I lied about being autist for ten years to my friends and family.
When I was 19 I was having what I now know were seizures. I’d had odd speech and behaviour/seizures throughout my whole childhood. Come 18/19 years old I was having simple partial seizures (temporal lobe epilepsy). No one in my life believed something was wrong with my brain. So I lied to autism professionals and pretended to be autistic for an answer to my problems as a child. I’d convinced and deceived my family, friends and professionals that I was autistic. All because I wanted a stupid answer to my what I know now are seizures and a brain lesion on my temporal lobe. I committed fraud as a result of this by getting a disability paycheck. I’m now 31 and having been infantilised for 10 years I can’t see a way out of this huge lie. I’m an awful person I know. The lie itself was not with malicious intent but I was a compulsive liar even as a little boy. Things escalated.
I’m fucked.