'm hanging out with. But the entitled, narcissistic bitch in me keeps telling me that if this person truly cared about me, they'd make it out to see me regardless of the fucking rain. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT BAD OUTSIDE. I used to live in a country where you couldn't even go home sometimes because of the floods, but in this fancy first world country, I wouldn't complain.

Regardless of that, I'm just having a hard time not being angry about this shit. I really like this person as a friend and even started love bombing -- WHICH I NEVER DO -- and I would hate to get that itch I get when I feel like discard is the only option. I mean, I'm currently not fixing to do that right now, but I'm already thinking of this as strike one when I know it is unreasonable to feel this way.

On top of that, she's just been really dry and slow to respond with me in chat, so I'm concerned that I might actually be right in assuming she doesn't need me anymore. It'd be one thing if she was busy, but being dry and ghosting me sometimes when I'm super fucking nice? I don't know what to think.

I kind of regret getting that gift I have for her now too like what the fuck. Wasted money on her for no reason.

i’ve been told by a lot of people that i always have somethjng negative ti say in response to something positive they’re trying to say to make me feel better, and it ends up making them feel like it doesn’t even matter that they’re trying to help me. i don’t want to be like this but i genuinely don’t know how to remind myself not to do this because i don’t recognize it when im happening. how can i change this habit?

Maybe hate is a too strong word. But yeah. I have friends, lots of them actually. Most of them are completely indifferent to me. I only care, in a way, about the closest ones. But I care because them being in my life is useful to me. I'd be very bored if I was alone, so I need to keep them around. Secretly, I don't even like them

I don't even know why I'm writing this. Just needed to get it out of my chest I guess

I’m wondering if anyone recognises this.
When I really start wanting something from someone emotionally, attention, reassurance, feeling special to them, feeling understood , it becomes unbearable to tolerate not getting it.

, I can become angry, demanding and very critical when the other person doesn’t give me what I so desperately need. I can start devaluing them and thinking I don’t need them anyway.
Afterwards I feel ashamed, because I can see how entitled and unreasonable it sounds. The strange thing is that while I’m in it, my feelings make complete sense to me. It almost feels like: “But I need this so badly, how can you not give it to me?”
Please Tell me I’m not the only One. 😬