u/Imaginary-Trade-1463

Being kind to myself does not work. Being mean to myself temporarily worked. I’ve gained 4 inches around my waistline binge eating and I need motivation to get off of my fat ass and loos the weight (again). I’m 20 years old and my whole life. I have never been able to keep the way off. I always go back to food because I have no self-control and it’s absolutely disgusting.i don’t even feel like a woman anymore just a blob

Broke up with my ex of 6 months a couple months ago. It was all fine until the end. I broke up with her and did the it’s not you it’s me thing and then blocked her a week later (for a separate reason) I wish I could go back and redo it all. Shes not a terrible person she just stressed me out a bit. We’re just not good romantically. So many issues I didn’t know I had became a parent in the time we dated. She was honestly too good for me and I feel so guilty that I even came into her life in the first place (we were friends first)

Since then I’ve put on 30 pounds, my skin has gone to shit, my hairs been falling out and I have no desire to do anything or see anyone. I’m barely keeping up with my hygiene and I keep things in about the whole relationship. I’d like to apologize to her but there’s no way in hell she’d want to hear from me. I don’t want to get back together I just want to get rid of some of this guilt.

I don’t really have much to say other than the title. The dating pool is already so small I think I may just end up alone. Id love to marry another black woman and build a life together. Idk it’s just a while another level of loneliness im exhausted