u/BogusCarrot

I don't know what to do. I can't leave the house. I'm incredibly afraid of talking to people as is. Even online. I don't know what to do.

I don't have any plans for the future. I don't know how I can ever leave this house. I feel incapable of being a normal person. I have no support either. I do nothing but sit in my bedroom all day. It used to be that I would look out the window at normal people and feel jealous. Now I feel like I'm being taunted. I am tired all of the time and it is tiring just to hold my neck up anymore. I have two years until I can legally move out and focus on mental recovery and maybe proper education but the isolation is getting to me. My health is also deteriorating. It's been like this for a few months now but I have all my life been isolated.

I can make it out in two years and maybe get my life working but until then I need to survive. If anyone could tell me ways to make this easier I would greatly appreciate it.

I was at the church I'm forced to go to today and someone came up to me and made "small talk". Which isn't really possible for me.

"Any plans for summer?"

"no"

"Been doing anything lately?"

"no"

"Been hanging out with your friends at the mall?"(I know it's a cliché but this is verbatim)

"no"

And then we sat there awkwardly until I was called away. What do they want me to say? "Sorry I am severly isolated and struggling to survive until tomorrow"? I guess I could tell them "I woke up". It is impossible for me to do small talk unless we talk about the weather because nothing is happening in my life. Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest.