u/Biscottibabe123

This is driving me nuts and I’ve posted versions of my query in other subs, figured maybe I can get some fresh eyes on it if this is allowed. I’ve edited this thing over 50 times and at this point feel like I’m beating a dead horse.

Questions:

do you get the overall impact of the manuscript?

Does it feel too long?

How is the metadata?

Is it too vague, or too detailed?

Any additional feedback would be greatly appreciated.

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I am seeking representation for my novel, THE ROAD BACK TO YOU, a dual-POV and dual timeline contemporary romance complete at 73,000 words. It will appeal to readers of Ashley Posten’s The Dead Romantics for its exploration of grief and complicated family dynamics, and Carley Fortune’s Meet Me At The Lake for its emotionally charged second-chance romance. With an emotional impact similar to YUNGBLUD’s Zombie, the novel explores the weight of profound grief and asks whether love is enough to help someone find their way back to themselves after loss.

Grief counselor Grace Kennelly is still reeling three months after a whirlwind night with Nick, the man who almost made her believe in soulmates; that is, until he ghosted her. What Grace doesn’t know is that, on the very same night they met, Nick’s father tragically dies—the real reason for his disappearance. Determined to move on, Grace accepts an invitation for a weekend away with a new man who holds the promise of the fresh start she’s looking for. There’s just one catch: his siblings will be joining them.  

The problem? The man is Nick's younger brother. 

Nick is not the same man he was three months ago; he’s perfected the art of shutting people out while battling with the all-consuming guilt that his father’s death may have been his fault. Already drowning under insurmountable grief and the weight of inheriting the family business, the last thing he expects is his younger brother to bring Grace—the woman who reminds him of that tragic night and all that he lost—along for the weekend.

Forced into close proximity, Grace and Nick must navigate the weekend together while ignoring the undeniable pull between them. Grace must decide whether to pursue the charming man that she was meant to spend the weekend with, or open up her heart again to the man who once broke it. Nick must decide whether protecting his relationship with his brother is worth losing Grace a second time, or risk everything for the chance to reclaim both the love—and the life—he abandoned to grief.

I am a debut novelist and longtime romance book lover from Long Island, New York. When I’m not writing happily ever afters, you can find me spending time with my beautiful family or pursuing other creative passions, such as cake decorating. 
Thank you for your time and consideration,

Angela Adams

This is my second attempt that’s actually gotten posted, but third attempt as a whole. Query comes in at exactly 300 words. Open to critique especially because the first post- while had amazing advice- only got one comment. I’m fairly new to Reddit, not sure how to get attraction to your post. Thank you!

_______

I am seeking representation for my novel, THE ROAD BACK TO YOU, a dual-POV and dual timeline contemporary romance complete at 73,000 words. It carries the weight of grief and complicated family dynamics similar to Ashley Posten’s The Dead Romantics, while appealing to readers rooting for second-chance love similar to Carley Fortune’s Meet Me At The Lake. 

Three months after a whirlwind night of romantic spontaneity with charismatic Nick Ross, grief counselor Grace Kennelly is still reeling from his sudden disappearance. Determined to move on from that night and the promises it held, she’s introduced to Noah—a charming man who may be the perfect distraction. The problem? Noah is Nick’s younger brother. 

Drowning beneath the sudden loss of his father and the weight of inheriting the family business, Nick is not the same man he was three months ago; he’s perfected the art of shutting people out while battling with all-consuming guilt that his father’s death may have been his fault. Seeing Grace again only reminds him of everything he lost that tragic night—his father, the promise of a future with her, and himself. 

As old feelings resurface and family loyalties become impossible to ignore, Grace must decide whether to continue down the safe path that she’s on with Noah, or risk reopening the wounds Nick left behind. But before either of them can have a second chance, Nick must decide whether he’ll keep letting grief define him—or fight for a way back to the man he was before the devastation.

I am a debut novelist and longtime romance book lover from Long Island, New York. When I’m not writing happily ever afters, you can find me spending time with my beautiful family or pursuing other creative passions, such as cake decorating. 

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Hi! I am currently querying my first novel to agents and would love some feedback as well as welcoming any opportunities that may come from this! Thank you for reading!

—

I am seeking representation for my novel, THE ROAD BACK TO YOU, a dual-POV and dual timeline contemporary romance complete at 73,000 words. 

After a whirlwind night of spontaneity through the bustling streets of Brooklyn, licensed social worker and grief counselor Grace Kennelly is left confused, embarrassed, and downright angry when Nick- the man who almost made her believe in soulmates- ghosts her. So when charming Noah Ross invites her to a weekend road trip with his siblings, Grace accepts, determined to move on from the night that still has her reeling three months later. On paper, Noah seems like the perfect distraction. 

The problem: Noah is Nick’s younger brother. 

Drowning beneath the sudden loss of his father and the weight of inheriting the family business, Nick is not the same man he was three months ago. And seeing Grace again only reminds him of everything he lost that tragic night- his father, the promise of a future with her, and himself. 

Grace and Nick must navigate the weekend together in close proximity, while trying to ignore the attraction that is still pulling at them both. Nick, still drowning in grief, is convinced he can’t give Grace what she deserves. He must face his grief head-on if he wants a chance at forgiveness- and a second chance to steal her heart- at the risk of fracturing the already tumultuous bond the brothers share. 

THE ROAD BACK TO YOU combines the emotional depth of Meet Me By The Lake by Carley Fortune, with the romantic tension and complicated family dynamics of Jenny Han’s The Summer I Turned Pretty, and explores the complicated timing of grief, healing, and second chances. 

I am a debut novelist and longtime romance book lover. 

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Angela Adams

First 300:

**Prologue**

Running a little late- be there soon. Please, for the love of God, don’t leave.

I took another sip of my latte, which was now cold and almost finished, as I checked my phone for what felt like the tenth time in the last two minutes. 

The home screen displayed in blaring technicolor the timing of his last text and just how late this guy was. I debated typing out a text to him, but then quickly decided not to. 

No, I wasn’t going to text him. If he wasn’t here in ten minutes, I was simply going to leave. I refused to lower my standards by begging or sounding desperate. 

The early autumn sun had set behind the buildings over a half hour ago, drenching the streets in darkness outside, which made it increasingly hard to see if anyone was walking down the busy Brooklyn sidestreets. The bell on top of the cafe doors chimed and I craned my neck to see a woman, probably in her late 40s, with two small children in tow walking into the shop. She looked as frazzled as I felt as she ushered her tiny look-alikes in and begged them to lower their voices as they waited in line, demanding hot chocolate. 

I huffed in frustration and sat back, the leather making an obnoxious squeaking beneath me as I squirmed in the armchair. The person sitting next to me, an older woman with a mini schnauzer sitting quietly by her feet, gave me a quizzical, almost nasty look before turning back to the novel she clutched in her aging hands. My face flamed; it’s not like *she* knew I was waiting for someone. 

Was I being that obvious? 

It was the twenty-first century; couldn’t a single girl sit in a cafe and get a cup of coffee alone without being judged?