u/Bettdf_Dobbs

I have a best friend, we have been friends for eight years, and it has always been our dream to go abroad together. It just sounds incredible to vacation as a duo, wake up for breakfast together, tan, and take photos.

I told my boyfriend about this a month and a half ago. Of course, he immediately said he wasn't completely on board, but he said he needed to think about it and that it was a debatable topic. Basically, I kept talking and talking and talking to him about it. Eventually, he stopped reacting badly and would just listen, so I thought that everything was fine and he agreed to let me go. In fact, we generally don’t have strict restrictions in our relationship. Naturally, we understand that we don't go to clubs at night and things like that, but I never thought he wouldn't be able to let me go abroad.

I was supposed to go entirely at my own expense, I worked a lot specifically for this. And then yesterday, we literally had a conversation when I already started picking out hotels. He says wait, you're actually going somewhere? I'm against it. I don't want you to go, you’ll be partying and hanging out there. I said, I won't be partying or hanging out. If you want, I will just tan and eat, and we will have fun during the day, and at night we will sleep in our room. He said he is against it anyway.

Honestly, this hurt me so deeply because I dreamed about this so much, I wanted it so badly, and now all my dreams just flew into the trash. Now I don’t want to talk to him, I just have no desire. Of course, I don’t want to break up, but this is so unpleasant and hurtful.

Tell me, am I the jerk? Am I wrong in this situation? I understand that he worries about me, but I feel like any girl would want to go on a vacation with her best friend.

My mom and I are pretty close, but sometimes she is too irresponsible and kind of silly, but she is also very nice, sweet, and kind. My parents divorced when I was seven years old, and I stayed to live with my mom, although I also see my dad once every six months or once a year.

Recently, a situation happened where she tells me: Sweetheart, you must study very hard because mom doesn't want to work anymore, I already want to just lie down and relax in the Maldives.

I say: Mom, I don't really remember you trying too hard in my childhood so that I could lie down on vacation and not start working from an early age.

My aunt and my grandma were also with us back then, and they go like: How can you answer your mother like that, do you even have a conscience, she is your mother.

I agree with them that maybe I crossed the line with my statement, but I also felt hurt because why didn't she try that hard, but I am the one who has to take her to the Maldives. So, I am the jerk?

TL;DR: My mom told me I need to study and work hard so I can support her and buy her a vacation to the Maldives. I snapped and reminded her she didn't provide a luxury life for me in my childhood, and now my family is calling me heartless