u/Bentaiga

Lately I’ve been thinking heavily about faith/religion, whichever you prefer to call it.

I was born and raised in a Christian household. My mom is Bemba and Christian, same with my dad. I vividly remember how prayerful my grandma was church every Sunday, prayers every night, the whole thing. Till this day I genuinely believe her prayers are still protecting me somehow. For context, she never even spoke English, only Bemba.

Fast forward to 2024, around March right after Ramadan. I had fasted with a Muslim friend of mine (we’ve been friends for almost 10 years now). Before that, becoming Muslim was never something I imagined for myself. But at that period in my life I was honestly lost in the sauce, too deep in worldly things, and Islam came into my life at the right time and gave me structure and guidance. So I reverted/converted to Islam.

Fast forward again to late 2025, and I’ve been deep into African history, empires, wars, tribes, migration, languages, cultures, landscapes, all of it. Then one thought hit me:

What were we doing spiritually before Islam and Christianity reached us as native Black Africans?

I’ve tried researching Bemba spirituality specifically, but information feels scattered compared to West African traditions like Vodun, which is much more documented and visible online/in the Americas. But as far as I understand, Bemba people are part of the larger Bantu migration into Sub-Saharan Africa, not West Africa.

So now I find myself wondering:
What did my ancestors believe in?
How did they connect with the creator?
Did they fear eternal punishment the same way Abrahamic religions teach it?
What did prayer look like to them?

I strongly believe our ancestors experienced real spiritual connection in some form, because a lot of the stories passed down sound almost mythical today, yet to them these things were normal parts of life.

I try to keep an open mind and entertain thoughts without automatically accepting them as universal truth. I’m not trying to disrespect Islam or Christianity either. Islam genuinely helped me during a dark period of my life.

I think I’m just trying to understand where we come from spiritually as African people before colonization and outside religious influence.

At the end of the day, my personal belief about life is this:
I’m here to have a human experience, learn as much as I can, and eventually return to the One who created me.

may 1st. just cleared my roster again-but this time it feels different.

i’m not sitting here wondering if i’ll be bored or if i’m still “him.” i already know where i stand. for context: 21, 5’11, 81kg lean, fairly attractive. getting girls has never really been an issue for me.

but at some point… it just gets repetitive. too easy. like the thrill is gone. same patterns, different faces.

now i feel like i’m at a crossroads between chasing purpose and chasing love. i made the decision to step away from the whole roster thing, and it feels right-but i don’t know if it actually is right.

one thing that’s been on my mind:

won’t it be harder to build something real once i have money?

most of the “successful” guys i see either:

•	stay single and avoid commitment because they’re scared of losing what they built

•	or they go all in on experiencing everything they couldn’t before

i don’t want either of those outcomes.

i’ve had a couple situations that could’ve turned into something real, but i messed them up because i was still caught up in that lifestyle.

exhibit A: beautiful eritrean girl. all she really wanted was my love, and at the time i couldn’t give it. looking back, even if i had tried, i don’t know if it would’ve lasted long-term (cultural differences, family perceptions, etc.).

exhibit B: mozambican girl. this one was different. real connection, real passion. she was only supposed to be around for a short time, but ended up staying longer because of me. we had 10 solid months together. probably one of the most meaningful experiences i’ve had-but it still had an expiry date.

i’ve also dated locally, but those experiences haven’t really hit the same. some were just… surface level. some taught me lessons. some showed me sides of people i didn’t expect. overall, it’s been a learning curve.

so now i’m here. no roster (well… kinda 😅), staying productive, trying to lock in on my purpose and figure out my direction.

my main question is:

am i making the right move stepping away from all this?

and how do you actually know when a girl is “the one”?

because i’m not worried about options. i know they’ll always be there. that’s not the issue.

i just don’t want to build success and then realize i made it harder for myself to build something real.

anyone else been through this phase or something similar?

What did Bemba people believe in before Christianity and Islam?