u/BeneficialLack8818

Feel free to creep on the last couple posts, but in short, my ex tried to tell me and our daughter to move out months ago, but then we worked it out from what thought. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago and he’s complaining about me “slamming dishes” at 830 am when I’m just trying to have them done before I go to bed, he won’t do them, and he wouldn’t let me use the dishwasher. (I work 6p-6a) He hardly ever helps with our daughter so I was feeling uncomfortable and unappreciated. There’s so many other issues in between and no relationship is perfect, but I just saw no progress or longevity. Anyway, I used the dishwasher and then a slew of other things happened which let me to the decision to break up with him.

My mother suggested that my daughter and I keep the apartment so she is not uprooted once again (we moved several times to be closer to him, and once evicted because he refused to pay child support until it was court ordered- which took about 8 months to finally settle) I thought this was a great idea but knew he’d never go for it because he’s selfish. I also know that he told me he can’t afford the rent on his own, so if we were to move out, how is he going to pay for the two bedroom? And a roommate is out of the question since the other bedroom belongs to our daughter. The only factor I really hadn’t thought of until now is that he already has another woman lined up to take my place and split the bill. He also told me he’d be temporally moving in with his brother, so this seemed like the best time to pitch it to him. If you don’t ask, then answer is always no, right?

So I say “it was suggested to me that we stay in this apartment so our kid isn’t uprooted again”. He says he’s going to sell his music equipment in order to keep his apartment and he doesn’t want us to move out. But if I’m sleeping on the couch every night, why would I want to stay? And why should our daughter have to move again?? Also, how is selling music equipment sustainable income? Regardless, he said no. Ok.

Come today and he’s getting a nasty attitude with me because I asked if he could wait on starting his meal because I was almost done cooking, and he was dealing with raw chicken. Huge cross contamination issue especially if you’ve seen this man wash anything. He tells me he only considered marrying me because of our daughter, no one else would want me, and blah blah blah. (I know my worth so I’m not falling for his lame words trying to hurt my feelings) He then threatens to take away my use of the car which I literally only use to get to work on overnights, when he’s NOT using it, and I fill up the tank. So what felt like was coming next was him threatening to throw us out again. So I started googling what my rights are.

Come to find out, because I am the primary custodial parent, I can be granted exclusive rights to the apartment through the court because it’s in my child’s best interest. (Just like I had said before) I am not listed on the lease, but from what I’m reading, that is not a factor in my state. So, I’ve contacted a lawyer to see costs and what exactly my legal recourse is. I’m thinking about telling him that I don’t want to involve the courts again, and we could just do this peacefully, but the other side of me is thinking I should just do all of this silently.

So AITAH for asking my ex to move out?

My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year. I work overnights (6pm to 6am) and he works from 10am to 5pm. We have a child together that is in grade school, but young enough to still need help with the morning routine and getting to the bus stop. I come home from work and get our kid ready and pack lunch etc. sometimes there’s dishes from the night before, sometimes there’s dishes from what I packed for lunch or my breakfast. I like to get the dishes done before I go to bed so I can wake up to a clean kitchen and get dinner started before our kid gets home.

I feel like 830 is a reasonable time to do the dishes especially because he goes to work within an hour or so of me doing them. And 830 am is generally a time when adults are awake unless they work graveyard shift like I do. He says I purposely do the dishes and slam dishes “early in the morning” but I’m as quiet as I can possibly be. He refuses for us to use the dishwasher so that’s not an option. I’m all about compromise, but I’m also on a schedule when it comes to cooking and getting homework bed time routines done and that requires me to have dinner done at a specific time unless I’m working. Although sometimes I’m still cooking when I have to work. It’s not like it’s 5am and I’m doing dishes.

The sun is out and most adults in their mid thirties with children are up and about at 830. He won’t do the dishes for me in the morning when he wakes up before heading out to work to alleviate this issue either. So. AITAH for doing dishes at 830am?