u/BethanyOf

I've been obese for most of my life. I didn't know the term until I was 11 years old in gym class and we were measuring ourselves. My BMI was well over 30 then.

Three years ago I went to a weight loss clinic and got approved for bariatric surgery. I moved to a different city nine months ago and established care with a bariatric surgeon about six months ago. I weighed 140 pounds at the time (BMI of 24). She (the physician) told me I needed to eat more (after asking what I usually eat) and gain twenty pounds.

I've since gained 15 pounds, mostly muscle, and my doctor is very pleased. But this puts me into the overweight category by BMI. It's so stupid to be caught up on this, but it's also so much. I hope I'm not intruding by posting here (the community summary says former SMO peeps are welcome), but I'm not sure where else people will get me.

I'm trying to focus on non-scale factors. I have more energy now than ever. My blood pressure is running 1-teens over 70s. I wear size small in most clothing. I should be completely happy. But my mind keeps coming back to BMI.

I'm worried about my girlfriend. 48F, 200 lbs, former smoker with chronic pain of unknown origin and tittnitis. She takes Tylenol (acetaminophen/paracetamol) as needed. She also takes a multivitamin daily.

Our boyfriend called me a week ago to say that she'd been diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Three days ago she was admitted to the hospital with a fasting blood sugar of 883, so I figured the cancer had destroyed the islets of Langerhans. For some reason the reason the hospital did comprehensive imaging as part of her workup. They said there was nothing on imaging that looked malignant outside of the pancreas itself. I then looked at the pathology report. It shows a sample from her pancreas and from a distant metastasis that were both cancerous. The "distant metastasis" turned out to be a separate skin cancer though (sucks to have two cancers at once) and is likely treatable. Nothing in between! I thought physicians were supposed to take samples radiating out.

She definitely does have pancreatic cancer, but has it spread beyond the pancreas? Both of my partners want to let it go and persue hospice. I want to persue a second opinion. Does that sound like a good idea under the circumstances? If there is basically no chance of survival even if it's stage I pancreatic cancer, then I'm on board with hospice care. But if there is a reasonable chance, I'd like to be able to make the argument to them both.