u/Big-Currency3103

Hello everyone, I have 3 leftover Sandboxx letters that I won’t be needing anymore and I’d love to give them away. Let me know if you’re interested! First come first serve :)

Sorry in advance for the long post.

My boyfriend (19) is currently in early AIT and has decided to leave the Army due to personal and mental health reasons. He's pursuing a medical discharge, and from what we've been told, the process could take a while. Right now he's no longer training and is waiting for everything to work its way through.

He's having a really hard time mentally. On top of everything he's already dealing with, he's worried about coming home without finishing training, not having a job lined up, not having a car anymore (his parents sold it while he was away), and facing what certain people might think about his decision. Whenever he gets phone privileges, I try to reassure him that we'll figure things out together, that this doesn't change how I feel about him, and that I'm here no matter what. But I keep wondering if there's more I should be doing.

For those of you who have gone through something similar, either as the service member or the significant other, what helped the most during the discharge process? What did you wish your partner had done or not? Once he comes home, how can I support him without overwhelming him while he adjusts back to civilian life?

There's one other issue that's making this harder: My relationship with his parents has become strained over the past couple of weeks. We had some conflict during his turning green ceremony, and although I thought we had worked through it before dropping him back off, communication completely stopped after he left for AIT.

When he recently asked how things were going with his family, I told him honestly that none of us had spoken since the trip. He reached out to his mom, and she told him they had been waiting for me to contact them to see if I really wanted a relationship with them which caught me completely off guard because I genuinely thought we had left things on good terms. This leads me to believe they think I told him to come back, which he did consider me for the decision — but I never actually told him anything.

I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his family. That's the last thing I want, especially while he's already under so much stress. At the same time, the tension with his family has been affecting me too, and I know he'll eventually be coming home to all of it. I'm trying to keep things as peaceful as possible so that when he gets home, he has one less thing to worry about.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I’m at a loss of words with what’s happening to me and it almost seems like a nightmare, so I need to vent. To start, my bf (19) and I (F20) have been dating for a little over 2 months and have known each other for half a year. For reference, I have an amazing relationship with his family. He is done with bct in FT Benning in around 3 weeks.

To not make the story too long he’s been sending letters (first one mentioning this was around 2 weeks ago) where he specifically stated that he wants me to tap him out at his turning green ceremony. Before he left, his family and I all knew that it’d be his dad and honestly, the topic between us was never brought up because I felt like it was none of my business and nonsense that someone other than his dad tapped him out. I was never “offended” or felt left out by the decision. I honestly never even gave it much thought until he started bringing it up. Anyway, when he started mentioning it, I didn’t bring it up to his parents because I felt like it wasn’t my place so I asked him to clarify if he wanted me to do it and for him to tell his parents, they needed to hear it from him. Fast forward to yesterday, they finally received the letter saying he wanted me to tap him out and all hell broke loose.

I received a text from his mom at 1 AM telling that he broke their hearts and that they probably wouldn’t be going to the graduation. She started telling me that she doesn’t know what I write to him and what goes on between us. Mind you never in my life have I told him that I wanted to tap him out or to put me above his family. She also told me that he doesn’t write to the rest of his family and that she understands I’m important to him but that a simple letter would do for them. They sent him a sandboxx letter stating that they’re not going to put up with this and if they don’t hear from him soon, they’re not going because “they’re not gonna ridicule themselves and spend money to travel.” In a way I felt blamed and disrespected, when clearly, it was an independent decision and not my fault.

I think it’s selfish of them to drop their son just like that and not attend this important event. I feel like they’re backstabbing him over a decision that can simply be reversed. Only he knows what he’s going through and for him to not have anyone at all on his special day is heartbreaking. I even feel like they want me to say “you guys go, I’m not going,” which hurts the bond his fam and I created, and simply because they don’t like his decision.

This all adds to the burden that I can’t go without them. Originally we had planned to roadtrip there from Texas, rent an Airbnb, and treat it like a vacation. I’m a full time student and work part time at a bank, I can’t afford to go by myself but I don’t wanna be in a space I’m not welcomed in because they now hold resentment against me. But then again, I feel like my bf would hold it against me and I don’t wanna hurt him when he’s been waiting to see me. I’m doing everything I can but I honestly don’t know if I could go by myself, plus I’d need permission. I was so overwhelmed by her, she triggered a panic attack which led to consider breaking up with him because I don’t deserve this but that’s an easy way out and selfish.

I wanna be there for him. I’m so burdened with all of this and don’t even know how to approach the situation.

Edit: I’m not against his dad tapping him out, I’ve wanted that since the beginning, for context.

I (F20) just received a letter from my boyfriend (M19) who has been in basic for almost a month and it really has me overthinking.

Last Saturday I got a call from him and obviously my heart dropped due to the excitement. Every time I get to see his face or hear his voice during these times it’s like a breath of fresh air. It’s also safe to say that I’m not a very expressive person. For example, when I answered his call I said “hello” with a fairly enthusiastic tone but he did not see it that way. I show that I love him a lot, both in person and through the letters. He’s literally all I talk and think about anywhere I go.

In this letter he says that he’s been overthinking because he did not see the same enthusiasm compared to his mom who freaked out and cried when she picked up. He says that he’s doing this for the both of us and our future which he has no idea how much I appreciate it. He also mentioned that he has been told that we won’t make it by others in his company (ik, rude). I completely understand that they need as much support and love as they can get and I feel as though that’s what I’ve given him and more.

I will obviously be supportive when responding but this letter really left me with a gut wrenching feeling. Not sure how to exactly feel nor do.

Okay so, I had already made a post relating to this but I just got some news today…

My boyfriend has been in bct for a little over a week and for the longest time I thought the letters he had sent since reception were lost or just taking a long time to deliver. Didn’t know if it was due to it being an apartment or any other reason. Well today I got a letter from him letting me know that he’s been missing a key element — there’s 11 letters that do not have the apartment number.

All he writes on the envelopes is the address. No name, no return address. In the letter, he urges me to try to retrieve the letters because he’s been emotionally struggling with the fact that he knows I never received those letters and feels like a disappointment. I obviously hate that he feels like this, specially during such a physically and mentally demanding time.

My question is, is there a way to go to the post office and ask for those letters? If not, what can I do? They obviously won’t get back to him because there’s no return address. This might seem like a dumb or pointless question but I’m desperate and those letters are the only thing connecting me directly to him, besides his family.

Edit: I really don’t wanna build resentment (because that’d be so selfish) for not hearing from him but like I said, letters are the only thing we have and I hadn’t heard from him in weeks when he has a whole notebook with my exact address in sharpie. Idk maybe I’m spiraling lol.

My boyfriend just started bct and therefore left reception around 1 week ago. During his first week at reception he had sent out letters to me and his family. They got them last Friday and I still haven’t gotten anything. It’s going on 2 weeks and I’m afraid those letters got lost. I also have the informed delivery app but nothing. I’m not sure if the fact that I live in an apartment and they’re in a house affects the delivery process. Is there any chance of me still getting them or should I just accept I’m never getting them? Kinda difficult since I haven’t heard a word from him since our face time during his first week. Help a girl out