Does anyone else really struggle with being present in the moment? And therefore feeling like a bad friend?
I really struggle with being present, as the title suggests. I’ve recently realized that this is at least partially because of constantly ruminating on things, and being unable to fully be active in the moment because I am thinking about something else. I do also have adhd, which could be part of this but really it’s mostly just constantly worrying about what I should be doing, that something is going wrong somewhere else and I should be doing something about it (as in, something bad has happened to one of my loved ones and I should be checking on them) or that I am running out of time. I have a big obsession with “time”.
I’ve also realized that sometimes this leads me to avoiding even being with my friends because I am worried that I am going to want to leave, or that they’ll notice I’m not being very interesting/present or worse that they’ll get annoyed that I’m only talking about myself. (Which, this isn’t even true!)
Most of the time when I do see my friends I am actually able to have a good time, but it’s more so I guess an anxiety that leads me to avoidance. Does any of this make sense?
My brain is such a jumble of diagnosis and I’m also recently in recovery for substance abuse too, so this may not even be the right subreddit for it I just wanted to know if anyone relates to this, I guess.