I think I don't love my husband
(Throwaway account)
I (23F) am going through something I can’t quite figure out: I think I don’t love my husband anymore. About two months ago, we went through a severe crisis and nearly divorced. There was no big dealbreaker like infidelity, just an accumulation of unresolved resentments and unaddressed issues that strained our life together.
Because our life setup is otherwise stable, we decided to give it another shot. Things on the surface have improved a lot: we don't fight, we spend time together, and we even set goals—like spending time apart during the week doing individual activities, which has been working well.
The problem is that I feel a deep emotional emptiness inside. I’ve always been a very affectionate, physically expressive person—that was always our baseline—but now I just can't bring myself to do it. I’ve developed a physical boundary: I feel uncomfortable with his touch, and I even feel a quiet sense of distress when he comes home from work. I enjoy his company for casual conversations and neutral activities, but he feels more like a roommate or a close friend now.
He is affectionate, respectful, and attentive. We don't have financial stress or kids weighing us down. Because of this, he has noticed my distance and keeps questioning me. I don't know what to say because I feel like I don't have a 'valid reason' to give. I don't have the heart to hurt him when I'm not even sure of what I'm feeling.
To make matters more complex, I'm going through a delicate personal phase—I recently stopped taking oral contraceptives, and I'm currently navigating a major career transition, which leaves me feeling like nothing in my life is where it should be. Part of me hopes this numbness is just a temporary phase brought on by all these changes.
I would really love to hear from people who have been through this: Have you ever felt like the romantic love disappeared even when nothing appeared to be 'wrong' on paper? What did you do? Who did you talk to? How do you know if this is just emotional burnout that will pass, or the true end of the relationship?