u/Best_Cicada_9372

I have a spayed 16 month old mini schnauzer who we’ve had since she was 10 weeks old. she is sweet and cuddly and really affectionate… except… she has some REALLY strong boundaries and she is very vocal about them. I just want to know if this is normal or if this is aggressive: she only likes being picked up if a) she requests it by jumping up or b) we have a treat/reward/positive enforcement alongside it. any other time she’ll growl/grumble. when she was younger she used to go into out right snap and bite mode if anyone tried to pick her up. after respecting her cues and space more over the last few months shes much better at being handled. i only really pick her up if I have to e.g emergency or at the vets or into a car or if she asks for it and that seems to be working. just now though she was clearly agitated and needing her pre bed time wee, but refusing to go out for it, so I thought I’d try carrying her off the bed and out to potty, she made the most intense growling snarling noise and tried to snap at me. i stepped away and she immediately came over to lick and cuddle me. is that normal???

we also just had a vet visit where the vet nurse was a student/trainee and he did a terrible job checking her temp (backside) and struggled to insert and also did an even worse job injecting her with her vaccine, jamming it into her hind leg and not fully inserting so causing her much more than just a ‘sharp scratch sensation) I was holding her steady and in her fear she tried to get free and because i wouldnt let her she bit me, quite hard. now, i dont blame her. I understand she was under a lot of stress plus she’s hated the vet ever since her spay at 11 months.

i just want to know if this kinda strong boundary setting is normal in a small dog as it seems so many people have very placid and easy going schnauzers.

she used to nuisance bark but we’ve basically eliminated that and she’s 90% unreactive and dare I say chill on walks! with guests in the house she is very inquisitive and will jump up till she’s properly assessed them but then will relax. She’s also trained to go into a different room whenever the doorbell rings and so she always takes herself away from the situation. which is super useful.

thanks !

hi! I am a cis gender queer able-bodied 28 y/o female in a relationship with a non-binary person who is also chronically ill. we have a mini schnauzer and we live together. life is sweet and slow and steady. i am mostly happy.

recently, I’ve noticed all the straight people I went to school and uni with are getting engaged/married/having kids/buying houses and it makes me feel a really strange kind of way. I can’t put my finger on it - is it jealousy? it makes me feel so bad that I have had to delete Instagram.

my partner’s disabling illness means its highly unlikely we’ll ever have kids, getting married on engaged would make receiving benefit payments tricky for them and buying a house feels almost impossible.

I’ve always been a high achiever and not meeting these milestones makes me feel like a failure. anyway, i want to find some books that can free me from the shackles of heteronormative expectation and enable me to feel happy with what I’ve got, rather than jealous of everyone else who seemingly have everything i thought i would have at this point.