AITA for what’s happening with my relationship between my mom and girlfriend
Big text here so buckle up. This has been an ongoing thing for ages, but it’s started when just about every time I’m at my girlfriends house I get a phone call from my mum telling me off for something that is completely unreasonable. Best example is the most recent when I was screamed at and my girlfriend was called a skank bc apparently my mom heard laughter, but I opened one of two coconut waters and she opened the one I didn’t open and the other one spoiled and apparently that’s my fault. idk and she picked me up and took me home I’m still underage so idk what I can do and stuff like that has been going on for 3 years my girlfriend. Her family travels and invites me everytime I’m away I get 100 messages saying how my moms coming to get me and that my girlfriends mom is incompetent bc she smokes weed (prescribed due to multiple reasonable issues) and that’s happened 4 times over 3 years, I’ve had to step away from what I’m doing and just stuff like that.
Most recently my mom said no to me going to my gfs house because I didn’t do the dishes the night before I went to bed (i genuinely forgot and am happy doing them every day) so this bottled up stuff that I’ve told my gf and my gf told her mom and a small bit of drama which is irrelevant
My gfs mom (I’ll use fake names for easier understanding gf=anna gf mom= Chloe my mom=bella) Anna messaged my mom saying on how she doesn’t like some of the stuff she’s said about Chloe and how it’s not fair that my mom blames me for her own issues and stuff my mom struggles with basically “using me as a punching bag.” My mom stayed up for 8 hours 8-4am sending hundreds of messages just trash talking and saying she’s a bad mom, talking about their financial struggles so and so. Messaging Anna the next day saying she’s doesn’t deserve me and feels like all I do is for her and we pushed past this, obvi Anna doesn’t come over anymore and it’s been about a month since then.
Today Anna and I had a talk and I’ve been struggling myself recently with other unrelated stuff so I haven’t been paying enough attention to Anna, we spoke about that but then Anna wasn’t the happiest with me and I did do some stupid stuff but I was just so angry at myself. I was just tearing up with anger I wasn’t angry at Anna at all I understood and I know what she means because I see it myself and it’s especially been harder now that I can’t see her bc apparently Chloe is so messed up I can’t go to their house so I’m only able to see her at school and yeah.
Anyway my little brother comes in twice I ask him nicely to just come back later. Bella comes in and just says to do dishes (sees that I’m not the happiest) and I just ask her to leave me one and give me a bit and she comes back 5 minutes later sits on my bed and says she isn’t leaving until I tell her what’s wrong. I get angry and I just keep asking her to leave and then she starts yelling and I apologise and am already angry, I have a bit of a short temper I have no excuse for it it’s always been a thing since I was little. I just started tweaking and just trying to get her to leave (nothing physical at all I never would.) She instantly blamed Anna for how I was acting and tried climbing on me taking my phone and I was just holding my arm up stopping her from falling on me she was trying to snatch my phone but I just kept it away from her (I’m not big in any means my mom is just a bit smaller and not strong). She was on top of me and put her hands around my throat saying she wants to choke me but she didn’t just kinda held them there awkwardly for a few seconds and I got really angry and started blaming her for everything and told her everything that’s been on my mind after she begged me to and wouldn’t leave. (I’ve had trust issues before as I’ve told her previous stuff to do with my dad that she’s used against me to make me feel like shit) so I explained how shitty she’s made me feel ab myself and my own relationship and it looked like she cares and I was grateful. I apologised for being so angry
Later in the night she randomly turns off the internet. I’m about to be 18 btw idk if I said that but yeah. I thought it just went out so I went to go check on it and the whole modem was gone so I went upstairs to see wtf and apparently I pulled the victim card and made everything about me and that I hate her so much even though she’s done so much for me and she said that I am stupid for feeling the way I am (I can’t help it or describe it in a better way it’s just how I feel) and I got really sad about that and then angry but I shrugged it off. She was sending me messages for 10 minutes while I’m just trying to calm down and she’s saying how I hate all of them and that I hate my little brother (I don’t at all I love him to bits it’s just so hard to connect w him as he has autism and a few other learning disabilities and he’s also 11) but I said I don’t hate him or my stepdad “I hate you just you.” I blocked her bc I knew what was coming next i didn’t keep her blocked I just didn’t want to see 100 messages.
She leaves it for 40 minutes and comes in my room at 1am while I’m on the phone to Anna, instantly yelling at me for still being on my xbox after the internet was off and tried taking my phone again and I kept her on the phone as she was screaming her head off at me and she hit my arm a few times trying to get my phone. I was just asking her to stop and leave, it was until she picked up my mouse and headphones and threw them on the ground saying I’m a horrible son and all this, (I paid for all that btw) she keeps yelling ab Anna being on the phone and at this point I’m holding my door closed while she’s literally kicking it and pushing it trying to get in. She starts calling my girlfriend names and it’s at this point I completely snap I was so out of it and I’m sorry if it seems rude or something I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
I screamed at her saying how much I hate her and how insane she is hoping she kills herself (I know how bad this is and I’m sorry for anybody that takes offence or anything to this I really am). That was that and I followed her as she walked away with my controller (gift from gf) she threw my controller (it’s fine but controlfreek popped off and I got scared as it’s an almost $200 controller. Mother’s Day flowers and presents were on the table and I said “you wanna destroy shit that isn’t yours fine let’s see how you like it, happy Mother’s Day bitch!” and I ripped up her flowers and threw them on the ground smashed the perfume and threw like a gift box on the ground. (I feel bad for my stepdad as he worked OT to get those presents for her but at this point I didn’t care it was a gift so I saw it as the same thing idk) my gf is otp the whole time I go back to my room and she follows me and I hit my desk a few times really hard and scream in pain, and anger I guess. (that shit hurt)
she faked called the police while crying and I’m picking up my now broken mouse from the floor (metal framing completely bent) i literally bought it a few days ago with money I had leftover from my birthday, atp my stepdad hears and comes downstairs and starts cleaning the flowers off the floor
nothing else is really important from here on I wanted to leave and my mom was telling me to do so, Anna called me an uber and told me to go to her house as she doesn’t trust my stepdad due to previous dv years ago and I go out to get in the uber and he follows me snatched my phone and I in tears ask the uber driver to please let me in and he drives off 😭 and I’m being pulled away.
we get back inside and my stepdad is saying Gen Z are weak pussies and calling me a weasel and saying I’m like my dad and stuff like that and Bella came in my room every 30 minutes to say something about everything until 3:30 and now I’m here typing this am I in the wrong should I talk to someone? Idk what to do and should I go with them to celebrate Mother’s Day. if anyone actually reads this then just thank you idk, I just feel like I have to vent. be honest don’t try and make me feel better just tell me how it is.