Dealing with gynecologists as a trans woman is exhausting
This has been in my mind for a while but I cant exactly share it IRL because it'd probably be tmi. So I'm just going to rant about it here today because Im in a mood.
I've been operated for almost 3 years. In that time, 11 gynecologists, 1 rehabilitator, 1 physiotherapist, 1 midwife, 2 physicians and 3 nurses have seen me naked. Every single one of them (except the midwife and one gynecologist) has had something to say about my vagina.
Its fucking exhausting, and I dont even know what to say to them when they do. The things they say are always technically positive, so its hard to complain, but they treat me more like I am a zoo exhibit rather than a person who needs their help. "Oh wow it looks a lot better than I imagined" "Its surprisingly realistic."
And of course, they have to bring in their buddies to show them. And since they never know what's the problem, what am I going to say? You have no idea whats wrong, maybe your friends know! Yeah no, 6 gynecologists staring at me at the same time is definitely not intimidating, its fine, please just tell me whats the problem!
And they never even know how to help me! They just tell me to call the surgeon who operated on me and see if he knows. Its not like he's on the other side of the country and has a years long waitlist. So far, the only people who actually knew how to help me were a surgeon who happened to have worked for him during his residency, and the head gynecologist that is now my go to whenever I can.
Which is so dumb, because none of the problems I've had are unheard of for gynecologists. I broke some stitches, what's the solution? Surprise surprise, its restitching them! I come to them with a problem of granulatiom tissue and they look at me like its normal for my labia to bleed when you touch it. I've had a muscular contracture for a year and a half, and only started physiotherapy this january because it was so hard that when I went to the ER they thought they were touching bone! "Must just be the pelvis, have you considered that maybe you're dilating wrong?"
It seems like they just not bother to learn. All of them (again, except the head gyno and the midwife) tell me how its their first time seeing someone like me, how they dont have any experience and its not their fault that they dont know how to help me. I can only hope to god that at least some of them actually try to do something the next time they encounter a trans girl.
I could just go on and on about every single one of these visits, the very first one of them I literally consider to still be the worst day of my life for several factors, and the inexperienced doctors on their own are a solid 50% of said factors.