Wife wants our first child to be with her ex-boyfriend who has passed away. AIO?
Hello. I’m using a throwaway account in case anyone recognizes my situation.
I’ve been with my wife for about 8 years now. 3 of them married. We’re both in our early 30’s and have been talking about starting the whole family thing since we are both in a comfortable financial place.
She’s been open to having kids the entire time I knew her but recently she dropped a bombshell on me about that.
First, some quick background info: She has an ex-boyfriend who passed away 11 years ago now. I’ve been aware of this since I met her. It’s never gotten in the way of our relationship and she’s brought him up before but in healthy ways. Never seemingly longing for him.
So as for the bombshell. She told me last night that he froze his sperm shortly before he passed away. She said that she made an agreement with him that she’d use his sperm to get pregnant and raise the kid with another partner after he’s gone.
She still wants to have kids with me, but she wants to honor his memory and fulfill her promise to have his kid first.
My biggest issue is why is this only coming up now? We’ve had so long to discuss this. She said she only brought it up now since we were serious about kids. I said I was serious about that before we were even engaged.
Ive never had an issue with this past relationship but something just isn’t sitting right with me on this. We’re not fighting or anything but we aren’t done talking about this. I’m more confused and worried than anything right now.
AIO?
Edit:
Some people seem to be confused as to why he’d freeze his sperm before he passed away. He knew that his time was short because he was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer and donated his sperm before starting chemo therapy. I believe he died within 3-4 months after finishing his first round of chemo.
Other people have brought up how it was stored and paid for. I didn’t even consider this and honestly I don’t know. Her family is well off and still connects with his parents occasionally. It’s possible they’ve been paying for the storage. I’m honestly not sure.