AITA for not going to my friend´s graduation party?
So I (20´s F) was invited to my friend’s (20´s F) graduation party tonight. Her actual graduation ceremony happened a few weeks ago (I wasn’t invited, but I assumed it was because of guest limits).
Originally, a bunch of our friends were supposed to go but over time most of them cancelled because of work and she uninvited another friend after they had a fight, so I was basically the only close friend attending besides her family and boyfriend. Some classmates would also be there but mostly with their own families and friends.
I was genuinely excited to go. I even helped pay for extra alcohol for the party and last night we FaceTimed talking about outfits and getting drunk together.
But today I had a complete mental breakdown...I’m currently going through the process of applying to a master’s program and this morning I took an exam which I failed. Even though I still have other exams left, failing this one could seriously hurt my chances of getting accepted.
I’ve barely slept all week because I was studying constantly. After the exam I took a short nap and then spent most of the day crying. I couldn’t eat because of anxiety and when I tried to shower and calm down I ended up having a panic attack. I was crying on and off for hours and genuinely couldn’t get myself together enough to go out.
So I texted my friend explaining that I was having a mental health crisis because of the exam and that I was really sorry but I genuinely couldn’t make it. I also offered to make it up to her by taking her out to lunch to celebrate her and paying for my spot at the party.
She got really upset and told me I was selfish and inconsiderate for cancelling last minute. She said I should’ve told her days earlier so she could’ve invited someone else instead.
I honestly feel terrible. I understand why she’s upset and I know cancelling last minute sucks. At the same time, I genuinely didn’t know I was going to spiral this badly today. I really want to fix this and don´t know how to.
My boyfriend and some friends think I’m not the AH because a mental health crisis isn´t predictable, but I still feel very guilty and feel like I ruined an important night for her.
AITA?