My parents homeschooled me and I just graduated not to long ago in may…I turn 18 next month but I want to know how do I take my independence back…I have a long distance boyfriend they don’t know about/ my mom knows but thinks is just a boy who likes me but idk how to tell her about it. I really don’t know what to do..
I (26M) felt like I was too dumb to pass the GED tests before advice and encouragement from a coworker who is like an adopted grandma to me. I was terrified especially of math, but I did the adult ed/GED course at my local community college and the teachers were great!
im really not sure if this is appropriate to post here, i apologize if its not. you can see my other posts for more context
im 18 in october. my parents arent physically abusive but neglected me severely. i live in georgia in the usa with no education, little to no human contact (outside of parents) for most of my life, severe anxiety, CPTSD and potentially autism. im obviously fucked up but usually able to push through up until recently and ive been doing especially bad the last few days. i feel stuck and helpless.
my family is extremely codependent and has isolated me even from other family, and my mom has made it clear she will not let me leave. My grandparents have offered to help me and let me stay with them when I turn 18, but they're 4 hours away and I have no way to get there. my parents are going to move us 9 hours away from them by the end of the year. im starting to realize i probably cant do this alone anymore
with my mental state im thinking the best option is to be hospitalized until after my birthday, then ill be 18 and i can decide to stay with them. if im in a hospital ill be kept safe and on a routine which is better than home right now, and i dont trust myself to not act on my thoughts here, i tend to spiral at night. the problem is i have no car, money, friends, license, and im a minor. is it possible to put myself in a mental hospital as a minor in georgia without my parents being there? will they just send me back to my parents since they aren't physically abusive? i know cps would so im not even considering that. if i walked a few miles from home and called 988 tonight, what do you think would happen, and what should i say to them? when i was 14 i was going to be sent to a hospital by my counselor and my parents were able to just tell them no. can they do that if i *want* and need to be hospitalized? id rather do anything than continue to live this way. please help
What the title says. Also on a throwaway account since this whole part of my life is shameful.
I was homeschooled along with my sibling starting in what would have been 3rd grade. I had it better than some folks here-my parent had an actual teaching degree and we lived in a state that required documentation. Nevertheless, I feel permanently stunted and fucked up even now. I've come a long way but I can't catch up with my peers. It certainly doesn't help that I have diagnosed autism (which wasn't really supported much) and adhd (completely untreated/unsupported).
My sibling also has adhd and has managed to find more success than me, probably in part because they were parentified. They finished their college degree and have a job that pays ok, two things I never accomplished. I feel ashamed comparing our trajectories. I suffer from several health issues and have been on disability for years. I was accepted into a vocational rehabilitation program and was approved for the degree I picked, Industrial Design. I backed out last minute for a few reasons including not having adequate child support for my toddler, but perhaps more than anything I feel ashamed and afraid. Being older than everyone else and making stupid mistakes in class sounds horrifying.
Everyone says I have "potential" but I feel too old for that shit now. I'm halfway decent at writing and painting and have had professionals in those fields encourage further pursuit, but I don't believe in myself. I've worked "real" jobs before and waking up at a set time to go into highly autistic-unfriendly environments made me physically ill every day. When I was a child I wanted to run my own business and VR did offer that as an alternate path for me, but the statistics regarding small business startups and my mental problems make me skeptical (I do have a few business ideas I actually believe in, but the economy is not good as we all know).
I apologize for the info dump-I've been crying all morning reading the stories here, perhaps feeling sorry for myself. To whoever managed to read all this, thank you.
My mom(on her own, with no input from me, my sibling, or my dad) started homeschooling me and my brother in the 2020/2021 school year, when I was in 5th grade. She made this decision because public school was “too woke”, and took it into her own hands to make my schooling almost entirely Christian nationalist and young earth creationist propaganda.
I just finished 10th grade this year, and in the state that I live in I can go to college(paid for by the state) as dual enrollment in 11th and 12th grade. At first I was really happy because the community college in my area has all the classes I want to take and resources to get me there, but my parents will not allow me to go there. They want me to finish high school with my associates degree in biblical studies at a random Christian college with close to no classes that will help me work towards the majors im looking into, and on top of it all, it’s online. I wanted to enroll in person at least, because the ONLY interactions and relationships I’ve had with other people since I was 10 years old was an echo chamber of culty Christians.
I genuinely don’t know what to do. I don’t want to let my mom ruin my college education like she has my middle and high school. I’ve taken learning into my own hands but there’s only so much I can do. I really want to be able to take classes I want these two years to work towards a biology degree and get my generals done but I’m afraid it’s too late. I really really want to learn, but she keeps messing everything up for me and I can’t convince her to let me do anything else.
Next year I’ll be enrolling as an adult so she won’t be able to stop me, but is there anything else anyone can think of to do for this year?
(Also thanks if you read all of this, I feel like I should give you a cookie or smth for getting through that)
basically the title. i’m just turned 21(f) and my parents are telling me i NEED to go back to school, like a college of academy to speedrun for a real job.
it’s not like im doing too terribly, i work at a bakery as a team lead and im being trained to manage inventory for two stores. but the management is a POS and my parents are trying to move states soon. so this position isn’t forever and they want me to have a backup plan. the pay won’t be nearly as good across state lines.
i’ve been out of school since february cause of burn out and i keep saying that im going to go back, but i really don’t want to. my parents are urging me to go to this local dental academy. but i can’t find the motivation to do it or really care. i don’t want to work with teeth, ive just been content and comfortable with being tormented at my current job. The academys classes are going to be once a week, on my works inventory day too, so like i feel like my “promotion” could be on the line too. i think i have ocd and ive been basically spiraling with the same suffocating cyclical thoughts since Thursday night. i don’t want to go back to college either, it was a literal waste of time since im not allowed on campus and cause of a credit issue i had. i don’t want to have a career, i just want to be drunk and high all the time
Thoughts?
4th of July it’s 1am I’m ranting but F This bs seriously I’m sorry but. I used to be so close to all my aunts and uncles growing up and my cousins we used to be knit but sometime in high school it became a bullying situation that turned into straight shh talking about me behind my back. Due to my upbringing and home school background. Now I’m 21 and I get treated like a 12 year old but my actual baby cousins who just graduated HS are being treated better than me. My baby cousin asked if I wanted to do shots and she’s underage and I’m not but I was like no I need to drive my family home thank you though and she goes “ haha she said no of course she did she’s so innocent” I’m so fuc annoyed seriously I hate going around my family it’s the same sh every time I leave feeling like sh.
Like that gut feeling you know they talk about how weird you are and your the home school kid sheltered. And they make it so obviously they do it.
I hate my parents for making me the freak of the family,
“ are you as wild as you’re crazy mother? When she was your age ommmmmg you were doing some crazy sh”
Like no… and why is that such a huge deal like leave me alone I’m sitting here being humiliated.
Every time I go around them I swear it’ll be different that I’m literally almost 22 and still being treated like a fully mentally disabled person. I can understand what you’re saying? Hello?
I have been “homeschooled” all my life. For the first 6-8 years of my life I was being properly educated for the most part, at least with basic math and reading. I think when timetables started getting involved is when that all stopped. I have tried going to school a few times in the last 3 or so years but I just couldn’t do it for a few reasons, but mainly because I didn’t know how to do any of the work and for social reasons. I don’t have any friends, I’ve never written a paper or an essay because I don’t know how and have never had to, I don’t know how to do most math, and my logic skills suck. I am 15 years old and very lost and scared for my future. Is this educational neglect? What should I do? Someone help me please and if you have any questions I am happy to answer
Hi all,
I think I know for a fact the answer is yes, but because of the way I’m manipulated, I’ve been taught to second-guess it. Some reinforcement and enlightenment would be appreciated :)
Though the dysfunctional nature of my childhood was hefty, I’ll keep this as brief as possible:
After the age of 10, my mum lost interest in attempting to educate me and I had to be self-taught. I essentially taught myself every thing I know. Even when it came to basic division, that was all me.
When I hit 12-13, my situation worsened and my isolation became a lot worse. I only left the house about once a month, and this was most of the time to a dentist/Doctors appointment about a made-up ailment (I had to make up illnesses and aches and pains just to get some fresh air). I was even labelled as ‘selfish’ from my mum for suggesting I go shopping (with my own money) for my 14th birthday.
She is massively overprotective and will triple-check things with me all the time; this increases my stress as it then convinces me I’ve forgotten something or have got it incorrect, whereas I never would’ve given it thought beforehand. She makes me hyper-alert and overly cautious (in situations where I needn’t be), and it’s an exhausting and limiting way to live life, especially because I’m an adult, in a relationship, with a full-time job, yet I still feel babied and despondent from my childhood, and the mistreatment I still receive today.
She would become abrasive whenever I mentioned the idea of going to public school, and she was dead-set against it, because apparently I had no autonomy or ability to independently think. She made the decision for me even though I was miserable, and I was severely depressed between the ages of 13-14, yet she had little interest in helping me.
This is a condensed version of what my childhood was like. I had no friends after the age of about 12, I rarely left the house and had to make up reasons to, I taught myself everything - those are the Big Three that affect me to this day, that is not including her foul and helicopter-parenting way of speaking to me.
Many thanks if you’ve read this far and/or posted a comment of support. :)
If not allowed, take down please.
This post pissed me off, to claim that people who were severely educationally neglected are people who call attention to themselves, and are failures, is disgusting.
These useless homeschool posters have nothing better to do than support their own ways of secretly abusing their children under the guise of "protecting their children from the system".
Sorry if my grammar is bad, you probably know why.
I want to live in an RV so bad, I know this sounds horrible but like I've had this dream since I was a kid to live inside a car because I don't know I feel like it would be cool to do that and always go to different places on the American map and spend my whole life exploring and falling in love with America.
It sounds super stupid but it brings me happiness
I didn't have anything else to do when I was younger, so I just spent my time drawing and watching YouTube. I'm still doing that.
I haven't really tried to look for a job or get my ged.
I can't imagine a future where I have a stable income or a good social life, so I don't even try. I'd rather just shut my brain off and draw.
The only thing I really look foward to now is improving my art.
I was homeschooled K-12. I was left less educated, and I had horrible social skills. Despite this, I have since grown into a well-rounded adult through practicing exposure therapy by intentionally doing things on my own that bring me out of my comfort zone. As an adult, I have grown into a very confident, socially adept, and smart person! I am currently excelling in college, holding a 4.0 GPA!
This is coming from someone who was extremely sheltered, did basically zero English, a little bit of algebra, and pretty much no science or history (abeka curriculum…)
It took a lot of work to get to this point, but I am very proud of the person I have become! Though I still carry a lot of internalized shame. The negative stereotypes I grew up being subjected to as a child still affect me. My entire life, I’ve had to prove to others that I am smart and socially adept.
As a child, when people found out I was homeschooled, I was often met with a wrinkled nose and an “oh,” and then they would either stop hanging out with me or they would stick around and give me random math problems to test my abilities. Not only would other peers do this to me, but adults would do this to me! After a few side eyes, weird looks, and uncomfortable questions, I learned at a very young age to lie and tell people I went to public school.
I’m 23 now, and the subject of school doesn’t come up much anymore with peers, but occasionally it does, and I still carry a lot of shame around being homeschooled due to the ridicule I received as a child, though I don’t lie anymore. I generally just avoid the subject and deflect questions. I still harbor a lot of internalized pressure to prove myself not only to others, but to myself; it’s exhausting. I feel like I’m held to a different standard. One awkward social interaction, or one dumb slip-up, is not seen as a normal human error; it’s seen as a representation of my lack of social skills and education, despite exceeding the average person socially and academically. It’s exhausting!
I just feel like something in the conversation about homeschooling needs to shift, because being homeschooled itself was very traumatic for me. But the constant social pressure and negative stereotypes are even worse; they are something that I have internalized deeply and are something I will probably have to battle for the rest of my life. Talking about the dangers of sheltering and educational neglect is necessary, but stereotyping is insulting and extremely harmful
I’m friends with a woman who is in her late 30s who was homeschooled and I need some help. She constantly asks for help but counters any advice given.
I thought it was just her but I’m wondering if it’s due to the fact she was homeschooled all her life.
We’re part of a group of friends and she does things like friend hoarding. She wants everybody all to herself but doesn’t want anybody hanging out without her but it’s okay when SHE hangs out with that person by herself.
She has trouble on every job she’s been on and every job she’s been on has bad management according to her because they constantly get on her about calling out or coming in late. The amount of jobs she’s had within 6 years is quite alarming for someone her age.
She is extremely naive in dating. Guys use her but she finds the weirdest ways to give them passes. She obsesses over guys she’s gone out with no more than once and emotionally dumps on them and then wonders why they disappear.
Speaking of emotionally dumping. There’s not a day that goes by that she emotionally dumps with extremely long text messages bordering on essays. And not just one but 5 to 7 loooong messages per day.
I told her to see a therapist and she agrees she needs to but then never does. I don’t know how to help her or know if she can be helped by anything I can do. Everything I tell her is met with an excuse or polite counter.
Anybody else have this experience or any advice?
I feel so bitter at times, when I see people with friend groups, hear them tell their little stories about all the things that have happened in their lives, all the places they've visited and the new experiences they've had. It's so painful sometimes. My family emotionally amputated me. They tore out my ability to socialize and expect me to smile and treat them with decency.
I am in pain. I can't talk to others. I can't approach others. I get overstimulated so easily due to the myriad of difficult mental issues i have. I mean, ffs, I have AuDHD, PTSD, OCD, and I just came out of extreme isolation 2 years ago. So much abuse happened in that household. I keep reliving it. I can't fully get away from my abusers. I can't get a truly happy day because when I start feeling happy my mind invalidates the abuse, and I have to remind myself that it happened and that it was terrible, over and over again.
I genuinely wonder at times if I'll make it to the end of the year.
I really jinxed myself eith my last post 💀😭. My step-dad is coming back as I type this. Yaaaaaay back to screaming and fighting and beating one another and alcohol. This is just awesome. This is soooo great. Man I'm so fucked. I hate to wish or pray or even think of that kinda thing but seriously hoping this man just dies. He probably did a bunch of drugs wherever he had been at so maybe that mixed with age will take him out. Idk just need support
Hi, all, I am a 13-year-old. I am homeschooled, and have zero friends, have never had a friend in my life. Recently, i have been seeing youtube shorts talking about how bad america is, and all the comments are are non-americans talking about how much better their country is, but i know damn well i will never be able to leave america.
so my plan is to commit suicide by 18, if i even make it to 18. Whether it be from a self-inflicted gun wound, hanging, or overdose, i'd die! THERE IS NO HOPE IN BEING AN ADULT IN AMERICA! ALL IT IS IS PAIN AND SUFFERING? I SO BADLY WISH I WAS BORN ANYWHERE ELSE, BUT NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOooOOooOOOOooOOooOOooOooOOoOOoOoOOoo!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111!!!!!. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF LIVING!!!!!!!!! THERE IS NO HOPE! NONE :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))())())))))))))))))))))))))))))))
so, if anyone has advice, please send it my way (closeted trans woman living with a bigoted dad by the way, never will be able to be myself. i have no one to talk to, and i've already tried crisis lines, they were useless)
Tw for suicidal ideation and general misogyny.
Im a 22yo F. I was homeschooled my entire life in a very conservative Christian family up until mid-high school during the pandemic when I signed up for community college classes. That was maybe like the best decision I had ever made.
I finally had someone to teach me pre-calculus and even calculus without making me feel stupid. I realized that I actually LOVED learning and that I loved math! I remember bursting into tears when my father would teach me algebra (we're also an immigrant family, so there was already issues with me learning that were simply lost in translation because my dad was just teaching me what he understood).
It was so frustrating realizing that years of my life were wasted sitting around at home. For several years between the ages of 9 and 12 my 'curriculum' was me just teaching myself with no discipline because my mother did not have the time nor the patience and neither did my dad. The things that were 'Christian approved' were right wing religious textbooks that omitted critical information about science and nature and even history. I was forced to attend christian summer camps and homeschool co-op things and socialize with other homeschooled kids which I guess was fine because I was at least talking to kids my age, but we were all being fed propoganda and even at my age I could tell that they were bullshitting us. This isn't to mock anyone's personal religious beliefs or anything, but these were really really extreme Christians.
I still genuinely struggle with math, writing (like proper essay writing or creative writing) and basic finances to this day, and its so so so embarassing to be around other functioning adults who have had decent childhood experiences that know how to do basic things and had 'normal canon events' like prom or normal summer camps (and even graduating with a high school diploma). Looking back, I genuinely don't think I had any significant or memorable experiences before I had turned 18. My siblings, who were also homeschooled, and I were pretty much isolated from the world despite living in a city and having family outings. So many of my days were spent crying or rotting my brain on the internet and hoping the days would end sooner so I could die quicker.
My education wasn't something on the back burner for my family though...which I guess is good for all things considered compared to my other homeschooled peers. My parents just didn't believe in the "liberal indoctrination" that I would be getting in school (i.e, learning about evolution, sex-ed, having male friends or even regular friends..all that good stuff). Originally, my mom wanted me to finish 'high school' and then look for a husband to start making children and being a stay at home mom. My dad was a little more sympathetic (he has a Master's degree in engineering, my mother never finished university) and encouraged me to look for universities after finishing my community college courses.
I ended up studying biology with double minors in philosophy and history and falling in love with learning. University was maybe the best 4 years of my life because I actually had friends and no one told me what I was and was not allowed to learn. I think the obvious and most worst part about university was explaining to people that I was homeschooled and being mocked or talked down to because of it. It got to a point where I would just lie and say that I went to a normal school or that I was public schooled but bullied in high school so that I wouldn't have to deal with the shame of being like a fully homeschooled kid raised in buttfuck nowhere.
But the world was my oyster freshman year and that motivation to be a better version of myself kept up throughout university. I just graduated magna cum laude and plan on pursuing a master's and a phd! My motto is that I want to continue learning about the wonders of the world until the day I die. In university, I finally learned about how evolution *actually* works and now its my current field of study in my fully funded Master's program.
Unfortunately, my parents don't really share the same enthusiasm and ambition. Within my family, I am one of the only women with a university degree, much less one with the intentions of pursuing higher education. I just...I love learning so much and challenging myself and knowing that I am capable of doing so and I hate that what I would consider successes to be so diminished by nearly everyone in my family. I understand that money is always an issue with paying for school but I am recieving a decent stipend for my master's program that can pay off a significant portion of my student loans if I wanted to. If I find a good Phd program that would also pay for school too.
I don't know.
I'm just so so angry that it took me so long to appreciate learning and that I could have recieved a proper education in those critical years (also yknow, being properly socialized and having friends), and I'm angry that my dreams aren't really being respected by my family, especially my mother. I get eye-rolls and "sure, buddy'd" a lot when I express my interests in stuff like engineering and physics and biology and outer space and i just feel part of me dying inside all over again.
I feel like I have just begun living life, but I have no idea what to do. My parents think that I turned out fine and that the only reason why I'm interested in learning is because I was homeschooled and that when I was a kid the other public school kids were all stupid or ignorant compared to me. Ironically, being homeschooled was one of the reasons why I am currently so determined to continue higher education. Because I didn't learn shit while I was homeschooled.
Anyways, if you're reading this and are currently homeschooled, please know it does get better. I am so much happier now than I have ever been before despite my grievances. I've developed long lasting friendships, have improved greatly in socializing, and like I said, don't plan on stopping my education any time soon :)
tldr: homeschooled until the pandemic, went to university, made friends, want to do masters degree, grieving but happier than ever. it gets better.