New Roomates Anxiety
Hi! I’ve never made a post on here but I’ve seen lots of helpful advice being given out concerning just about anything. Personally, I am looking for ways to help ease/get comfy in this new home i’ll be moving into next month with fellow students at my university. A few years ago I lived in a home with 4 other girls, the same thing I’ll be doing this year. Unfortunately it was not a good situation, they were extremely bitchy/high school bully vibes. I did all my chores, kept my space and common areas clean, even cleaned after them at times and didn’t complain about how they liked to decorate these common areas/have people over without asking etc. Nonetheless, they were so bored with their own lives they’d even make fun of each other for things like how a certain roomate would fill up the coffee maker. It was extremely toxic, and now I’m afraid to be in a situation like this again. I was always super open and even sat them all down one day to talk about the vibes of the house, half of them were chill but there were two girls that were just, honestly, sour with everything. Basically, as me and my new roomates are texting about things for the house i’m feeling my anxiety rise again because my old ones were extremely passive aggressive, and even though these ones don’t feel remotely how the old ones were when I initially met them, I can’t help but regress. I have had many battles with ptsd, depression and anxiety and it’s taken me forever to get back on my feet, get into my dream program and even ponder moving in with other people again; I did it and am very proud of myself, but I don’t want to let pettiness and a hostile home environment stop me from doing what I need to do for myself. Last time I got so depressed I had to go home early and that’s simply not an option again, I want good things for myself but also for our home. I’m someone that will calmly bring up things to come to a compromise and ask others of their perspective to solve issues and if by chance I encounter one or more of my new roomates who approach things in a petty/passive aggressive way, I need some advice of how I could disarm or calm the environment again. This is also with the acknowledgment that I cannot control others, but more for the preservation of my own mental health so I can complete school and try to have a good time regardless. I appreciate any thoughts, thank you guys so much! I definitely rambled but any advice on how to ease anticipatory anxiety and also how to get a good vibe going in the house would be great!