u/mooncake0503

For clarification; they‘re autistic and don‘t mean anything by those things, but it‘s getting harder for me to cope.

My friend and I share a lot of things, circumstances and hobbies, but we almost never agree on something. They think my taste in stuff is sometimes off or weird and i think that about their taste as well - the only difference is that i don‘t say that out loud but they do.

And it‘s never with any bad intent but this light hearted banter ist started to poke a wound in me that is opening up again and i don‘t know for how long i‘m gonna be able to cope before i‘ll snap.

It‘s just those side comments. Today i showed them a card i pulled in Pokémon that i‘ve been chasing for a while. „Oh well i don‘t really understand that but i‘m happy for you“ (meaning they don‘t understand why i would chase that card bc they don‘t think it‘s chase-worthy)

A couple days ago i vented to them about some tiktok discourse i partook in and that really infuriated me and they said „I find it kinda funny how you‘re getting so worked up about this“

I know that this has to do with my ego being so fragile that i can‘t handle these small things but i‘m just getting more and more agitated about this and i‘m feeling anger bubble up inside of me and i don‘t want to ruin this friendship, but i also don‘t know how to solve this problem

So i‘ve been diagnosed with POTS, LC and MECFS but i‘m thinking about getting MCAS checked out as well.

In June there was a huge heatwave where i live and it pushed me into a really, really bad crash. Normally when i‘m in PEM i‘ll just sit it out for a few days or weeks and it‘s okay, but this time it‘s just different and my symptoms are far off my normal ones.

It doesn‘t matter how long i rest or if i‘ll have 2 kinda good days, the adrenaline just comes back on day 3 and the cycle continues. This has been going on for 1.5 months now. My stress never really comes down, even whilst i‘m sleeping there‘ll be massive adrenaline dumps throughout the hours. I‘m also super nauseous all the time and react to food that i normally don‘t react to. Sweating, cold hands and feet, diarreah when i‘m normally leaning to constapation and the buzzing inside plus kinda blurry vision? This has never happened before.

Does this sound like an MCAS flareup? I‘m sorry if i‘m intruding here, i just don‘t know what to do and i‘m kinda scared of worsening

I've been connecting with a new friend pretty intensely at the moment over specific chronic illness-topics and stuff and even though i really like them and also enjoy just being able to relate to someone, i'm having a real hard time with being compassionate when they‘re venting out their frustration whilst crying.

Crying being the main problem point here. Being chronically ill is very hard living in this capitalistic hell hole, i know that and i don‘t mind them discussing this but i feel myself getting increasingly annoyed when they‘re crying. Because it‘s just every other day and i don‘t really know how to react.

It‘s getting pretty taxing to mask when they‘re crying. Like i care about them, i don‘t want them to feel all of these terrible feelings, but i just wish they wouldn‘t cry so much. Or that i could have normal feelings about this rather than being annoyed or feeling contempt ;—; Free me