“M29 struggling with emotional consistency in relationship with F24”
M29 dating F24, and we’re planning to get married soon. I genuinely love her and see a future with her, but recently she told me something that hit hard — that my actions don’t match my words.
A lot of our fights happen because I sometimes go silent, sleep without talking properly, or don’t handle emotional conversations well. From my side, I never mean to make her feel ignored, but from her side it feels like I only show up when it’s convenient for me and pull away when things get difficult.
I don’t think she’s wrong for feeling that way, and I want to improve before marriage because I know emotional consistency matters a lot in a long-term relationship.
People who’ve been in successful relationships/marriages — how did you learn to communicate better during conflicts and make your partner feel emotionally secure through actions, not just words?