Hello,
I have a turkey neck - those of you who have lost weight or are ageing (or both) know what I am talking about.
Is there any product you use on your skin to keep it smooth and plump looking? Does anything tighten it up?
46/f/Arkansas I am needing support to stay accountable. I have not found success in losing yet. It's hard to exercise due to fibromyalgia and chronic pain. Thankyou
I’m SMO. Right now I weigh 455 pounds at 5”5. My highest ever weight was during the pandemic where I got up to 515 pounds. I’m 34 and female. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have been taking small steps toward losing weight. It’s been happening slowly but surely. When I went back to work after the pandemic, I went back to my normal ish weight of 470-480. I’m down to 455 because I’ve been more active at work and eating less. And as of the past year or so, I’ve had severe gastrointestinal symptoms, including chronic diarrhea for over a year. I did every non-invasive test my gastroenterologist recommended. Everything came back unremarkable, aside from elevated calprotectin. I also have iron defiance anemia that I’m now getting iron infusions for due to not being able to tolerate oral iron. My doctor told me I needed an endoscopy and colonoscopy with biopsies as a next step. I kept rescheduling the procedure, and even canceled twice before. I finally felt got to a point where I’m like I have to follow through with this procedure. Everybody kept telling me it wasn’t a big deal and that the procedure itself was a breeze, and that prep was the worst part. But what people didn’t understand was that I kept rescheduling because of fear due to my weight. I not only felt embarrassed by it, but I felt like the procedure itself would be far too complicated for someone of my size. I kept imagining the worst. Fast forward to this month, and I decided to keep my appointment after talking through my fears with my therapist. I did a pre-procedure appointment with a nurse practitioner who went over prep instructions for me. I left the appointment a bit confused because she had briefly mentioned intubation. But I wasn’t really sure what that even was. So I get to my appointment yesterday after doing the prep and clear liquid diet (which was surprisingly easy). I met with the anesthesiologist and he told me they were going to do general anesthesia with intubation. I started panicking internally. I knew they had to go that route due to my BMI. Well…I had to have the procedure in a hospital-based setting anyway and not at my gastro office due to my BMI in the first place. But I wasn’t expecting full on general anesthesia. I have cuts and scrapes in my mouth. Really bad jaw pain and ear pain. I had to go to the ER after I got home due to how bad the pain was in my mouth (I was advised to do so by the doctor). Anyway, they said it’s just affects from the intubation and sometimes these things can happen. So now I’ve spent the past few hours researching intubation and how obesity affects certain procedures. And it has me realizing I’ve got to lose this weight. Like I literally couldn’t just get a regular colonoscopy and endoscopy without having to do it at a hospital under full on anesthesia. Feeling very anxious still.
As of today I'm 113kg, squarely in the middle between my max of 226kg (498lb) and 0. There's literally half of me. I can't describe how weird that is to write not in some metaphoric sense, but measurable mathematical reality.
The feeling of freedom is almost overwhelming. The ability to just do things without pretty much dying from exhaustion, going to go to a shop and buy clothes. Or actually finding something my size in a thrift store. Not needing a handful of pills every day to maintain basic quality of life. Rediscovering things I didn't do for years. Like tying my shoes normally, without any weird acrobatics or holding in my breath. All those things are so great.
And that's why I feel so guilty about not appreciating all of them as much as I should. Because all of these only underline the ones that stayed the same. While I was aware losing weight won't magically fix all my problems and told my psychologist months ago. I expected to at least gain a bit of self confidence. But that didn't really happen. I'm still the same anxious, shy, nervous wreck. And I'm not sure if the feelings about my body didn't get worse. Before I just recognized I looked shit and that was mostly it. But now I obviously have all this extra skin that sags everywhere and sways and jiggles in this disgusting whenever I move or god forbid lean over anything. Any time I lay on my bed reading or whatever and in the corner of my eye get a glimpse of my belly and chest skin "flooding" the area in front of my trunk I just want to puke. It's so irritating that I can see that underneath all that there's my actual body, even can feel my ribs or pelvis, but it's all in this fucking deflated balloon. Probably the worst part are my former manboobs, now just hanging there with nipples in absurd places, I hate the fact you can see the outline of that through a shirt. When I was extremely obese I was a bit uncomfortable doing stuff like hugging people a bit, but now I just feel so repulsed I genuinely feel sorry for anyone I'm used to greeting by hugging. I really don't want to do that these days, but I'm not going to be telling anyone, I know that would be weird and I'm not going to make them responsible for fixing my mental issues. To think I wasted my 20s being morbidly obese, and now I'll potentially waste my 30s being this disgusting melted-pudding-man... I'll be honest I don't know what I'm rambling on about. I guess I needed to just get all of that out of myself.
And one more thing. I'm infuriated that I lost 113 fucking kilograms and I'm still obese. WTF is that?! It's not like I wasn't aware of the scale of super morbidly obese when I was at my heaviest, but doing all this work and still having the o word hanging over me is just bullcrap man! It feels so sticky when you are actually there and not just looking at a chart.
Dumb rant over. ❤️
I hope it'll get better when I get used to my current self more. So keep on going friends, it's worth it. But far from magic.
Hi all, I am about 310lb (originally about ~450lb), but I have been down to 280lb.
So to cut a long story short, I am struggling to lose weight now that I'm in a relationship. I love my partner so much and will never leave her.
The problem I have is that she accepts whatever size I'm at and loves me anyway - and she has insecurities about another lady stealing me so she admits she doesn't want me to lose weight.
So as a consequence I feel she doesn't help me lose weight, she'll offer food above what I should eat, but I'm so happy in our relationship I can't resist.
When I'm focussed, I'm capable of losing weight. She was away for a month a while ago and I was left to my own devices- and I was able to put myself on a downward weight loss trajectory which was awesome. I missed her immensely, maybe I could channel that into weightloss.
But I'm gaining weight again. So I am just after support and encouragement please, how can I make this work? How do I steel my willpower and do this? I can see myself getting fatter in the mirror again. I want to make this work and lose weight.
Thanks in advance for any help.
I've been overweight and obese for majority of my life and I've always followed the tips and tricks I learned from my grandmother who was also a larger woman:
Dry off thoroughly
Powder under any folds
Wear long pants/shorts to prevent thigh chafing
If you can't wear long pants/shorts, use deodorant
And it never failed me, but now I'm dealing with intertrigo. I didn't realize what it was until I happened to lift up my stomach and saw that it was bright, bloody red and irritated. The same for my breast.
I won't be able to make it to the doctor until tomorrow morning, but what can I do in the meantime? It hurts, and I don't want to make it worse.
I am 53 pounds down from my highest weight as of today.
So I decided to come deep sea fishing tonight and I had a lot of stuff to carry onto the boat including my jacket. As I was looking for a way to carry everything, the 90s kid in me got the idea to tie my jacket around my waist. At my heaviest I couldn’t do this-the sleeves weren’t long enough to go around my waist and I could never get a good knot. Well…today…I was able to tie my jacket around my waist!! The weirdest NSV I’ve ever had but I was insanely giddy.
Tell me about your weirdest NSVs!!!
So bit of positive news leading up to a question.
I started a new job that I think is going to be great for me overall. I’m (28f) 5’3 and 450 lbs and I’ve been out of a job since March of this year. My previous job had a lot of sitting. This job I just got, I’m on my feet for my whole 8 hour shift. It’ll be great for my health journey because I do a lot of walking and stairs, and I don’t have much opportunity to snack on things, so I’ve been packing a few small healthy snacks.
Now to my struggle. I’m used to wearing crocs but they’re not allowed at this job, so I need to find shoes that will work. My issue? I’m a size 11.5 to 12 in women’s PLUS I have wide feet, along with needing amazing arch support 😭 I can’t find anything locally, so I’ll have to order some shoes online.
I also really jumped into it and have so little endurance built up, so I’m awfully slow at walking/climbing stairs/etc, but I know that’ll get easier as I keep working. I’m also not going to do any leg exercises on my days off for now, because my legs are like noodles by the time I’m off work.
Does anyone have any suggestions of great shoes? I’m three shifts in wearing a $20 pair of shoes from Walmart and my feet are absolutely KILLING me.
I have been heavy all my life it feels like and I just can't keep going, it feels like I have tried everything in terms of physical losing weight and diet and exercise and even gone on medical drugs (besides glp1s due to cost and mental health reasons). I have been over 300 since highschool and have never been able to get it under control, and I just keep getting bigger, at this point I feel like I'll have a heart attack and it's always affected my relationships and jobs and I'm afraid it will only get worse without help. If you can spare a few minutes i would love some positive advice and more
Today I finally gave in.
I'm currently around a BMI of 46, and I'm just so tired of not being able to dress the way I actually want to dress.
I've avoided Shein my entire adult life. I've always tried, as much as I reasonably can, to buy clothes from brands where I know something about where/how they're made, and when I buy clothes, I wear them for a LONG time. I'm really not someone who buys something, wears it twice and throws it away.
But today I placed my first Shein order, and honestly, I feel pretty shitty about it.
I only bought a few pieces, and I'll take care of them and wear them for as long as they survive. I really hope the quality is at least decent. But I reached a point where I just couldn't take opening my wardrobe and hating almost everything I could actually wear.
There ARE other options in my size. The problem is that whenever I find something that is genuinely beautiful, feels like me, comes in my size AND isn't fast fashion, suddenly I'm looking at €150–300 for a single piece.
I understand why genuinely ethical clothing costs more. People deserve to be paid properly for their work, materials cost money, small-scale production costs money, etc. I'm not expecting handmade, ethically produced clothing to cost €20.
But I simply cannot afford a €200–300 garment every time I need something nice.
And then I've had people recommend supposedly “better” alternatives where I look into the company and… it's still basically fast fashion. Except now the dress is €150. At that point I don't even understand what I'm paying extra for.
For a long time, I accepted having fewer options. I told myself that clothing wasn't important enough to compromise my values over.
But I'm going through a really difficult period of my life right now, and I realized that I desperately want to feel pretty sometimes.
I have a few occasions coming up. I don't need to be the most beautiful person in the room. I don't need everyone to look at me. I just want to put something on, look in the mirror and think, “Oh. I actually look cute.”
And I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to want just because I'm fat.
So I gave in and ordered a few things.
The frustrating thing is that I've never judged other fat people for buying from Shein. Quite the opposite. I've always understood that when your size severely limits where you can shop, “just buy ethical clothing” isn't necessarily useful advice. Not everyone has the same budget, location, body shape or access to secondhand clothing in their size.
Apparently I could extend that understanding to everybody except myself. 😅
I still feel guilty because this goes against something I've cared about for years. Until now, my personal level of “fast fashion” was basically occasionally H&M or C&A which I know aren't exactly ethical champions either. I've never really navigated the ultra-fast-fashion world before.
I'm planning for this to be my first and last Shein order. I just needed a few clothes that fit my current body and that I can actually feel happy wearing, rather than continuing to punish myself with clothes I hate while waiting for some hypothetical future version of my body.
So, fellow fat Europeans: where the hell do you buy your clothes?
Especially those around my size or bigger.
I'd LOVE recommendations for European brands that make genuinely cute/interesting/colourful plus-size clothes and are reasonably ethical, without every dress costing €300.
But honestly, I'm also interested in the imperfect middle ground. Maybe brands that aren't perfect but are better than ultra-fast fashion, have decent quality and actually make clothes for very large bodies. I clearly need to learn more about what's available.
Secondhand recommendations are welcome too, although finding specific styles in larger sizes can obviously be a challenge.
And I'd also just love to hear how other people navigate the ethical side of this. Where do you draw the line when the “better” options either don't make your size or are financially inaccessible?
Because right now I'm feeling a weird combination of guilt and relief.
Guilt because I finally bought from a company I'd deliberately avoided for years.
Relief because for once I have a little package coming with clothes I actually chose because I thought they were pretty not just because they happened to fit me....
i’m currently volunteering at the animal shelter for a few hours per day to try and get my stamina up a bit because i am seeking a job after being unemployed and bedridden for months. i’m about 340 lbs and 5’5, female. god i’m covered in sweat after working in the shelter for only an hour and i feel so extremely sick. i want to give up so bad. it feels so humiliating to be so exhausted while everyone else is just fine working for hours without breaking a sweat. i need advice please
Hi. I'm 36f and at my highest weight of 335 lbs.
I recently started the process of getting life insurance. I had an appointment Monday with a nurse for a general medical exam ( blood pressure, blood draw, urine sample, BP, weight). I knew I had gained weight in the last year but avoided the scale like the plague. Discovering my weight was a wake up call. I've been sick in the summer of 2024 and my Illness lasted until late spring of 2025. That's when the weight gain started.
I have high blood pressure and am currently waiting to find out if I have diabetes. I hope I don't, but honestly I wouldn't be surprised.
Very motivated to change . I know I need to lose weight. Started using the stationary bike again. And changed my eating habits by cutting sugar, carbs, sodium.
What motivates me is the plans I have for the future. I would really love to travel someday and I want to be healthy enough to do the things I want.
Looking for words of encouragement , advice, or just to be able to connect with people that are going through the same thing.
I know my goal weight shows 250, but my first real goal was to break 350. Today I weighed in at 348. I treated myself to a nice breakfast, then got right back on the wagon. I am so proud of myself; I haven't weighed under 400lbs in over 10 years. I've just been using CICO at 2200-2500 calories per day. I stopped using Mounjaro a month ago because it was lowering my blood sugar too much, so I've just been running on willpower.
I've been obese for most of my life. I didn't know the term until I was 11 years old in gym class and we were measuring ourselves. My BMI was well over 30 then.
Three years ago I went to a weight loss clinic and got approved for bariatric surgery. I moved to a different city nine months ago and established care with a bariatric surgeon about six months ago. I weighed 140 pounds at the time (BMI of 24). She (the physician) told me I needed to eat more (after asking what I usually eat) and gain twenty pounds.
I've since gained 15 pounds, mostly muscle, and my doctor is very pleased. But this puts me into the overweight category by BMI. It's so stupid to be caught up on this, but it's also so much. I hope I'm not intruding by posting here (the community summary says former SMO peeps are welcome), but I'm not sure where else people will get me.
I'm trying to focus on non-scale factors. I have more energy now than ever. My blood pressure is running 1-teens over 70s. I wear size small in most clothing. I should be completely happy. But my mind keeps coming back to BMI.
Hey! 18 Fm here. Posting this on a throwaway account. I would appreciate if people could be nice. Just explaining my situation and asking for help. This post also might be a bit of rambling but please bear with me.
I’m 5’11 and 290 pounds, last time I checked. Im incredibly lazy when it comes to physical activity. I like to go on walks and hikes, and I like to weight lift I just never stay consistent with working out. Two years ago I weighed 250 lbs. And maybe 3 years ago I was around 230. I was happy when I weighed 230. Still self conscious of my body as I was 15 at the time, but I was in way better shape than I am now.
I want to be better. I want to be healthy, I want to live a long life. I have PCOS. I’m pre diabetic and I have crazy high blood pressure and it’s just been climbing over the last year. I’m scared to go to the doctors each time I go. I tried a GLP-1 but just used it as an excuse to eat the way I normally do. It kept me at around 270 but I slowly started gaining after that. My goal is to be between 215-230.
I’m incredibly uncomfortable in my body, and I’ve tried to loose weight since I was 11. I wasn’t crazy overweight then, but every woman in my family is and constantly talked about being too fat or unhealthy eating habits. My mom was over 400 lbs at one point.
I gave up for a while because when I actually put effort into loosing weight, nothing would happen and I would revert back to old habits. I have a really unhealthy relationship with food, and have been through an immense amount of trauma in my childhood so I found comfort in food.
I really want to be healthy. I really want to loose weight. I am a Christian and want to live a life that glorifies God and I want to treat my body as such.
I guess I just need help or advice. How do I stay consistent? A lot of the time I build good workout routines for the whole week and meal plans and I just can’t stick to it. I’ve done keto (lost 25 lbs) low carb, glp-1s, starving myself, and I have a hard time staying consistent with the workouts I build.
But I truly want to be better. I’m just at a loss for where to start.
Advice and guidance would be appreciated