Ghost Dropping/Abandonment - Advice Needed
I (40F)was in a developing Dom sub dynamic with someone (38M)I met last summer. We hadn’t formalized anything but the dynamic was clearly established, we had been discussing overtime, having not only a relationship, but having this dynamic be a part of that as well. He took several months of earning my trust and getting to know me, and when we got to an appropriate place for it and agreed, he initiated tasks, I completed them, he responded with significant enthusiasm and made an explicit verbal promise to take care of me the following weekend. Unfortunately, during this time he got bad news regarding a family member and went quiet and then I woke up one day to find myself completely blocked with no explanation. I’ve been trying to work through the grief that comes with an ending like this; life circumstances , but now I’ve started considering the dynamic part of it and what that means.
• If you were building a dynamic with someone and a personal crisis made it impossible to show up what’s the ethical way to handle it?
• As a Dom, what would it feel like internally to know you made an explicit promise of care to someone and then disappeared without honoring it?
• Is there a name in this community for when a Dom vanishes after a vulnerable exchange without closure or aftercare?
• For a sub who experienced this what did moving forward actually look like and what helped most with this breach of trust and vulnerability?