My partner stepmother seem to completely disregard me
For quick context, my partner (26m) and I (27f) have only known my partners stepmom for the same amount of time, roughly 2 years now. Him and I have been together for about 7 year. She doesn’t speak our language, and we don’t speak hers, so there really hasn’t been much connecting or conversation between us.
The first interactions we had with her were before we even met her. My partner and I were planning to rent a house with his dad, her, and her 2 kids. Times were rough for us all so we figured it would be a good idea, however it never happened (thankfully). She was not working much and would only be able to contribute $600 towards rent, but was unsatisfied with every house we found, whether it was the neighborhood, the house was too close to a Main Street, she didn’t like the layout, etc. Mind you, we would all be paying about $1000 each, while she would only pay $600, so my partner and I had issue with how much she controlled the decision.
Fast forward a few months after this, we both meet her. She doesn’t really acknowledge me but uses my partners dad to translate to my partner to engage in conversation with him. I found it weird but that’s his son, so understandable, however, as time went on she just kinda…. didn’t really acknowledge me? Would only really say hi to my partner, or would pass him plates of food, ask my dad to offer him things to drink. The first time she actually tried talking to me was when she used my partners grandma to ask me if I wanted to buy things off of a website by using of link of hers? (she would get commission for it) it just rubbed me the wrong way because… what the fuck? lol. I pointed all this out to my partner eventually and he started to notice but doesn’t want to stir up anything. He’s told his dad before that she seems to be a bit rude to me but his dad brushed it off as a “female thing”???
Anyway, his dad, wife and 2 kids moved into the grandmas house recently, so we see them way more often now. On Saturday, she was passing giving us sandwiches that his grandma made, one by one. First, his dad (her husband), then my partner, and then…… my partner again. Like quite literally… gave him two plates of food… while I was sitting right next to him. He looked at her and asked if it was supposed to be for me and she said… for whoever.. either of you… idk. It seems so petty and small, but with everything else on top of it, it was just the most obvious way of saying “I don’t acknowledge you” idk what to so. I don’t feel like it’s my place to say anything, and I also don’t know if others would view this as intentional disrespect.
**EDIT**
She’s Hispanic, so am I, and so is my partners grandma. I didn’t grow up with the pressure of having to serve men, but to my understanding, you typically serve your partner. Even then, my partners grandma serves EVERYONE. It just doesn’t feel cultural to me, idk. She is also younger. About 8 years older than my partner and I.