u/Accomplished-Most60

Recently discovered NPD… 5 years into adulthood exes are settling down getting married and friends moving on to grad schools and new careers while I’m here. Struggling unemployed living on parents money…

It has been a year of very intense self reckoning and I am pretty sure I am at the end of the road now. This is a transformative experience for me.

Some learnings:

1. You can't escape the hard days. You need to go through the process of being obsessed with the person, thinking of them all the time. You cannot escape it.
2. It is a negotiation with yourself, not them. You will realise what is being triggered is always internal, not external. It has nothing to do with them, but usually deep seated issues within.
3. You will go through the process of ego death, where price and vanity no longer matters, and you will be more authentic and genuine.
4. You will reach a point where you will have zero desire for them to stay in your life, hearing from them will be an annoyance.
5. You will learn to draw a hard boundary. The end if the line.

For those new on this journey, hang in there! It has thought me so so much. And thank you to this community for all your support.

It has been a year of very intense self reckoning and I am pretty sure I am at the end of the road now. This is a transformative experience for me.

Some learnings:

1. You can't escape the hard days. You need to go through the process of being obsessed with the person, thinking of them all the time. You cannot escape it.
2. It is a negotiation with yourself, not them. You will realise what is being triggered is always internal, not external. It has nothing to do with them, but usually deep seated issues within.
3. You will go through the process of ego death, where price and vanity no longer matters, and you will be more authentic and genuine.
4. You will reach a point where you will have zero desire for them to stay in your life, hearing from them will be an annoyance.
5. You will learn to draw a hard boundary. The end if the line.

For those new on this journey, hang in there! It has thought me so so much. And thank you to this community for all your support.

I have close female friends and always ended up sleeping with them and always ruining things. They always stay. I am going to designate a no fuck zone for my close friends from now. Good idea? No shitting where you're eating

Yes we do think of you and feel guilt deep down. But this will not stop avoidants from sleeping around. I will also never take my ex back. I cheated too. Be gentle with yourselves. They're not worth it. Move on.

While having sex he would say:

1. you are mine
2. I just want to ruin you
3. tell me you love me even if you don’t mean it

He also bites me everywhere

I really like him but when he’s in bed he’s like a different person. Super intense and possessive. Are these red flags?

Not looking but I want to get a sense. I’m single but none of the girls I dated seems to love the voidz…

If you’re currently working at Palantir as a FDS/ recently gone through the FDS interview process (decomp, learning) - regardless of successful of not, just need a screenshot proof - please DM me. I am willing to pay $50 per prep session for your time. Thanks!

…and you just want to rip your skin off in the shower where you cry uncontrollably after a gym session because you realise she's fucking much fitter gym bros. Step up! And be strong and reinvent yourself. This is how iron are forged.

Moving on from an FA who really fked me up. Avoidant are good at keeping a mystery and keeping hard to get because beneath their shiny glossy exterior (very good at pretending) it's an empty void. They are deeply insecure and inadequate inside. Yet they have high standards and crave for a love of their life. But before they hit their internal target of their confident self image (may never happen) they doubt their current self is worthy of attracting that made. So when they meet someone they really like they pretend to be the other person’s ideal. I realised this. I am an avoidant fixing myself and realised I would have never settled for this bullshit if I personally was secure and confident of myself. Have some standards. Crawling back to someone who repeatedly disrespected you says a lot about your own self worth! Stay strong

I am going through a (re-)break up and I performed a ending a love spell… but it's not working. It worked briefly thay night but now I ended up thinking of her more… what's going on please help. Am I under some spell from her? She told me explicitly not to contact her anymore…

We were meant to meet up after 6 months and she tentatively agreed. But I got cold feet and sent a long emotional letter saying I still love her but we can never be together. She now told me to stop contacting her and that it's over. I now really regret what I did. Thoughts?

I got dumped by an avoidant (F). I then started slowly reaching out after close to half a year of no contact with soft carefully drafted love letters which accumulates in her agreeing to meet. Days before I wrote to her I can't meet her and we should not speak again. Can you out avoidant an avoidant??

I broke up with him close to half a year ago as he was always travelling and flirting with all the girls. He just walked away. I begged for him to come back. He did and we had sex. And I felt really anxious afterwards and I cheated and broke up with him again. Six month later he started writing really sweet and thoughtful love letters to me just to say he still loves me but doesn't want to even see me. What game is he playing?

I'm a tall (6ft) and lean man recently started hitting the gym to improve attraction. I used to have long sleek back hair. Today I had a hair cut to make them short like a cool guy in a magazine I saw. And immediately I got checked out at the gym and the life guard was eye fucking me. Small changes can have immediate effects. I just need to get super shredded.