If you want context on what's been going on the past week look at my recent posts. In short my parents are acting like fhey are gonna divorce.

This post might no be the most relevant to homeschooling, but I think the reasoni have someone these problems I'm gonna talk about is beacuse of homeschool.

So my situation Is theclassix one. Homexchooled jn the middle of nowhere, never go to the doctor, only go to church, yk the drill. Beacuse of the homeschooling curriculum being so bad and not even counting for anything In the future ive just straight up stopped doing it. I want to try to still do math but I have so little motivation rn I've basically given up.

Since I'm only expected to stay alive and not much else j really just stay in my bed all day. I never go outside, never exercise or talkto people. I spend over8 hoursa day online with lack of anything better to do. I usually get really into shows or movies that u submerge myself in to kinda distract myself from everything.

I've known that homes hooling would have affects on my mental health but I really underestimated how nbad it would be. I've had depression for 3 years and counting, suicidal ideation for 1 and cou ting. I've had auditory hallucinations before and beacuse of the lack of social anything g I talk to myself in my head 247, I've done it so much sometimes when i space out I keep having conversations even when I'm not conscious of it.

Physical health has also gotten extremely bead recently, I have scoliosis that's not being addressed, I need braces but we don't even go to the dentist anymore. I've stopped showering or doing basic hygiene as much as j should beacuse of the depression. The worst one is my eating disorder that has gotten WAY worse recently, it doesn't doesn't that there's never any food here. It's so hard to eat anything. I gagged trying to eat applesauce yesterday. (Also none of the mental and physical heath problems are being helped either beacuse my parents dont care or they don't think it exists)

I just feel so bad rightnow. I've been spqcing out alot more, I hardly ta,k anymore either. It's hard to get out of bed. My head feels weird, it feels like nothing is real and nothing is actually happening.

I cut myself withaplastc knife a few days ago. I dont even know why i did it but it scabbed over cuz it wasso deep and I think it might scar.

Going in public. Is terrifying. Beacuse I'm always scared I'm going to pass out beachse I'm not eating enough I don't even want to leave my house anymore. It makes ges me so mad eacuse I'm so fucking stupid I ca teen function like a normal human being

Idk ig what I'm trying to say is that I feel like im dying. Literally. I cant eat hardly anything and I dont even see the point in surviving anymore. I can barely feed myself, and going in public right now feels like genuine torture. I cant even admit myself to a psychic ward or call someone to help me with my eating disorder beavuse my mom took away the internet beacuse she's mad I told Murad she was calling this guy baby and baby on a video game.

I'm just scared. I feel like im gonna die soon wether its by starvation or my own hand. I think this is tyeworst depressive episode I've had ever. I feel so weak and just getting out of bed right now is exhausting, however retarded that sounds.

Every time I sleep idont feel rested at all. I feel like nothings real when I'm awake. I canteven eat or shower. I ca nt even call for help. I don't know if anyone would even help me. I dont know if they could . I think I'm gonna die soon and I dont think there's anything i can do about ut. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Doing basic everyday the gs is exhausting. I'd rather fucking die then go in public right now. I just wanna stay in bed and rot away

please dont dm me bc I can't even stay logged into my account for long rn and I suck at talking to people.

I cannot believe they brainwashed me into thinking I was spoiled, dramatic, and lucky for 20 years of straight-up abuse & neglect, the likes of which most people DON'T BELIEVE WHEN I MENTION. I genuinely used to hate myself because I thought I was making my life difficult for no reason. See how that makes no sense? If I could've been happy with my life, I would've BEEN happy. But I believed it with my entire soul, because all the adults and people I loved/trusted around me were telling me these things about myself!

I used to think I was fine and normal. Now I have like 8 diagnoses. Lol

PSA you can get better. You WILL get better if you try. BUT if you think you're being dramatic about the effects of homeschooling--YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT ANGRY ENOUGH.

Is it okay that I do this?? Does anyone else do something similar????

I met this super cool girl the same age as me and we were chatting for AGES and it was the first time in 17 years that i felt like a normal teenage girl. The topic of school came up (since we were both young, and out and about during school hours), and she said that she dropped out, and asked about me. I said I did too, and just mentioned the local school closest to me. And we just moved on in conversation.

I've had a job for a while, and at first I was honest and said to coworkers that i worked during the week, and struggled with counting change and stuff because of homeschooling. But then it just made everyone treat me really weird and ask a TON of questions and stuff. (But some people have been really nice and helped find ways for me to get an education and stuff). And then if I met people in public, and told them, they'd kind of go quiet and stop talking to me.

I just got a second job, and I'm planing on telling people I dropped out.

I feel bad for lying, but like... I'd rather be treated like a normal person you know???

In my area, dropping out is pretty common in an around the "rebel kids" in my area, so alot of people do it, and people ask WAY less questions, if any at all. (And when I'm not around my parents) I like to dress kinda 70s/80s punk, so most people assume I am a "rebel" lol.

I'm just wondering if other people do this/what people think of it???

And like, I'm I bad for not telling people the truth?

For me my parents fed me a lot of processed sugar and o suspect I have diabetes already but the problem is my parents don’t believe that diabetes even exists and refuse to get me insulin for it as a result I’m exhausted like 80% of the day and I can’t leave my bed (while fully being awake doomscrolling)

I only get energy 1 hour before Imm supposed to be asleep and get sleep deprivation headaches and migraines because I’m awake for 21 hours straight

My sincerest apologies if this doesn't quite fit in this sub. The problem isn't necessarily the fact that I was homeschooled (although that's definitely part of it), but that my parents are withholding things from me and trying to force me to live with them. Here's the general gist of it:

• They refuse to give me my personal info (specifically my birth certificate and SSN).
• I have no form of secondary ID whatsoever (not even a student ID obviously; and no medical records on hand either since I've never seen a doctor).
• So I can't get an ID.
• So I can't get a job or open a bank account.
• Even if I did have a job, we live too far from town to walk there every day, and I don't have a driver's license (surprise, they refused to teach me to drive, too).
• I tried looking into remote work to cut out the transportation issue, but even at that, I'd still need an ID/bank account (also, a quiet place to work, which I don't really have).
• Any money I've "made" throughout my life doing chores or whatnot didn't even belong to me - my parents would keep it on one of their accounts, and if I wanted to buy something, I had to go through them to get it. Recently, I got them to give me my money in physical cash, but now they won't let me do chores anymore, as if they just really don't want me having any money.
• I'm not allowed to have my own mail.
• They've always severely limited my internet access.
• I don't have a phone number either.
• I can't leave the house at night, because they have door alarms set up and won't give me the code for them.
• I've never had a real-life friend, and I've been cut off from all my non-immediate family, so I don't have anyone else I could stay with or ask for help.

Whenever I make them angry enough, there's always the "Well why don't you just get out of my house, then?" threat that they so love to make. So I'm scared to try certain things for fear of possibly getting kicked out. For instance, if I could manage to scrounge up some documents for an ID, I could technically try to make the hike to town, it wouldn't kill me or anything...but when I got back, they'd definitely start a shouting match with me, and if they made me leave I don't know what I'd do.

They love taking things away from me if I make them mad, too. After an argument we got into recently, for example, they've limited my internet access to an hour or two a week (so please excuse me if I don't read through your posts very soon).

If this isn't just some load of legal loopholes and there's genuinely something illegal going on here, then technically I could call the police, but then I worry I might end up homeless just the same. I sure as heck can't afford a lawyer, and anyway, it's not like I have a heap of evidence under my belt.

I feel like there has to be something I can do, but I just don't know what it is.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and thanks in advance.

Edit: 21F, also I live in Florida.

Last week I went to Vegas with my girlfriend. We played blackjack and she briefly “taught” me how to play. However she left out the part that the Jack, Queen, and King cards all equal 10. I “played” blackjack for nearly an hour and didn’t lose any money by the end of it, thinking I did well for my first time.

When we were with our friends last night, my girlfriend mentioned how blackjack is a strategy game. I said no not really because you never know what card the dealer is going to pull. She said some people learn to count cards if they are good enough. I said well I can’t even do the card math quick enough to figure out how many I had on the table each round. I said, loudly, to everyone, “I kept trying to think to myself, okay Jack is 12, Queen is 13??? King is 14??” Making a light joke, I thought, about my lack of math skills.

Everyone got silent. My girlfriend said “They all equal 10.” I said “what? Why didn’t you tell me this?” She said “i thought everyone knew that from when they were kids” and proceeded to ask every single person when they learned that. One learned it from Fallout New Vegas (released in 2010, and this person is my age so they were 12 when they learned this fact) and another person said they played blackjack growing up.

My partner insisted “every card game is like that” and I said… “not solitaire, I play solitaire… not go fish, I played that as a kid…”

And nobody said anything about it the rest of the night and I got super silent and weird.

WILL THIS EVER END???

im 18, a senior, but I wasn’t taught algebra or geometry. my mom (parent led homeschooling) didnt teach me because of my math skill level. I can’t tell if I was dumb and it was my fault or my moms. idk I am so embarrassed, I will be okay because math is starting to make sense and I just know Ill figure it out. (I need it for college) but it’s still so godamn embarrassing and degrading. I hate this and recently I’ve made it worse for some reason I’ve just been really lazy not doing anything for the past three weeks. like why am I so lazy? I hate myself aaaagh. Like I want to get out of the house, (my parents suck, they are mentally abusive, also they are Christian nationalists who are transphobic, and I just freedom to be me) so why am I just sitting around?

sorry for the rant, I made like 3 points there I think, but mainly was I just a dumb fuck growing up?

I’m looking in to blue collar work, specifically welding but I’m still figuring that part out. I have no degree, I have literal panic attacks when I think about school.

I never learned algebra, I was barely getting the hang of fractions before the lack of education started in my house. My mom went back to college in the midst of my brother and I still being in school, so our schooling basically stopped once hers started.

when I say I am bad at math, I mean it. I can do basic basic basic math. that’s it.

I’m trying to force myself to attempt some sort of career, some sort of plan to at least help me get away from my parents, since Im still stuck living with them (I can’t afford to leave).

what do I do in regards to relearning math? I 100% need it if I want any job that will give me enough money. I dont know where to start. I am so so so beyond behind and I have such a hard time comprehending it, I always kind of have.. I mean I’ll have an emotional meltdown trying to understand what’s going on.. I have no solid plan in regards to my career , I just know I want to be able to make enough to never have to see or need my parents ever again, which is why I’m looking in to blue collar options. I cannot see myself going back to school at all, I just can’t… so, what are my options for math? I have Kahn Academy on my radar, but where do I even start with the math?!!?

This is my last and final hope / attempt. genuinely. otherwise I just don’t care anymore if this doesn’t work out.. I know it sounds dramatic but, I’m obviously not cut out for this world, I wasn’t set up to be either which doesn’t help.. I’m over it

My mom is talking to somebody about something (it's private), and the topic of homeschooling came up. She is gloating about how we function like an actual school (schedule, interaction, ect,) and how involved she is. She is LYING. LIKE OH MY GOD. She bought 2 BOOKS for us to read together, and we read 1. The other has just been sitting and is now a fucking paper weight. It's been YEARS. Then she had us listening to an audio book on YouTube while she did housework. That lasted for two days, and we haven't read or listened to shit since. That was also years ago. She said that she doesn't just have us sitting in front of a computer, and she's very involved. Girl. GIRL. SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LEARN EACH YEAR. SHE DOESN'T CHECK WHAT TO SEE IF I'VE DONE WORK. SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT I'M STARTING 12TH GRADE THIS YEAR!!!! The only time she's involved with my schooling is the day before the first day of school. Other than that, I'm on my own. She didn't buy any workbooks for me because my sister said she they weren't needed, somebody who doesn't value school, mind you. AND NOW SHE'S LYING ABOUT DROPPING US OFF AT THE MALL AND THE THEATER. SHE DROPPED US OFF AT THE MALL ONE TIME. ONCE. WE HAVEN'T BEEN BACK SINCE. The only reason we, as a family, went to a theater because mom wanted to go. And that was literally a month ago, which was my first time being inside a movie theater. I didn't even know we had one so close to home because WE DON'T GO ANYWHERE. SHE'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT GAS SO WE DON'T ASK. She says she isn't holding us hostage, which, I mean, she isn't. Physically, at least. But do you really fucking think we're gonna ask to go places when you ALWAYS complain about having no gas? Like girl WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Tw for child abuse lol

People who weren’t homeschooled have zero empathy for homeschoolers and homeschool alumni. Trying to make friends is so exhausting because I have to constantly hide being homeschooled so every time they mention something from the entire first 18 years of their life I just have to laugh along and pretend I understand. Haha yeah school buses are… idk… a thing I assume… yeah the pacer test or whatever it’s called I tooootally did that and definitely know what you’re talking about. If I tell them I’m homeschooled then they make cruel jokes about how it “explains everything” as if I don’t know I’m fucking weird?? Yeah I know! I know homeschooling explains everything! That’s what I’M saying!!! Or they say how they wish they were homeschooled which to me is kinda like saying “I wish I could move to North Korea!” Or they say it really couldn’t have been as bad as I say and I must not understand how bad school is. At least you could SPEAK TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS for the first 18 years of your life instead of being trapped in a room with the same two people 24/7. Or they say it’s a privilege omg are you kidding me. we weren’t fucking rich my parents just worked a lot so I was even more alone 24/7. My therapists and psychiatrists say they wish they’d been homeschooled or that they want to homeschool their children (yes all of them say this no none of them are religious just very progressive and think homeschooling is progressive for some reason). I’ve given up all hope with therapists and psychiatrists because they all either A) won’t let me talk about homeschooling because they think it doesn’t matter and didn’t affect me as much as I say or B) think homeschooling is great and my experience is just me being a privileged brat. No one wants to listen to me about the complete and utter isolation, the lack of education, the helplessness. When I was 12 I broke my fingers and asked if I could see a doctor and my parents said lol no. I spent years in pain with misaligned fingers until I was 15 and I said fuck it and re-broke them myself with a hammer so I could set them ‘properly’ (better at least) with a wiki how tutorial. Yeah I’m really privileged lol

I hope this isn’t triggering or disrespectful to others. If so let me know so that I can be more careful in the future.

Does anyone else relate to being offended by labels that define your behavior but you feel like it’s unfair because you were homeschooled and kind of got forced into them? Socially awkward and introverted are the biggest ones that I’ve considered being true. My family has suggested that I’m autistic to explain my social struggles. I’ve wondered if I am asexual to explain my lack of interest in dating, but actually, I would date if it didn’t feel so intimidating.

This is hard to explain and I want to make it clear that some of these labels, in fact, are legitimate for people. For me though, some of these terms were placed on me by others and I’ve never wanted to identified with them. Not because I’m in denial (maybe it is denial) or don’t want to be associated with them, but because I question whether it’s true. What if I was raised in a public school environment and had constant social interaction? Would I have still struggled? There are people who have normal childhoods but still have behaviors that fit these labels. But then again, maybe that is how some of these things become a part of us…

I guess my main point is it feels different to be raised in a normal way and discover these things about yourself compared to being raised abnormally and questioning them when others suggest it to be true. I push back when people suggest I am these things but maybe I’m just stubborn or confused.

I despise homeschooling with the passion of a thousand dying suns. Not only do I have two incompetent specimens for parents who complain constantly about C O M U N I C A T I O N😫 yet they are the ones who refused to teach me how and furthermore ignored me when I tried;when I told them hundreds of times that khan academy (ah yes I was also forced to "learn" of khan academy.... exclusively of khan academy, and I mean forced because if I didn't waste my time on it I was threatened to be beaten or kicked out the house) is boring or that I didn't understand what that fecal matter, sad sack of molecules sal khan (aka satan incarnate) explained, or when I told my father LOUD AND CLEAR that I didn't want to go a contest in my "choosen" martial art (I didn't really have a choice) and guess.... what he went behind my back and talked to my coach to go to said contest, or when I told my father to move us the hell out of the failed abortion of a slightly more evolved village that the im forced to live in (and guess what we're still here). Furthermore, the absolute failure of an education they gave me and my brother; when they first took us out of school at age 8 we went on a 8 month tour of Europe which yeah cool and all if you ignore the fact that I was stuck with two emotionally underdeveloped apes who tried (and failed) to teach us a minimum of math and then threaten US because THEY are sorry excuses for educators, then when we returned home and they forced us to use khan academy OH MY GOD DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT, the absolute failure they forced on us is astounding, first off there's the fact they ripped any academic curiosity before it even had a chance to grow, second when they also ripped out any passion for learning cause I freaking loved to learn before their disaster of a failed dictatorship, third when THEY ripped out any godamn positive feeling for learning then THEY have the balls to start moaning about how UNINTERESTED we are or some other crap like that. Then these apes have the balls to start complaining about communication as if I'm supposed to trust them after they literally didn't listen to me, threatened to beat me, kick me out the house or hear them(my father) threatening my brother to force him into a mental institution because he didn't want to talk to his demented ass as if he would have any trust in him....oh right I guess trust comes with threats, or my father threatening me to abandon me on a mountain to make my way back down alone to teach me to be "grateful"... Right grandpa, let's go take our asshole meds, now (fyk, if he ever does go through with it. im calling cps on him, I do not care). Then they complain about our social lives as if we're supposed to be social butterflys when they didn't even try to regularly meet with other homeschooling familys or other familys in general.Then the few that we did meet they expect little kids to maintain long distance friendships. Then they complain about us staying to much on our laptops and phones as if we have anything better to do we live in a slightly bigger VILLAGE where there is literally nothing to do, you don't even live here you exist here. Now I'm a teenager taking the IGCSE exams (which I do not give the slightest f about, one way or the other) and then guess what they still talk to me about taking the A-levels and then going to college as if they didn't erase the last parts of my good will towards education years ago, now they dream of me doing the exact thing they put no effort towards because at 15 they finally came with a tutor who had a minimum of competence (unlike a certain man with a waste of time platform), oh I guess there was that one teacher whose online class we attended who they still use as an excuse for wasting my life with khan academy, which by the way up until 15 was the only teacher we had ,minus sal khan cause he ain't a teacher he's not even an educator. Oh, by the way they expectedme to educate myself at 9 YEARS OLD, yeah they basically expected me to be a genius and figure out my own education until I turned a teenager, of course they don't admit that they claim khan academy was just supposed to be something we 'went' through as if that makes any sense, hey genius if you go through something it doesn't mean you learn it, in case they expect me to know things. So yeah, I have more to say but I'm to tired to write it down basically I despise homeschooling because I just ended up disinterested in education, depressed and stuck in a "town" (actually a piece of purgatory that ripped from the realm and fell down on earth) that I also despise with a passion. and furthermore the absolute lack of taking fucking responsibility for their decisions is pissing me off, they chose this for us they failed us they refused to give us a decent education for most of our homeschooling life and then they blame US for it they say we weren't forced to do anything as if we weren't literally forced to do this, they say we did what we liked but we literally didn't do what we like or wanted. and god forgive they take some godamn accountability for their actions that affect us but nooooo it our fault. actually you know what it is my fault, it's my fault that I didn't have a full blown meltdown anger fight with them. because despite acting like they value communication so much every time I've told them khan academy is a piece of shit, then come all the excuse oh it was supposed to be something you went through, oh it was supposed to build your general culture (despite the fact you can't learn shit of khan academy) or oh but public school kids have it worse, bullshit. I don't even think khan academy is bad I think people just expected it to be something it isn't, what khan academy actually is, an overblown barely competent homework helper.

Tomorrow is my highschool orientation after 4 years of homeschool im so excited but also so nervous does anyone have any advice?

Or really, any role model in my home life. Clearly my mother is delusional enough to think "homeschooling" was anything real (I have to put it in quotes now, or else it feels like I'm acknowledging "homeschooling" as anything resembling either real school or a proper home), and my father was too weak- willed to stand up against a not- particularly- bright woman with personality disorders ruining his child's life. How am I supposed to model myself after that as a man and not feel like a totally spineless wimp?

I am homeschooled — (well, practically unschooled, because I am truant since my parents are too busy to teach me anything...) and I am attending a driving school for the first time. this is my first time in an actual classroom. day one, I'm listening to everything the teacher says. it goes in one ear, and out the other. I zone out sometimes without realizing. I can't retain any information whatsoever. I'm worried that I'll disappoint everybody and make a fool of myself. I don't know what to do. I have a test at the end of the week and I'm so worried. I don't know how I will get a job when I'm old enough to, if I can't function cognitively.

​

For context, my older sister and I have been homeschooled for like 8 years now with no connection to the outside world except through screens. She started college today.

So, at lunchtime, my sis called my mom and was debriefing the day so far at that point. She ended up telling her that she met someone who had a lot of scars on their arms. My mom proceeded to tell her to stay away from him. Like, omfg 😶. It made me upset because I have scars all over my thighs. She doesn't know they exist, but still. So should my sister avoid me too? My mom has SEVERE mental health issues, so should we all avoid her? Like wtf. I'm already slightly ashamed to show my legs because I have a few scars on the lower parts of my leg (which are easy to blame on my cats), but this just made it a bit worse. Idk. Maybe I'm overreacting.

I'm trying so hard not to be jealous of my sister, because I know I'll be going to college next year and it isn't that far away. But omg I can't take this. Hearing her talk about all the people she met, everything she did, the fact that she has REAL teachers with REAL work to do, it all made me feel so jealous. She gets to be out in the world while I'm still sitting on my bed, wishing I had a life to live. She also said that there are queen people there, which means I'm not the only one in this city 💀😭. It doesn't help that she's taking art classes 😭. Art is a passion of mine that I don't really talk about because no one else values art the way I do. My sister doesn't either; she's taking some of the classes for the credits.

When we went to pick her up, I felt so out of place amongst people who are literally my age or a little older than me. Like, I've never seen so many young people. And I've never seen so many African American guys with HAIR. My mom always told me that black men are supposed to cut their hair to look professional, otherwise we'd look homeless, ect. But they actually had hair, and lots of it. Like omg I feel like an alien. AND SHE STILL THINKS I CAN DRIVE FOR WHATEVER REASON. My permit expires in 2 months. I haven't even driven outside the neighborhood. NO ONE HAS BEEN TEACHING ME TO DRIVE FOR MONTHS. But yet she still thinks I can drive. Like girl open your eyes.

I know that I should probably try therapy. I currently don't have access to it, but I hope to try it in the future. However, for now: If anyone that's been in a similar situation could give me some advice on how to overcome this, I'd be really grateful.

I literally have no clue how to get myself to do anything; I feel like a complete failure. I've been working on catching myself up so I can (hopefully) attend community college next year. I'd love to go into biology or psychology someday, but I'm honestly starting to question whether or not going to college at all is a realistic option for me. I've reached at least a sixth-grade level in all major subjects, but recently I've seemed to hit a wall; I can't get myself to continue even though I know I need to.

I feel so ashamed at how behind I am compared to other people my age. I haven't done anything but sit in my room looking at my phone/computer for multiple years; I feel so much existential dread about this fact, and it paralyzes me. Whenever I try to study, I just feel this overwhelming shame, pain, self-hatred, and regret, and I want it to stop immediately, so I just don't do it. I've done this when I've attempted to educate myself before, but now that I'm an adult, I know that I can't just say I'll do it tomorrow anymore, and yet I still keep telling myself I'll do it tomorrow.

I feel like I don't have anyone to blame but myself, either. My mother took me out of school towards the end of fifth grade because I was having truancy issues and outbursts at school. She was very anxious that my outbursts/truancy would create legal issues for her/her boyfriend at the time (which is also why she didn't get me therapy for these issues), and she was tired of (unsuccessfully) disciplining me, so she just decided to homeschool me. She tried to educate me at first, but I didn't really want to do my homework. She mostly gave up after two weeks. I was going through a traumatic event at the time, to clarify.

My mother blames me for it; whenever the topic is brought up, I'm usually told something along the lines of, "I'm sorry that you think I was such a terrible mother," or "You know, I did everything I could for you! You were just so difficult!"

TDLR: I feel ashamed/dreadful because of how behind I am in school and life, and I can't bring myself to do anything about it.

Homeschooling is a scam on a massive level to mess with easily gullible people into a false sense of security. Often homeschooler parents are just as easy to be fooled by slime balls looking for an easy buck. I saw it with my parents and I see it now with AI generated homeschool textbooks.

Crypto currency is the number one currency of human trafficking. Criminals relied on it's success of normal people thinking it was a safe investment. Now we have leaders backing and keeping it safe to further exploit easily gullible people.

Now I want to help all the people who are stuck or feel like their stick stuck. But to write my helpful and emotional opinions or ideas just makes more data to feed some companies database. My identity is something to be packaged and stored and repeated to others (Hopefully in a nice way).

But it doesn't stop there now. I will never know if it's a human being on the other end needing my help. Even if it's not trying to get my opinions for a training set it's also trying to keep me engaged and on a platform.

You mix in bad actors of any sort and no laws in place to keep anything in check.

It break my heart and hurts my head. Why are we like this and why do we keep doing things to harm one another?

All I can do is live my life and separate myself from all those who cause harm. But it all feels like inaction and submission like the home I grew up in. And all I can do is tell others to vote and to donate. But people argue and they'll keep arguing and they'll keep telling me everything is wrong with me.

Everyone thinks I look angry. But I'm really just depressed and tired. I'm tired of seeing how things could be and how they should be. I'm tired of people like my parents who believed everything was sunshine and flowers when isolation was my constant reality and my only safe compainion.

I wish I could live like a normal person and have normal relationships. It seems only trans and gay and foreigners people are the ones to truly understand me. But everyone seems to think I don't care about them. They have no idea how much I worry for them and think about them. But to speak up gets them angry at me.

Truth is I think the smart thing is to limit all internet usage and avoid this website. But I know there are real people here needing real advice. The only best advice I could give is this.

Often the best answer to what troubles two people have between them is the answer neither wants or is happy with.

If I could begin again in my house I would have chosen to be inconvenient to my parents tell they put me in school. But that's just me looking back with my now mature adult perspective. The most hurting fact I have to admit is that my parents would have been happy to kick me around tell I agreed to stay homeschooled. I'm afraid of how many children deal with that now.

I hope that god has mercy on the brain dead people enabling other brain dead people.

I don't know if I should ever return to this website anymore. It's getting toxic and it's more then just people now being toxic. That's the part that disgusts me the most.

I hope for you all! You all keep me going and keep me nice! When I have to deal with angry coworkers I never yell back. But I also don't take their sh!t. No one knows me and I don't really know myself. But I guess some small part of me is still strong enough to stand up when the time is right. That's just being strategic. But I just get called manipulative. Truly I can never feel balanced.

Good luck out there to you all