Avoiding the forever yeet.
Already been living with my parents for 5 years after losing my house and job. Husband just lost his job I just had to start working an overnight job only making $20/hr part time cause thats all thats fucking hiring in my area right now depression is at an all time low. The forever yeet would be nice except I have a little one I don't want subjected to the childhood trauma I grew up with so I gotta stay for him so my mom can't hurt him the way I was hurt my whole life.
Just finished having a lil menty B cry sesh an hour into my shift and my husband told me he was "upset that I rolled my eyes" when he was talking about how I need to figure out how to sleep better so i can sleep more than the 5 hours a day I do. He was also upset that after only sleeping 5 hours I needed more sleep (shocker).
Tldr: wanna fuckin die but I can't cause my toddler son needs me.
My question is this: what possible positive is there to see in having to keep living with abusive manipulative, narcissistic parents, my husband just losing his job, I have to work hours that I basically never get to see my own fuckin family, and fucking nowhere is hiring for better employment? (I apply weekly to at least 30+ jobs and either get exclusively auto rejection emails, or ghosted. its been that way for the last 5 years, since I lost my last job.) I'm feeling more hopeless about the future than I ever have and literally the only thing keeping me around right now is my 2 year old. How do I get through this?? My therapist is basically fuckin useless all she does is be like " hey so how did this week go" after showing up 15-20 minutes late to my session every fucking week, and offering little to no help dealing with my cptsd, how to cope with this shit, or even so much as encouragement that things will get better.