r/roommates

Looking to rent a room in our home. Small town in Missouri. Has to be non-smoker. In need of someone that can stay with our dog if we are at work and a thunderstorm pops up. So must like dogs. Real good dog, but big fear of thunder.

I'm a single dad with a 16 yo son. We are working together and having to adjust our schedule on weather forecasts and its causing problems.

Big house (5 br 2 1/2 bath) that is a work in progress. Definitely livable though. Central air and wifi and all of that stuff. Thinking maybe there is an older person out there that doesn't quite have ends meeting and needs an opportunity. Have extra bedrooms so maybe even another single parent. Open on that. Just need to be honest and can't steal.

Room is big and furnished. Feel free to ask any questions.

So I (28F) moved in with one of my best friends (28F) last year. We both got an apartment together, we’re both on the lease and both pay the same amounts. However, she try’s to control who I have over and when. I have been seeing a guy for almost a year now and him and I have both agreed my place is more comfortable to be at due to him having gross male roommates. Ever since we’ve moved in she’s had a problem with him coming over because she doesn’t “know” him even though they’ve shared convo here and there and have said hello multiple times. Him and I stay in my room EVERYTIME we hangout with the door closed, we never have ever used the living room. The only time we leave my room is to go to the kitchen to grab a drink or food. We try to be very mindful of sound and will lower the tv very low at night as well to be respectful. Thing is, he comes over maybe 2-3x a week after work, we both have one day off a week where we will spend the whole day together but it’s mostly just evenings. She feels like this is too much? She never leaves the house so therefore him and I never get privacy, shoot I don’t even get privacy myself. She asked me not to have him over on Sundays because of the beginning of the work week, which I accidentally had him over this past Sunday and I guess that just ticked her off even though again we just stay in my room. My thing is, I do everyyything around the house. I do the trash, I do all of the dishes majority of the time I even have to wash her dirty dishes off because she just sets them in the sink with food still on them, I have been the only one ever to vacuum/sweep/mop the floors, I constantly am wiping the counters down in the kitchen because she leaves messes on them. So my thing is, am I being unreasonable for thinking I should be allowed to have my ONE guest over a few times a week considering how much of a load I carry around this place? I do not work from home so therefore I spend majority of my time at work and even then for her to be home basically everyday she won’t pick up. I’m just kind of at a loss for words because this is a very close friend of mine but I feel like she is trying to control me and put me out to be the bad guy for having my partner over.

Throw away account because we both love reddit. I really just want a perspective on if I'm leaning into micro-managing, even though I haven't said anything. Just been festering in my brain, which is never good.

I'm starting to find myself feeling passive aggressive when it comes to house work, and I'm a relatively confrontational person. If I dont take the trash or set it out, it's not taken. If I don't start the dishwasher, it's not starting. If I don't refill the dish soap, it's sitting empty. If I don't wipe down the counters or the stove, the same stains and crumbs will be there the next X amount of days. I've even tried writing down on sticky notes chore reminders, or the shared items we need.. texted, or told in person, nothing. I still end up being the one to get it and am met with a "Wow, how do you do it all?!". Now I do work from home, but I work very long hours. They are out of the home for work or other events more than I am. I'd still say they are home a very normal or standard amount, as in plenty of opportunity to do some sort of community living chores.

They are not a dirty person by any means, we keep a clean and nice space. But I find myself feeling constantly overwhelmed, feeling like if I just stopped doing these things they wouldn't happen or would take an over extended period of time. I feel guilty for starting to give that energy back by trying to do less and give them a chance to fill in the gaps, maybe I'm just too on it. But that's the thing, I do let dishes sit in the sink for a couple days (to soak of course! lol) and I'm not always on it and they don't give me problem. I do the same for them on these minor things, we are only human afterall. This is different, we used to be able to have conversation that "We both always get to it sooner than later so as long as things are getting done", but I haven't felt that way in a while. At the time I agreed and did not feel any imbalance in effort.

I have ADHD, work an extremely demanding job that often puts me at 65+ hours a week, and don't want my burnout to be a projection on them. I know the resolution = conversation. I know their perspective is "I don't care things always get done" so that's why I feel they would take it negatively from me asking "Are you waiting for me to do these things, or are you just forgetting? Or what the hell is it?" Or should I do my best to stay in my lane, proceed as usual with doing things around the house, and lean into the "let them" of it all for the sake of my own mental. If you've made it this far, thank you.

ETA: A main concern is wondering if there is an underlying weaponization of incompetence going on. They've told me they don't know how to clean the oven. I've told them how and showed them what I use. They also can "never remember" which is why I try multiple avenues of reminding them, but at that point I always end up feeling like with that amount of energy I could have just done it myself. Is that the mission? Or am I driving myself insane

If any open minded females in Tx wanna help out a sex offender with a place to live msg me I'm a male 25yrs old.

Sanity check please.

I own a 2k square foot home with the living/dining/kitchen area in the middle with two large1bed/1bath on either side. I let my ex move back in with me as roommates 1 year after we broke up.

I work from home at the dining table and they knew this when they moved back in. The place I work is 25 feet from their bedroom door. They have asked that I not work in common space, even when they are not using it, because it makes them feel bad to have to ask to use it. There is nothing stopping them from using the common space when I work or asking me to move for a specific reason, etc.  And when they have asked, I have accommodated. They just don't want me to work there because it makes them feel bad to have to ask, and they don't like that I am working "down the hall" from their bedroom, and they think I am being inconsiderate. I don't have a desk anywhere else, they have a desk in their bedroom. They want me to furnish a currently empty room to work in. Financially this isn't possible.

I haven’t responded but I want to respond with something like “How you feel about asking for what you want is not my responsibility. If I am in the common space and if you want to use it exclusively, then ask, or just use the space with me. I will not be avoiding the common space just because you don’t like having someone in there when you are not using it.”

Sanity check that I am being reasonable or an explanation as to why I'm not? Suggested response?

edited for clarity

Me and said friend have been friends for over a year, and we’re both getting ready for college. we wanna go to the same college so he asked if i wanted to be roommates with him. my initial thought a were: oh my gosh the coolest person ever wants to be roommates! we have a lot in common and think the same so agreements wouldn’t be an issue. plus we’re both organized and like our own space. But, i come from a VERY conservative family, and to them boy+girl+roommates=relationship. Neither of us feel that way and we’ve made it clear so i don’t see that being an issue. my family likes to be in my space a lot so im worried they’ll gossip about me for YEARS if i go through with this. It doesn’t sound big but it is at family dinners or holidays which i genuinely can’t miss out on without being iced out from the family.
Another concern is that hes gone to private school his whole life and had access to some of the best educational opportunities, while i’ve been in public school my entire life. Our education is different and sometimes he makes me feel inferior because of it. not directly but he’ll say “your school is SO easy!! u have (insert super complicated class) and (insert super advanced program)!! all you do is basic stuff”. It’s just small stuff that makes me feel stupid and i’m scared that if we go to the same college and live together, where he’ll see me do homework or study, he’ll just keep saying how much easier my stuff is. idk what to do

So there is a girl that I've known for a few years now, and I used to be cool with her, but over time I've started to become annoyed by how she acts and treats other people. She is part of my friend group, but I personally try to avoid contact with her because she is entitled and refuses to take no for an answer without pitching a fit. We're going to the same college next year and I found another roommate specifically to tell her that I could not be her roommate, but she has applied for the same suite-style housing as my roommate and I, and is now trying to ask what suite we're going to select so she can be our suite mate. Since we're going to be in the same housing building, and seeing each other in classes, I don't want to cause her to flip out and be weird about it to me or my roommate (who also knows her, but agreed that we should not suite with her). We've been politely declining her offers to room, but I'm at a loss. I'm considering just not responding to her message asking what room we're going for, but that's too low for me to stoop. I guess I just need some help on how to word a message to her that gives a reasonable and non-drama-inducing reason for her to NOT suite with us.

To be clear, I'm okay telling her no or rejecting her, I'm primarily trying to avoid causing ripples in the friend group or making her get all pissy and annoying all of next year.

UPDATE: I told her that we had it figured out already, then said she should talk to other people to find out what their plans are. Luckily, she didn't seem to get too upset, just said "okay lol" and started asking about other stuff. I chose not to disclose any information about where we will.be housing because I don't want her to get any ideas.

My roommate and I live in a hostel. We are both in college, in the same class and section. She currently has a long-distance boyfriend, but she is known to be a cheater. She was making out with one of my friends in the group. Despite that, we have an internship going on now. The person she used to make out with is no longer in contact. However, she is now talking to a guy she apparently met on Telegram—I don't know what's happening there. Apart from all this, over the past five to ten days, she has been behaving very strangely. She plays songs on her laptop without earphones and seems to stay with someone on video calls or sends pictures to them, and this has been happening every day. She angled her laptop so she thought she wasn't visible, but she was. She was touching her chest and taking about twenty pictures of her breasts from outside. I don't care what she does, but it's becoming frustrating. I don't know what she's up to. I want to know what I can do and what she is actually doing—why she always plays songs before starting a video call or taking pictures. Is she online on some site or what? Like I don't care but I'm just pissed off now. She is with me in an internship as well, as wellso she thinks I'm foolish as I don't get anything.

[supprimé]

Hi I’m a 19 year old girl transferring from a college in nyc to study biomedical engineering at UB this fall. I’m looking for a roommate who will be a sophomore for this fall. (Also looking for friends)

I’m a huge concert goer, foodie, and cinephile. I’m open to a lot of things.

I’m pretty clean and I’d prefer a roommate who is the same too but I’m not a super clean freak. Just wanna be with someone who keeps tidy, throws away trash accordingly (like no food in trash that will make room smell or is piling up like crazy), isn’t in dorm 24/7 and wants to go out and do stuff (like outdoorsy activities, concerts, roadtrips, partying) chill with overnight guests, spontaneous, overall just wanna be with someone fun but also takes their education seriously at the end of the day.

I'm Ben, 40, divorced, quiet, and Christian. I'm leaving Texas with my Great Pyrenees mix, Dolly Parton, and I'm searching for a real work-for-housing setup.

I've worked since I was 16 and I've done pretty much everything when it comes to handyman work. You name it, I've done it. I might not be a master, but I've done it. For the last 20 years my career focus has been restaurants. I was hard on my body back in the day through actions and decisions. I've started taking better care of myself, but I did some damage and I'm paying for it now. I can absolutely still do physical work. I just can't grind 8 to 10 hours straight anymore. I might take a little longer, but it'll be done right, and possibly in a way you never thought of.

I'm not looking for one specific job title. If you need a trustworthy person living on your property, I'm open to it: estate caretaking, house and pet sitting, vacation home watch, property maintenance, tech and network setup, security, cooking, you name it.

What I actually bring:

• Tech comfortable: home networking, Wi-Fi, cameras, smart home. I'm working on AI and networking certs now and I learn fast. I -CAN- bring a homemade security system I can expand to fit your place.
• (I guess people are taking the above out of context so let me explain.)
• I live in a home where I rent a room and the landlord made clear "You are responsible for your own security. If something gets stolen, I ain't paying for it." So I made one, I am meaning this as an example of ingenuity. I am sorry, I don't think creepy. So I don't realize how things come across. I apologize.
• 20 years in kitchens: I cook real food, not fine dining: seafood, Southern, Mexican, Italian. Give me your grandma's recipe and I'll bring it back to life.
• General maintenance: light repairs, painting, gardening, property checks. I have my own tools and I'm very knowledgeable. What I don't know, I have the sense to say, "I don't know, but I can find out." If I still can't do it, I'll be honest and help you find someone who can. I know agriculture and farming, I was raised on a Southern farm, but I'm not looking for full-time ranch-hand work.
• Background: I pass any background check, clean record even at the federal level. I have a copy from a few years ago I can share, and I'll provide whatever you need for a fresh one.
• Insurance: I carry renter's insurance for myself and for Dolly.
• Lifestyle: I smoke outside only if that's the rule, no problem. Zero alcohol, zero parties. No live-in girlfriend or extra people moving in.

My pupper! Dolly is an 82-pound Great Pyrenees mix, fully vetted, zero bite history, zero destruction, and insured. She's calm in the house except for the occasional zoomies, and she loves kitties. She was raised by cats and it shows. I long for open space for her to run.

My dream fit, putting it out there because why not: a large, fully fenced property, that thousand-acre ranch you're thinking of, where Dolly can safely run off-leash for the first time in her life, with an ATV or UTV for fence checks, room for photography, and Starlink internet so I can keep up with my research, reading, writing, developing, inventing, and creating. I'll ride the line, take pictures while I'm checking fence, and treat the place like it's mine. That's what I'm praying for.

For money, I'll be working a regular job to pay my bills alongside this, unless you have a spot that pays a wage on top of the housing. I'm happy to do full-time live-in if the pay is there.

Message me and I'll send references, insurance info, background info, and plenty more pictures of my beautiful girl.

P.S. I'm actively looking right now and I check messages often, so I'll reply to DMs quickly. My landlord just told me they're selling the place, so my timeline to move is short. If you think it could be a good fit, please reach out. I'm ready to talk anytime.

EDITED: I didn't mean creepy. So I explained myself. AND deleted my comments because now I understand the hesitation and concern. My apologies.

Haii! My name is Traci (19F), and I'm looking for someone to let me move in with them. I would pay some rent and I can cook / clean. I live in Jackson, MO. Im 420 friendly, love making art, nature lover. lmk if ur interested!

My roommate (we will call her Debby) and I are both in our mid to late 20s, we both work full time and we are both taking college courses plus we each have a child under 10. For the last 9 months of our lease Debby has been scream crying loudly in our apartment at least bimonthly. She does this in the kitchen, on the balcony, in the bathroom, and in her room, always loud enough for it to be heard from any room in the apartment. She has done this on Christmas Eve when I had company over and has done it on other occasions where we had company and all of my friends have heard it at least one. I have approached her multiple times when she’s doing this and asked if she’s alright and she never replies or really says anything, she just stops temporarily but then often starts back up. I’ve avoided saying anything about it because if she doesn’t want to talk to me about it then I think it’s best to just let her do her thing as long as it’s not affecting the kids.

The most recent time she scream cried it woke up my daughter who texted me “is Debby okay?” off her watch (the kind where she can only text and call me in case of emergencies.) The scream crying also woke up my partner but he is not a roommate technically since he doesn’t live with us so idk if that matters. I went out to the kitchen where she was scream crying and asked if she was alright. She didn’t say anything and just stopped. I returned to my room and maybe 10 minutes later when everyone was back asleep I heard her call her mom and begin loudly complaining to her about how she “got home so late and now has to clean the kitchen after someone else and everyone else gets to come home and relax.” This aggravated me because Debby was speaking loud enough to ensure she was heard through my closed door. For additional context she hadn’t been home for a week after leaving me a sink full of dishes and not having helped clean the apartment for MONTHS and there was less than a dishwasher load of dishes in the sink and a dishwasher I had already emptied. So, I went out to the kitchen and said “if the dishes are going to cause you this much stress you don’t have to do them, you can leave them for me. No one said you had to do them right now.” Admittedly I use d pretty stern tone and I did probably sound mean because I was so upset and confrontation makes me really nervous. She said something along the lines of “It wasn’t about the dishes I was having a panic attack and now I’m talking to my mom” though the exact wording escapes me because I was very anxious at this point. We did not speak for the rest of the evening and I texted her in the morning. We have not spoken since that night in person and all communication has been through texts which I have attached a link to the screen shots in the comments which is where the actual meat of this issue is. It has escalated pretty far and I’d just like to know if I’ve been unreasonable or unfeeling in this.

I live in a hostel with roommates and recently things have become weird between us.

Few months ago I went to the warden asking for a room change because I wanted a quieter place to study. It wasn’t against them personally, I just wanted my own space. I even told them later that I might shift to which they agreed, but the room never got allotted so we kept sharing the same room.

I’m naturally a quiet person and usually keep things to myself .i don't like gossiping or talking about ppl like they did .i hatedddd being part of that group ah .I used to talk and laugh normally with other people. After this they started saying my behavior changed and that I clearly had a problem with them from the start.

Then small things suddenly became big issues lights being on, doors left open, etc. I agreed sometimes lights stayed on because I study too, but they also keep lights on late at night sometimes, so it’s not like only I did these things. I mean these things were done by themselves too.

And honestly I did try adjusting. Many times I studied in the balcony or in someone else’s room just so there would be less disturbance and no conflict.

What bothered me more was that instead of talking normally, sometimes they would just shout or use gaalis over small things. I stayed quiet for a long time and never really replied back, but recently during another argument I finally said if there’s an issue then say it directly instead of yelling and verbally abusing me. I feel like i ruined the friendship/bond etc .

Now we barely talk. They keep saying they helped me a lot and that I never adjusted but I'm sure I must have done things for them too but it was never really mentioned, and I honestly don’t know what to feel anymore. I feel guilty sometimes, but also really drained .right now I got no friends ,everything seems like messs everyone staring at me as if I did something wrong.

How do I get this to stop? I’m tired of waking up and seeing a new man every day on the couch. I love my roommate, but the friend she brings over has some questionable men over.

Am I in the wrong for being annoyed as she is there every night with a new guy and it’s not like they pay rent since they r my roommate’s friends.

Also, this girl cries when confronted so I’m not too sure how to go about this.

so an advice for every new fresher out there: I’m from a PRESTIGIOUS COLLEGE, and when I got into this college, I came across a WhatsApp GC in which we all were from the same batch. I wanted to find my roommate before coming to college so I could avoid getting a random stupid kid as my roommate, and I came across a guy who was really nice and charismatic, and at that moment I knew he was the guy I wanted as my roommate. So it was finalized, and when I first met this guy, it was really good. I felt like I got the best roommate ever. The only problem was he was not cleaning the room. I thought maybe he would clean it after a week or maybe after exams or some other occasion, but it never happened. My room is still dirty af. I could see mouldy roti on his table (idk from where he got those roti), and dirty underwear on the floor. I asked him to clean all this mess, but he kept postponing it. Moreover, he used to come into my room late at night, nearly at 4 or 5 am, and during that time I was usually sleeping, and whenever he came in, that would result in some disturbance, disturbing my sleep. When I dug deep into why he used to come late, I came across the fact that he had a girlfriend and they used to do PDA. To be frank, it was nearly public sex every day (how I’m sure they used to have sex, I will tell u later).

Now all that dirty room resulted in my friends refusing to come into my room. Btw, my roommate was also friends with my friends, but they sidelined him as he was such a creep. Bro used to put stories like “I love armpit,” “I will put period blood on your armpit and lick it,” and a lot more, one intimate video with a Lay packet btw, and the creepiest thing a guy could do: that guy called a girl nearly 50 times just to talk with her, and she was not even his gf. But the main disturbing, mind-fucking part came in when I was sleeping and woke up at 10 am, and I saw him on his bed masturbating while making noises. I tried to act like I was trying to wake up and thought maybe he would stop, but bro did not stop until he finished. He masturbated in his underwear, then removed it, threw it on the ground, and went to sleep. That shit traumatized me. How many underwears lying around are crusty and covered in his dry cum? All this made me full of stress. No clean room meant I had to study somewhere else. I took refuge in my friend’s room, stayed there for a month, and when I came back, the room was the same as before, with more underwears. This resulted in me having a panic attack. All this stuff happened in 5 months btw.

Now how do I know that this guy does public sex? Because I had heard rumors. I thought maybe they were not true, but when I was trying to clean the room, I saw that in his bag, which was open, there were packets of condoms in it, and that concludes my story. Now I’m applying to change my roommate, and now a piece of advice: don’t go for the online charisma of a person. People are different from what they are in real life and on the internet. CHOOSE YOUR FUCKING ROOMMATE WISELY.

Looking to extend my current lease at Archstone Apartment Fremont or sign a new one with someone. Budget is 1700 per person. If you are interested please DM me.

My BF just came back from LDR. First week back he did sleep over 3 days in a row. I hadn’t seen him for 5 months. I understand 3 nights back to back is a bit much and apologized and said it will not be a regular thing.

The next week he stayed over once, then the next day was over for 4 hours and left at midnight. He then slept over again 4 days later.

Before we discuss more, I just want to get others insight. Through text and in person, last night it seemed like my roommate was displeased with my BF sleeping over a second night during the week and texted me that him coming over for those 4 hours counted as sleeping over to them.

The general consensus I saw online was that sleep overs are fine if they are within a weekend amount of days. I would assume that would be about 2-3 days anyways so I should be fine??

Not only that we never go into shared spaces. Just my room. Never the living room, or kitchen. I even have my own bathroom and fridge. He only uses the front door, but hell. If this is truly a problem, I can even start bringing him in through my sliding door so he doesn’t disrupt anyone in the home.

I have lived with my roommate (both 31F) for about 8 years (4 different apartments). Things have always gone relatively well. In October 2025 we started our most recent lease in a new apartment. In December, she met her now boyfriend. From about January - April she was staying regularly at his house, sometimes for weeks at a time.

I can admit, I had it lucky because I was essentially living alone for those few months, while she was still paying her share of the rent. In the last month, her boyfriend moved out of his apartment , back in with his parents. Which has resulted in him being at our apartment full time (they are both currently unemployed). This means literally every waking moment I have at home, they are both there, including his dog. There are nights when he is up playing video games until 4 in the morning when I have to wake up early the next day.

Do I have a right to be upset? My roommates take is that since I was living alone those few months that this is fair. But in my opinion , it was her choice to not come home all those months, and I did not sign up to live with an additional person and pet who is not on the lease .