u/Bfinnera

Making a Sacrifice

My LO and I are a part of the same spiritual community. I met her about six months ago, and was immediately intrigued. After our first encounter, I was excited to see her again, and when I did, she said, “I’ve been thinking about you.” That was enough to trigger the obsession. Her behavior was hot and cold for a while. I tried to get a sense if she was single or not, and did find out about two months into it that she was in a new relationship. After this revelation I felt like her flirting increased. She began touching me, she got my number from someone and started texting me. We went out and a nice time. Felt like a date to me.

Anyways, my limerence has gotten so bad. I recently started blocking and unblocking. I’ve avoided talking to her when I see her. I took a couple of weeks off from the venue I see her at weekly, but I miss the community. I returned tonight, saw her and was immediately activated. We didn’t speak and I didn’t look at her.

At this point it seems like confession might help. Humiliatingly as it might be. I don’t think I’m up for all this avoidance and anti-social behavior I’ve been demonstrating. I doubt it affects her much, but she’s surely noticed.

Has anyone continued to participate in an activity or group where they see their LO, or is it just impossible? For me it would be a big sacrifice to give up this community that I’ve been involved with for many years.

reddit.com
u/Bfinnera — 3 days ago

I’m getting better at it, but still failing occasionally. I sent her a voice message tonight and she responded with one. It didn’t give me the thrill it used to. I felt shame and regret.

Any time I initiate contact, I hope for an intimate exchange, but it’s almost always clearly platonic. I tell myself I’m reaching out to keep the “friendship” going. I have no interest in friendship.

Besides her incredible looks, my LO doesn’t have many qualities that I find attractive. I’ve become more aware of the fact that it wouldn’t work even if she was interested. Nonetheless I fuck up every once in a while and break no contact.

reddit.com
u/Bfinnera — 19 days ago