Me (18F) received a hey girly message from the ex (20F) of a guy (21M) I’ve been seeing for a month. . Who do I believe, the ex of 3 years or the older guy I’ve been seeing for a month?
TL;DR: Hey girly message from an ex
He had told me that he had been in no-contact with his ex (20F) of 3 years, broke up in May, and that he was sure he wanted to be with me and just didn’t want to rush into things with me.
Today, I received a message from an unknown iCloud mail, asking if I was open to speak and that she had something she thought I might’ve wanted to know about the guy I’m seeing. She was very kind, and even wrote in the message that if I didn’t want to hear any of it that would be okay as well. She asks to call, and confirms that she is THE ex, that he has been talking about. She told me that they infact weren’t in no-contact, atleast not for the timeline that he stated to me. He had told me that they were in no-contact, and he had blocked her everywhere, which she stated was not true as they spoke together last today. She said that she was the one who actually ended up blocking him as soon as she found out I was in the picture, because she finds it wrong in any situation to be in contact with an ex while seeing someone new.
She told me things he had told her, which was the polar opposite of what he had told me. He had told her before she blocked him that he was unsure of what he wanted with me, and what was really going on between me and him, but that yes there was something. That was when she blocked him, and was in zero contact until today (that was friday last week and now it’s wednesday). Some irrelevant drama happened today in regards junkie related things, not gonna say everything here but someone tried to expose him as a “pedo” for seeing me, even though I just turned 18. He was begging her to not believe anything that was said, saying he still loved her and that she needed to help him get out of this etc. They then called for an hour, and she told him about her seeing some new guy, and apparently he had said to her if he sees them in public he will gather his boys and beat him up (she had video recording proof of all that was said). It felt crazy hearing his own voice say these things.
She also opened up about them actively hooking up from their breakup until just a few weeks ago, when he just started seeing me. She told me about him cheating on her multiple times, and told me to watch his behaviour and not to trust what he says, which I quickly understood when she came with real proof that contradicts everything he told me ever. He had always been quite guarded with his phone.
She was very adamant that she was absolutely not doing this with ill intent, and absolutely did not want him back, but had a bad gut feeling since I was still so young and not even finished high school while he is working full time on weekly rotating shifts. She made sure that it be known that she doesn’t want to ruin anything, but wanted me to know because once upon a time she was in my position but no one had warned her, and it became hard to leave when they had been together for a long time. She gave me her social media, and told me that if there was anything that I ever wondered about, that I can ask her and not be ashamed. She had a lot of proof that what she was saying was truthful, and I could hear on the phone that she was very nervous and hesitant about even getting involved, but she stated had she just kept quiet she would explode of guilt for not saying anything. She wanted me to keep quiet about her contacting me to him as well…