A Bleak now..
I am writing this as I go. My now ex I guess of 6 years just told me she wasnt feeling it anymore. Im 41M, im a kind person, gullible even. I learned so much with her and loved her (36f) with every fiber of my being, with that kinda of familiar and intimate love that just doesnt happen every time. She didnt do nothing wrong, me neither,we were just a couple, we love to talk to each other and make each other laugh. We adopted two puppies 4 years ago. We lived together. We landed a job at the same place too, out of luck. She decided to end things. We are honest to each another so I know there isnt someone else. Its about her, its about how she loves and that she feels its truly unfair that im not receiving the kind of love im giving. I respect her, shes very smart and kind too. In fact, I love her deeply, thats why im destroyed. Because I know shes being true to herself and honest with me about it. We talked about it, we cried about it. Im moving out in a few days and hoping to find a place where I can take the dogs, they need space and shes moving to an apparment cause neither of us can afford a better place to stay. I've been hurt before, cheated on and had my trust broken in many places. But this breaks my heart in a way i can barely put into words. Im writing cause I dont know what else to do, and Im crying cause I wouldve never wanted for things to end with her. She knows I love her, and she knows I would do anything. I hate the future silence and the empy rooms full of people I dont care. I cant even fight this decision. Life keeps moving and Im just here.