I invited two friends (let’s call them Jack(m21) and Wendy(f25)) out for karaoke. Wendy and I were there for a bit before Jack turned up to the bar. We all sang some songs and had just the right amount to drink. At closing time, I suggested we all go back to Jack’s to watch some tv. He happily agrees.
We get there and get settled in, and at around 1:30am we all plop down on the couch and put on the show. I’m sat in the middle between Jack and Wendy, we’re sharing a smoke. Jack grabs two blankets, passes Wendy one and throws the larger of the two over he and I. I feel his hand slip down next to my thigh, it doesn’t seem like a motivated movement, I just assumed it’s because of how snuggled we were on the couch that touch was bound to happen. Then the touch changes, I feel him start playing with the threading of my tights. I’m leaning against him, at the time I would’ve said it’s because I was cold but that is a lie, I enjoyed the closeness.
Wendy is definitely a bit drunker than both of us and decides to make us some food. So it’s just Jack and I alone. I relax against him. He rubs my knee before his hand comes to a rest just above my knee. The moment gets interrupted by Wendy who needs some assistance.
I take a moment to try and regulate myself, but the butterflies are having a boxing match in my stomach. I’m sure I was visibly red in the cheeks too.
Jack comes back, and despite most of the couch now being free, he sits back down in the gap between me and the armrest of the couch. I adjust the blanket and lean back against him, he puts his hand back on my knee and pulls it closer to him.
Wendy finishes cooking and brings us the food, Jack and I swap spots so I can smoke by the window. Jack throws the blanket back over he and I, and we resume our cuddle. He pulls my legs under his, we are now fully intertwined from the waist down. Any time my leg started to slip away from him he’d readjust me gently to stay close.
I realize how late it’s gotten after our second episode, so I dismiss myself. We say our goodbyes. Jack walks me to the door, and it felt as though we should’ve hugged goodbye but I’m awkward and didn’t instigate it. But the moment still feels weirdly intimate. Not much talking, just soft silence, and then I wish him safe travels on his trip which was the next day.
So what the fuck was that????
CONTEXT: I’ve only known Jack for a year now and he’s been single since we met. I have just gotten out of a relationship two months ago.
Also, Wendy is in a long-term relationship, not sure how relevant that is but wanted to give as much context as I can while remaining respectful of everyone’s privacy.
I don’t know what to do, and now he’s out of the country for awhile. Was that flirting or just us being touch starved? I don’t want to jump to conclusions, especially after the breakup, that’s not to say I don’t crave to be back in that moment. I’m afraid to ask him what that was because I’m chronically bad at reading social cues and rooms (audhd), and I don’t wanna make things awkward.
So, what do I do? What was that? :’)