u/boundsonder

Some months back I bought a walking pad in an attempt to start getting my steps in, but it’s too thin for me to use it. I can’t stand on the track without my thighs essentially being glued together. Bit of a devastating blow, and I’m still not moving, as I hate being perceived, so I never go outside, and when I do, it’s late at night and only for a bit because my back is screaming after a bit of walking. I can't figure out any other way to get steps in without pain, and I already have no will, energy, or motivation to do anything but bedrot, so not being able to do something inside is really hindering me. I know everyone's first thought will be to just buy a wider one, but I'm yet to find one that would work.

I’m 27, 5’3” (160ish cm), and 375 lbs (170ish kg). Sorry, I really don’t feel like doing math right now, but I think that’s close enough.

Anyway, I really want to change so I can find my person and move on with my life, but I’m really struggling with starting and with having no support or knowing anyone that can relate to the weight loss experience. I guess I'm just hoping for some tips and hopefully a bit of community.

I’ve been big my entire life. I remember being 265 at 13, and I guess I gained another 100 lbs during high school and have just been sort of stagnant since then. Last year when I got to 360 for the first time, I got a boost of motivation and got down to 330 but gained it all back plus 10-15 lbs that I’ve been battling with since. Now instead of stalling at 360 lbs, I’m stalling at 370 +/- 3 lbs.

Every week I swear I’m going to do it. I fill my fridge with turkey bacon, egg whites, lean ground beef, etc., and then I spend the next 3 days eating family-sized fast food meals. I’m so lost, but I don’t know what I’m doing.