AITA for avoiding my girlfriend’s coworkers and refusing to photograph them at an upcomming event
I (25F) have been with my girlfriend (30F) for almost a year. She’s a tattoo artist and works at the same shop where she did her apprenticeship, which she officially finished in September.
We’re both pretty progressive and left-wing here in the Netherlands. I study graphic design and also work in photography. And started with event photography. Recently I photographed my girlfriend at a tattoo convention that really matched her style, and the photos turned out great.
The problem is the tattoo shop environment. There are four people there: my girlfriend, another apprentice who’s also her friend, the male owner, and his girlfriend/co-owner.
The owners create a really toxic workplace. The owner is extremely controlling about things like taking days off, traveling, or even staying home sick. My girlfriend and her coworker often come in sick because they feel pressured to.
My girlfriend had a severe burnout last year and struggled again this year. The owners basically don’t believe in mental health issues and think people should just “try harder to be happy.” She wasn’t allowed to properly recover, and it seriously affected her mental health and passion for tattooing.
They also gossip and pit employees against each other. They’ll tell her coworker things like, “C was too lazy to do this apprentice task, so now you have to.” Both my girlfriend and her friend were apprentices at the same time, so this happened a lot.
On top of that, their values are completely opposite from ours. They regularly make right-wing comments and jokes about refugees, trans people, black people, queer people, etc. My girlfriend and I strongly disagree with all of it. Many of her clients are queer or trans too. Thankfully the owners don’t say these things to clients, only behind the scenes.
Because of all this, I feel really uncomfortable around them. I’m not good at pretending to like people when I don’t. I mostly avoid them and usually only see them briefly when picking my girlfriend up.
Last week I accidentally ran into the owner and said I’d say hello at the shop sometime because I’d missed him before because every time he’s tattooing. I regretted it immediately because I genuinely don’t know how to interact with someone whose behavior and beliefs I dislike this much.
Apparently afterward, the owner asked my girlfriend’s coworker if I disliked him. She didn’t really answer. And asked her: “am I really that bad?” And she didn’t respond.
Now there’s another issue. In a few months there’s another tattoo convention. I’m going again to photograph my girlfriend and her booth, but the owners will also be there text to her. I honestly do not want to photograph them or their work at all. I feel like he will be insulted and confront us and create drama for my girlfriend at work.
So, AITA for disliking them even though I don’t know them personally, avoiding them, and not wanting to photograph them?