AITAH for asking my boyfriend to not hang out with someone problematic
This may not be serious enough for this reddit but I really would like advice, I 24M have BPD so sometimes my brain makes me way overreact so I need the internet to be my voice of reason and tell me where I'm being crazy or not.
For context my boyfriend's dad does not like me, this is because I am queer (transgender guy no surgeries) and this is my boyfriend 20M first "real" relationship and despite us dating for 2 years now his dad still actively doesn't like me, and says I'm "holding my bf back" and my bf should "test out other options" before settling down. As well as just generally making me feel hated despite all my efforts to have a positive relationship with him, going out of his way to dismiss anything I suggest unless my bf suggests it without saying it was my idea, and my bf telling him (without me prompting) that he is happy and wouldn't be with me if he wasn't.
As well as it seems majority of the people in his life don't like me for that same reason, not anything I've done, just because "how could my bf know he wants to be with a guy if he hasn't slept with other people" some even "joking" with him that he should cheat on me.
Now recently my bf's dad, who doesn't hang out with anyone other than my bf, has made a new friend, but instead of hanging out with his new friend alone he wants to hang out with his new 45-50 year old friend only with his 20 year old son, my bf. That's the first thing that weirds me out tbh, wouldn't you want to finally have friend's your age and be able to talk about things you shouldn't be talking about with your 20 year old kid? And is it crazy for me to think it's weird for a 20 year old to be hanging out with some 45 year olds?
The first time they hung out it was to help with something, as much as it super freaked me out and I told my bf how uncomfortable it made me, I understand him helping his dad help his dad's friend. But after my bf came back he told me how misogynistic and weird his dad's friend was being to his gf while they were there and in general the type of person this guy is.
Now my bf wanted to go to this guy's house again just to hang out, and with the combination of the age thing weirding me out, and his dad's strange non parent child relationship with my bf, I'm also super insecure about the fact that no one in my bf's life likes me for being queer and I can only assume a 45 or so old misogynistic dude who is friends with his dad would also hate me just like his dad does and I don't want him becoming friends with this guy! Especially because at the start of our relationship my bf was super insecure about dating a guy, ESPECIALLY being seem dating a guy, and he is super easily influenced my others opinions in general even if he denies it fully.
But when I asked him not go because it freaked me out so much that I was shaking, my bf told me it was not that big of a deal and that he didn't see where I was coming from at all.