u/Beneficial_Repair240

It has come to our attention that a now-terminated intern posted an incomplete and poorly written list of proprietary Corporate technology, claiming that it was “soft” scifi. We are writing to inform you that not only does that intern, clearly, not know the correct definition of “soft scfi”, but owing to such possible confusion it may have caused, we have decided to terminate their contract post haste.

We would like to acknowledge any hardship they may have caused by offering a one night stay at the Blue Dot Resort, travel and beverage expenses not included. Valid only tomorrow, 5.8.8907 A.D.E.*

If you have any questions about the definition of “soft scifi” please feel free to reach out directly to us at our Corporate office located at the fabulous Blue Dot Resort on Io, Jupiter Orbit.

Management,
Blue Dot Resort
Io
Jupiter Orbit

*This coupon may not be redeemed for cash value. Expired 5.9.8907 A.D.E.

(Thank you for all prior and current feedback. Apologies if you are not actually entertained. The writing continues until moral improves...)

Wrote a novella that takes place 6,000 years in the future because that seems like enough time to do anything. I've included brief commentary to help provide context for how the technology is used in the story.

Curious your thoughts.

ftl-L - Like regular lasers only faster.

NiFi -  Like wifi but spelled different.

Pitchforks - 3D printing helps the mobs form faster

Shuntport - it’s not what you think

Shuntjack - it’s really not what you think

Consciousness replication - boring unless you are a robot. Meatbags are one and done

An acid that eats *paper* - exactly like it sounds, only more expository

A giant magnetic field that is powerful enough to expand Jupiter’s atmosphere until it can reach the moon Io’s orbit where it is mined. Powered by vulc reactors - uh, yeah. That.

Spaceships and space shit - self explanatory except it should be mentioned they’re all written *purple*. (not really).

Pretentiously written alien languages - Yes, but…they’re fake and generated behind a firewall by a repressive government and we don’t actually have to read any of them, but we (now) know they exist. Also, technically, this is a spoiler, so don’t tell anyone.

Bubbletrucks and lightning fields - The bubbletrucks transverse the lightning fields, which are the result of terraforming on [redacted]. That’s it. There’s no joke. Lightning fields are serious.

Assorted guns, droids, and battlebots; forkbots - yep, we got those.

Wagons - now, with wheels.

Shimmer suit - invincibility tech. Law enforcement only, so, obviously only used for good.

A heart that runs off alcohol - no really. I know we already got these. Doesn’t seem like a far reach.

edit: No objections to the dissection so far in the comments but for those curious about the intent, that fails, obviously: ttthe goal was to have the fourth wall break when implying that there's a patina of his character traits. It's not working. How could it better smash through?
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ok. right now I've got an opening sentence for a short story that's intentionally breaking the fourth wall. It still feels a somehow clunky but the little editor in my head shrugged and called it good after the current draft was finished:

"General Bombast’s office is a flatworn space with a patina of his character glossed across it."

Best to me would be: "...office is a worn space with a patina of character." but that removes the meta-commentary, and the prose circlejerking, which is important to clue the more savvy readers into the stories(sic) ongoing theme. It a story about storytelling, or at least this sentence is.

Another way to write it could be, "General Bombast’s office is a flatworn space with a patina of his character glossed across the surface." in which i only change the last word but am hesitant to go down that route because the new word, "surface" doesn't really say what's trying to be said about the level of clutter and spatial complexity to the space. Ironically, at least to me, using "it" instead feels more descriptive.

Am i overthinking it? How could this be better? Anybody got suggestions to make it worse, too, cause I'll take those all day.

Fr, thoughts are much appreciated. Thank you for your time.