u/Bluefoxfire007

The first paragraph is just for context, if needed.

"Splayed out on the soil and foliage, a lone woman began to stir. Her eyes struggled to open as the world came into view. Trees stretched endlessly into the sky, with rustling leaves floating past her aching body.

Her soft blue fur and short yellow hair rustled in the wind as she pushed herself upright, as bits of purple fabric hung like leaves on a dying tree. Her hands pressed into the soil, furred fingers ending in shapes still almost human, her tail fallen limp behind her."

The issue, is that I can't really pare this down further without risking the mental image. And every attempt to reorder it made it sound too list like and/or more redundent.

Probably wasting my time, considering the reception of the first half, but might as well.

When they finally reached the settlement, the anthro woman stood in awe, her head pivoting back and forth as she took in the sights.

Stone and wood buildings stood in rows of three, their walls reinforced by narrow steel beams, snaking brass pipes running along the sides. Small pistons pumped and hissed quietly atop buildings, with vents opening and closing via attached chains, connected to rotating gears.

A dark metal lamp post with small glass chambers stood nearby one of the bigger structures. Men and women in brown plainsclothing, leather belts, and brass buttons waved and greeted each other as they walked past on the streets, ignorant of her presence.

A gruff, burly man had then marched up to the group. His uniform brown matched the other soldiers, but with three multicolored pinstripe medals over where his heart would be, and an officer's cap as opposed to a helmet.

"You three better have a good explanation as to why you've returned from patrol an hour earl…" His voice trailed of as his eyes set on the blue furred woman accompanying them. His eyes bulged, mouth hung open, as his hand slowly reached down for the narrow barrel pistol holstered on his belt.

"Wait," the first man shrieked, dashing in front of her, arms outwards and acting like a shield, "She's not what you think!"

The woman trembled as she bore witness to the two men arguing. But then movement in the distance caught her eye. Another pair of soldiers were pushing a cart, its steel wheels carrying a man-sized beastman with brown fur, his eyes white and blank, while his fanged mouth hung open loosely.

She then noticed the officer’s scowl deepening, his hand drifting away from his pistol as he groaned. "I swear, those things are too loyal to the witch for their own good. Why even bother interrogating them?”

The woman's eyes and mouth widened in horror at the sight, her breathing labored and sparse. With a sudden burst of strength, she broke free from the grip of the man holding her, who stumbled back in surprise. But when she tried to make a break for it, her body lurched forward far quicker than anticipated, her stride slipping like a person on an icy lake. Before she could utter a sound, she slammed onto the ground, the left side of her mouth bleeding as it shot up in pain.

"She's trying to escape! Get her!" one of the other soldiers shouted, before he and other fellow infantrymen dogpiled onto her now prone form.

The woman thrashed beneath, her cries muffled as she struggled to break free from the rough hands that held down her arms and legs. "No! I won't let you do that to me too," she cried, her fingers digging into the rough ground, as the weight became increasingly suffocating.

Out of the corner of her eye, the officer had stepped forward, eyes cold, if not almost cruel. Without a word, he drew his pistol, pressing the barrel to the side of her skull, the woman now frozen in terror.

"You keep struggling, and the last thing you'll hear, is the click of the trigger," he said in a calm, but menacing tone. The furry woman gulped, her pupils dilated. All she could think of, was how hopeless her situation became. The only things she could now expect was either torture, or death.

Then, without warning, out of the corner of her eye, a boot slammed into the officer’s gun. The sidearm flew away, clattering as it tumbled across the dirt, before coming to rest several feet away. A collective gasp went up from the townsfolk, all wide-eyed and frozen in shock.

The man who intervened for her earlier in the woods stood rigid, his chest heaving as he looked at her, before fixing his gaze on the officer below him. Her breaths were just as heavy as his, unable to understand why he'd go to such lengths. All for some beast like her.

The officer scowled at the man who kicked his pistol away. After springing himself back up, the officer extended his arm forward, his hand forming a finger gun gesture, before cocking his thumb to the side. Without hesitation, a few other soldiers around him raised their rifles, taking aim at the lone figure who had defied their superior.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't court marshall your sorry hide," the officer seethed, his voice full of venom.

Despite his fellow soldiers’ guns now aimed at him, the man stood tall, his stern jaw and determined silence speaking on his behalf. His eyes then darted over towards a blonde, short haired man dressed in white by the small chapel. "Elias, your divine assistance is needed," he called out to him.

Elias nodded back. With a holy cross in one hand, and a book in the other, he moved with a calm grace, his robes flowing in the wind as he made his way to the woman.

The officer rolled his eyes, having already since retrieved his firearm. "And how exactly will cleansing this... creature, prove anything?" he grumbled, side-eyeing her on the ground.

The woman's eyes widened and ears flattened on the side of her head, Her heart raced, her body shaking uncontrollably, even with the weight of bodies still pressed onto her form. As Elias knelt down beside her, she felt that she'd been played for a fool all this time.

“Please, listen to me, I know that you’re—” the soldier tried to plead, only to be cut off by the woman snarling back at him.

“No! You listen to me!” she spat, her breathing harsh and erratic, “You lied to me! Pretended to support me. Just so you could have a later spectacle of my torture…” Her sobs pierced the veil of the otherwise tense situation, as she averted her gaze to the ground below. “I. Trusted. You…”

“If you’re what I think you are, then this won’t affect you,” the soldier blurted out, his expression unchanged.

A collective murmur spread throughout the gathered crowd. Elias however paid no heed to the whispers as he chanted an incomprehensible prayer, the cross in his hand now enveloped in a soft, yellow light. He lowered the cross down to the woman’s head, as she shut her eyes tighter than a fort’s gate. As the holy symbol made contact, its glow intensified, the woman’s head now obstructed by its brilliance.

When the light faded away, everyone gasped in astonishment, save for the soldier, who simply sported a faint smile, and the anthro woman below, whose eyes and teeth were still clamped shut. There was no pain. No screams of agony. For absolutely nothing had happened. The murmurs among the crowd only escalated even higher.

“This can’t be possible. No beastman can fully resist the power of the goddess,” the officer said with a trembling voice. His head snapped to the priest, ordering him to try it again, but at an even higher concentration.

The woman clamped her eyes and mouth ever tighter in response, to the point of discomfort, as the cross touched her fur. But once again, she felt nothing. In fact, her earlier bleeding on the side of her mouth had now vanished. Astonished gasps were all she heard, followed by complete silence, save for the faint bursts of steam in the distance. Her eyes flew open, darting from side to side at the crowd in front of her, some slack jawed and stiff, others with their hands over their mouth. “What?” she said in shock, her voice labored and thin. “What’s going… on? Why didn’t it…”

The other soldier cracked a smug smile and crossed his arms, before addressing to everyone that this confirmed his suspicions. That the woman was no beastman. But rather, a converted. The crowd’s whispers had escalated into a near uproar.

“A converted?” One man shouted, his eyes bulging from shock.

This can’t be…” another woman gasped. “The witch hasn’t created one in years. Why now?”

From the corner of her eye, the blue furred woman noticed the officer signalling someone. Moments later, a burlap bag was thrust over head, muffling her cries.

The man who had helped her before rushed forward to assist. The officer planted the cold barrel of his gun to the soldier’s forehead in response, yet this didn’t deter him one bit. “Are you insane?! She’s no threat. Let her go!”

“Absolutely not,” the officer shot back in a fit of ire, “the witch wouldn’t just leave a converted out in the woods alone and weak. This woman has to be a spy.”

Other soldiers from the crowd aimed their rifles at the woman’s head, before turning their eyes to their superior. With his free hand, the officer stuck out his arm and made the figure gun gesture, his thumb quivering. Every man and woman present waited with bated breath for his command to end the poor creature’s life. The children clinging to some adult’s legs.

As time went on, the officer’s face slowly shifted from that of stern determination, to that of contemplation. He then shut his eyes, clenching his teeth as he let out a long defeated sigh. He curled his arm back, before taking his earlier gun gesture and balling it into a fist, his men looking back at him like he had lost his mind.

“Take her to the holding cell. Until I can figure out what to do with her.”

Context edit: By slop, I mean the "writing like a movie" kind.

EDIT2: Only the first chapter would be in objective third. It switches to third omniscient for the rest. Granted it's more of a "drone mainly hovering a bit of distance from the MC.

This is the first 675 words of chapter one for context. And yes, the POV is intentional, because anything else would risk spoiling later reveals.

Splayed out on the soil and foliage, a lone woman began to stir. Her eyes struggled to open as the world came into view. Trees stretched endlessly into the sky, with rustling leaves floating in the wind past her aching body.

Soft blue fur covered her humanoid form, with short, bright yellow hair covering her head. Her hands and feet, though furred, mostly maintained their human shape. Whatever she had previously worn was shredded, leaving her bare and with minimal protection from the elements.

Her elongated fox-like ears picked up on the faint sound of twigs crunching under marching footsteps. Three young men had entered the clearing, each armed with basic single shot rifles. They wore standard infantry uniforms that consisted of sturdy brown trenchcoats, thick leather boots and loose pants. Brass clips gleamed on the pouches around their belts. Upon spotting the creature, one leveled his gun at her. "Crap, we got one all the way out here," one said, finger tense on the trigger.

Her eyes widened in terror, Wait," she rasped as she raised her arms, even as they felt weighted. "Please... Please don't shoot."

"No. This has to be a trick. You're not fooling me, creature." The soldier's voice was stern, as his finger tightened on the trigger. But before he could get off a shot, another of the men pushed his rifle to the side, as he shouted in a sharp tone for him to stop.

The first man yelled back, "Are you out of your mind? Have you forgetten the threat the beastmen pose?."

"Well, I don't think she is," the second man said. "In fact... I just realized we might be able to use her for something."

The creature's body trembled on the forest floor, fear clouding her thoughts, unable to make sense of what was going on. What in the goddess' name were they planning to do with her?

The second man approached her, pulling out a pair of sturdy brass alloy handcuffs from his pack. "I know, this looks harsh. But just cooperate with me here, ok? I'm giving you your best chance at survival."

With no other option in sight, she put her hands behind her back, wincing in utter humiliation. The man kneeled down and secured the cuffs on her wrists with a heavy click. After a quick tug on the restraints, he then lifted her to her feet.

She flinched and cowered when something brown had suddenly wrapped around her body. But it wasn’t rope or chains, it was a blanket. Coarse and scratchy, but warm. She then blinked, glancing down at it in disbelief. "I... I don't understand. Why are you even doing this for me?"

"You will, in good time" the man said, patting her on the shoulder.

After a brief moment of deliberation, the men made the decision to abort their patrol and head back to their post with the woman in tow. As they traversed the flattened dirt trail, one of them shoved her from behind, causing her to flail her arms around to stay up.

"Don't dawdle. I rather not stay here any longer than needed."

"Hey!" the first man said to him. "Listen, I can't force you to like her, but shoving her around is just going to give her a reason to not trust us."

She however just grimanced, keeping her mouth shut as the two argued behind her. The sudden snap of a large branch made them all jump. The men drew their rifles, shifting their gaze around, while the woman quivered, her ears now flat against her head.

"Alright, we need to pick up the pace. Now," one of the men exclaimed as he pointed his firearm in different directions. "If any of the witch's forces are nearby, there's going to be more coming." He then glared at the woman, stating that he especially didn't want this deadweight slowing them down.

Witnessing two of the men pick up their pace a little, the third nods with a soft smile at the woman. She nods back with an anxious expression, before they too hastened their steps to keep up.