I’ve mostly been a silent reader here and only post once in a while, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest.
I used to say over and over that I’d leave my bipolar ex. Turns out, it’s a lot easier to say than to actually do.
A lot happened over the past year. We broke up months ago, but even now, I can honestly say that aside from the bipolar disorder, he’s just… selfish. I tried to stay civil after everything he did because I knew he needed someone in his corner. I stayed even after being hurt countless times because I genuinely wanted to see him get better. It wasn’t even about getting back together anymore. I just wanted him to be okay.
After the breakup, he kept telling me he didn’t want to move on, that he still loved me, that he wanted to work things out. He was saying all of this as recently as this weekend.
Then today, I found out he downloaded WhatsApp again. And every time he does that, it’s the same pattern—dating apps, talking to other people, lying about it. When I confronted him, he gave me the lamest excuse.
That was it for me.
I kept asking myself: do I really have to tolerate this behavior because he refuses to get properly medicated? Or is this just who he is?
For the first time, I said everything I’d been holding back. I told him the painful truth about how his actions have affected me, how he lies, how he cheats, how exhausting it’s been. I blocked him, deleted our photos, and got rid of the few things he gave me.
And honestly? I feel both sad and relieved.
I’m sad because I’m the kind of person who holds on to hope, and when you love someone, that doesn’t just disappear overnight. But at the same time, I feel free. I’d rather deal with moments of sadness than keep putting myself through the same cycle.
I’m ready to move on. I don’t want to wait around for someone to become better when they’re not even trying to do the work themselves.
I don’t know if this makes me a bad person. Maybe I just finally reached my limit.