u/BluebirdNo8358

Struggling with reasons to quit; my story...

I started using 7oh a few months ago after the back-to-back deaths of my dad and my dog, who was like my child. I needed something for the pain because it was unbearable and constant. I had to quit my job because I couldn't care at all about what I was doing and was crying in front of customers. All I could do was watch TV and sleep, and whenever I slept I had severe nightmares. I would often wake up screaming. I was in therapy, on antidepressants, learning about grief, etc.

I had no prior substance addiction issues except for nicotine.

7oh gave me peace. Under its influence I was able to feel calm, and hopeful about the future.

I promised myself and my partner I'd taper off as soon as I could. Once or twice I have run out of the stuff before the next shipment arrived and went into withdrawal for a couple days. It was hell on earth. Like the worst flu ever plus brutal depression. Like getting beaten up physically and spiritually. It gave me a look at how tough cold turkey would be-- and I actually had gabapentin, magnesium, and clonidine on hand. Not sure how much those really helped.

I started out taking about ~30mg a day total in two doses. 80%ish powder on average.

Over time that became more like ~60mg - 80mg a day total in 3 to 4 doses.

That's roughly where I'm at now.

But I'm trying to figure out why exactly I need to quit this stuff.

For the most part my only side effect is constipation. Granted, I haven't been managing that as well as I could.

At under $100 per month, it's affordable.

I feel comfortable with keeping my current dose as a ceiling. It feels, to me, like diminishing returns with higher doses so it's not appealing.

I don't have any kids.

But I feel it's quite possible I'm in denial about the negative side here.

What are some reasons for quitting I may have overlooked? My guess/hope is that it will become clearer once I return to work and have more responsibilities to manage.

reddit.com
u/BluebirdNo8358 — 3 days ago