u/DrawingAdventurous65

I recently got into a fight with my housemate over my boyfriend.

I (22F) recently got together with my boyfriend (24M) and we live in the same University compound together. I live in an all female house with 4 other girls and my boyfriend lives in an all male house. Because I am Muslim, I am uncomfortable going over to his house to hang out so he comes over to my house instead. All of my housemates have no issue with him coming over whenever he wants to except for 1 of them. She would ask for me to inform her whenever he comes over because she is anxious about not knowing when he is in the house. While I acknowledge that, I do not see how this affects her much because my boyfriend only stays in my room and my room is located closest to the main door so they would not bump into each other.

However, she would insist on me informing her every single time he comes over, even if he does not stay over. I feel like this is humiliating and every text I send is keeping a record of when he is here, and that she is being my parent by dictating how often he comes over. We have spoken multiple times about this and I have tried my best to inform her whenever he comes over but she has said that it was not enough. My biggest issue with this is that I cannot hang out with my boyfriend whenever I want and I feel anxious/worried about bringing him over now.  

More recently, we talked about this again and she started insisting that she feels that she is living in a mixed-gender house because my boyfriend is over everyday even though he does not stay over. He would come over for a few hours most nights and sleep over 1-3 nights during weekdays so I think that her reasoning is not valid. She started suggesting to have days that she can expect him to be over but life isn’t like that. Shouldn't life be spontaneous??

She has also mentioned how we had originally set a rule of not having men over at the house prior to living together but since getting together with my boyfriend, I wanted to rules to be more relaxed but my housemate does not compromise about having him over unannounced. She was fine with the rule change but only if I report to her every time.

I think throughout this whole process, my housemate has been very self -centred and has only been thinking about herself. I have made multiple compromises by trying to text her whenever but sometimes I simply forget because my boyfriend and I like to be spontaneous and we would accidentally fall asleep so it is difficult keep her up to date.

Also, my housemate is barely home and is mostly only home at nights so I don't see the point in texting her if she won't be home. However, she would still insist on being informed. It feels restrictive that I am unable to hang out with my boyfriend whenever I want.

From our last conversation, I decided that my boyfriend is going to come over whenever I want.

Am I the asshole or does she need to get out of my hair?

I recently got into a fight with my housemate over my boyfriend. I (22F) recently got together with my boyfriend (24M) and we live in the same University compound together. I live in an all female house with 4 other girls and my boyfriend lives in an all male house. Because I am Muslim, I am uncomfortable going over to his house to hang out so he comes over to my house instead. All of my housemates have no issue with him coming over whenever he wants to except for 1 of them. She would ask for me to inform her whenever he comes over because she is anxious about not knowing when he is in the house. While I acknowledge that, I do not see how this affects her much because my boyfriend only stays in my room and my room is located closest to the main door so they would not bump into each other. However, she would insist on me informing her every single time he comes over, even if he does not stay over. I feel like this is humiliating and every text I send is keeping a record of when he is here, and that she is being my parent by dictating how often he comes over. We have spoken multiple times about this and I have tried my best to inform her whenever he comes over but she has said that it was not enough. My biggest issue with this is that I cannot hang out with my boyfriend whenever I want and I feel anxious/worried about bringing him over now.   More recently, we talked about this again and she started insisting that she feels that she is living in a mixed-gender house because my boyfriend is over everyday even though he does not stay over. He would come over for a few hours most nights and sleep over 1-3 nights during weekdays so I think that her reasoning is not valid. She started suggesting to have days that she can expect him to be over but life isn’t like that. Shouldn't life be spontaneous?? She has also mentioned how we had originally set a rule of not having men over at the house prior to living together but since getting together with my boyfriend, I wanted to rules to be more relaxed but my housemate does not compromise about having him over unannounced. She was fine with the rule change but only if I report to her every time. I think throughout this whole process, my housemate has been very self -centred and has only been thinking about herself. I have made multiple compromises by trying to text her whenever but sometimes I simply forget because my boyfriend and I like to be spontaneous and we would accidentally fall asleep so it is difficult keep her up to date. Also, my housemate is barely home and is mostly only home at nights so I don't see the point in texting her if she won't be home. However, she would still insist on being informed. It feels restrictive that I am unable to hang out with my boyfriend whenever I want. From our last conversation, I decided that my boyfriend is going to come over whenever I want. Am I the asshole or does she need to get out of my hair?

TLDR: AITA for not wanting to tell my roommate every single time my boyfriend comes over even though we just hang in my room

I recently got into a fight with my housemate over my boyfriend

For context: I (22F) recently got together with my bf (24M) and we live in the same university housing compound together. I live in an all female house with 4 other girls and my boyfriend lives in an all male house 30 seconds walk away. Because I am Muslim, I am uncomfortable going over to his house to hang out so he comes over to my house instead.

All of my housemates have no issue with him coming over whenever he wants to except for 1 of them. She would ask for me to inform her whenever he comes over because she is anxious about not knowing when he is in the house. While I acknowledge that, I do not see how this affects her much because my boyfriend only stays in my room and my room is located closest to the main door so they would not bump into each other.

However, she would insist on me informing her every single time he comes over, even if he does not stay over. I feel like this is humiliating and every text I send is keeping a record of when he is here, and that she is being my parent by dictating how often he comes over. We have spoken multiple times about this and I have tried my best to inform her whenever he comes over but she has said that it was not enough. My biggest issue with this is that I cannot hang out with my boyfriend whenever I want and I feel anxious/worried about bringing him over now.   More recently, we talked about this again and she started insisting that she feels that she is living in a mixed-gender house because my boyfriend is over everyday even though he does not stay over. He would come over for a few hours most nights and sleep over 1-3 nights during weekdays so I think that her reasoning is not valid. She started suggesting to have days that she can expect him to be over but life isn’t like that. Shouldn't life be spontaneous??

She has also mentioned how we had originally set a rule of not having men over at the house prior to living together but since getting together with my boyfriend, I wanted the rules to be more relaxed but my housemate does not compromise about having him over unannounced. She was fine with the rule change but only if I report to her every time. I think throughout this whole process, my housemate has been very self-centred and has only been thinking about herself. I have made multiple compromises by trying to text her whenever but sometimes I simply forget because my boyfriend and I like to be spontaneous and we would accidentally fall asleep so it is difficult keep her up to date. Also, my housemate is barely home and is mostly only home at nights so I don't see the point in texting her if she won't be home. However, she would still insist on being informed. It feels restrictive that I am unable to hang out with my boyfriend whenever I want.

From our last conversation, I decided that my boyfriend is going to come over whenever I want.

Am I the asshole or does she need to get out of my hair?

Hi everyone!

I got diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago by a psychiatrist in Sydney and have been seeing him for continued medication treatment. Medication has been a complicated journey for me, where I have tried 4 different medications and my doctor was not happy with the effects of any of them.

Long story short things have turned very sour between us- I do not feel heard during our appointments, it’s common that he loses his temper towards me, and I left my most recent appointment in tears. I feel like I cannot return to him and need a new psychiatrist now.

Does anyone have advice on how to continue with medicated treatment from here? I’ve contacted a few places but they have said I need to go through the initial appointment and diagnosis again- which seems like a dread and is going to cost a lot of money.

Thanks!!

Edit 1: it personally feels like he loses his temper at me but I might just be sensitive about this. But he definitely loses his patience and seems frustrated at times. I plan to send a lengthy email to the clinic once I have completed my transfer of care!

Edit 2: Not sure how much detail I should have included in the post, but more information is in the comments if needed