u/PlasticBird639

How did you know the difference?

I am diagnosed with NPD. I occasionally talk about it publicly online. And under every single video, there is at least one person saying, "you probably have HPD. People with NPD can't have this much self awareness."
Obviously, that's bullshit. Just take a glance at this sub.
But during my last attention deficit, it felt like I was going to die if I couldn't get someone to pay attention to / praise me. And it made me wonder how people even tell the difference if they're both heavily rooted in a need for attention. I don't know too much about HPD, but I think some of the comments claiming I had it got to my head. IDK.

How did you guys end up differentiating it?

Does anyone else do this?

I am not technically good person. I know I'm not. But I feel like I cosplay one pretty well and continue to do so for the praise it gets me.

I am known as a morally upstanding person. I volunteer, I speak up about social issues and spread awareness, I help those in need, etc etc. But it's mostly cause now, I am superior to those who stayed silent. I am superior to those who do not do the things I do. I am simply better, and I brag and brag until the person seems ashamed of their lack of good deeds. Even though I'm not even mostly doing it out of the goodness of my heart.

I always take accountability when I'm wrong, because I now look better than those who don't. I think I am always right or justified regardless. But I will still take accountability and apologize, showing growth and blah blah blah cause look at me look how emotionally mature I am.
The average person, narcissistic or not, has problems admitting when they're wrong. So, I do the opposite and look greater in comparison. I am always told about how emotionally mature I am to be able to easily accept my wrongdoings, and I love it. I am great at making apologies sound sincere and genuine.
This also allows me to deflect accountability and turn it into the other person when I do something more extreme that I don't wanna admit wrongdoing to. Cause I take accountability all of the time-- I must be in the right because I always admit when I'm wrong.

Despite being a quietly judgmental person, I will go and degrade / embarrass someone for being openly judgmental. Something I often say is "Oh. Well, I'm too important to care about what others do with their lives but that's not everyone I guess," which quickly shuts people up.
I am incredibly outspoken and grandiose, so doing all of this stuff keeps the admiration on me and makes others look inferior. It also gives me the power to influence others.

I think my sense of superiority drives me to do good things desire not having good intentions. Which is why I say I am technically not a good person. If these things did not get me praise and admiration, I do not believe I would do them.
I'm not doing good stuff all of the time, obviously. When I feel envious of someone, I still subtly degrade them. Or ruin their reputation using my good record as leverage. I still use people until they stop benefitting me. I still enjoy making people feel small in comparison. I still emotionally fuck with my friends if I feel too bored. Etc. Etc.

I was just wondering if anyone else's intense sense of superiority is also a driving factor for good deeds.
If so, what are some of the things it's driven you to do?